Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Tuesday (12w0d)

Did you see that? TWELVE WEEKS!! Hurray!!

The countdown is on.

I saw this yesterday and thought I would share:

What the Locusts Have Eaten

I don't know about you, but I find the first twenty weeks of pregnancy to be an incredibly, incredibly discouraging place to be. Thanks to the author for that article.

Yesterday had our second midwife-interview with a midwife friend of mine and her wonderful student, had a lot of fun except for the fact that I was feeling just awful. But still fun.

Now we pray.... and try to make a decision. Will it be midwife #1, midwife #2, or an unknown #3? I'm actually having a really hard time making this decision.

While we were there, the midwife sweetly offered to do heart tones for us, so we did - and there was baby, loud and clear! It surprised me, like it always does - I always have a hard time making the "pregnancy = baby" connection during the first trimester. It's always just about being sick, sick, and more sick. Nice to experience something that is "baby" rather than "sick"!!

Yesterday was pretty awful as well, though not as bad as Sunday. Hoping for a better day today.

Recently I've been thinking about the facts of the situation.... To wit, that baby is currently "in" and must someday come "out." This means..... dum, dum, da da dum...... going through childbirth again.

Oh, crumbs.

Despite the fact that I'm an avid, over-the-top birth junkie, childbirth isn't something I'm especially fond of - though it definitely does have its perks, unlike HG. Ah well, will cross that bridge when we get to it. I'd really like to take a Hypnobabies (not Hypnobirthing) or Brio class, but as always, the combined cost of class plus babysitting is a bit of a barrier. Will have to think about that down the road.

And really, don't take me too seriously on that childbirth bit. There is actually a LOT that I love about birth. Being at home, having the best midwifery care in the world, receiving care from a top-notch doula, laboring and birthing in water, not having to fight any battles (like for delayed cord clamping, or for not having baby vaccinated post-birth, or for immediate and continuous skin-to-skin, or to keep my placenta, etc. etc.), all the post-birth festivities (it's really like a party!). It's just that I'm not particularly good at labor, and it is definitely a physical challenge. But the balance is on the positive (unlike HG!!!).

Right now I'm just dreaming of being past the sickness phase. Don't know when that will be, but looking forward to it. Again, I have been blessed beyond measure this pregnancy. No HG, and doing better than I ever have. It's just that constant nausea does get one down, even if it's not as bad as the past. But I do realize my blessings.

Have a great day, all......

1 comment:

  1. Yeees! I also agree completely to count 2nd trimester from very earliest possible time :-)

    With you on hearing baby and making it seem more real. I got to hear baby last week and it was a nice strong whap whap whap whap beat. I really do try to refer to being pregnant rather than ill but mentally I don't equate this bit with a baby either.

    Midwife choices, tricky. Maybe it is a good thing that midwife saw you feeling rotten because you want someone who can really understand that. Shame about feeling ill and missing your jab but at least you can sort of use it as a test to see if you feel better or worse.

    Bit much that you're getting so little sleep, at this rate you'll be more rested with a newborn! I sent an email you might like.

    I do envy you and that author your faith. I'm not sure what I believe, I pray in a tight spot but I just don't have that sort of daily relationship with God. I think you are very strong and I am inspired by your positive attitude and gratitude. I am glad it is better this time for both of us but sometimes I just really wish neither of us had to have any sickness to get a baby. I am a bit of a green eyed monster when it comes to women who have lovely pregnancies.

    With you on labour too - just not thinking about it if I can help it!


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