Friday, August 22, 2008

My Own Version of "You Know You've Got HG When...."

I thought I'd change this list to mirror my experience. As I've noted before, I had mild hyperemesis, so the intense stuff doesn't apply too much to me. I'm leaving in the ones I've experienced and adding some new ones.

You Know You've Got HG When...

- You want to kill people who tell you to eat crackers
- You dutifully try to eat said crackers, ignoring the fact that they are making you sicker... and sicker... and sicker
- You buy Ensure by the case...and you are only 27 years old
- Your hubby shops at five different stores trying to get deals on Ensure (those babies are expensive!)
- You can pontificate in ridiculous detail about the virtues of various nutrition drinks - Boost, Ensure, Slimfast, generic brands (Chocolate Boost rocks; don't even waste your money with the generics)
- You forget you are pregnant (seriously - very seriously)
- You think about writing a book about throwing up (basically, with this blog, I am!)
- You tell your husband, "Okay, we can watch this for a few minutes, but I'll need to go throw up for a while before we can finish it." (this is at the tail end when you're feeling much better)
- Taking your prenatal vitamin is about as practical an idea as swallowing a beached whale.
- Your husband’s complaints of nausea makes you laugh.
- You think, "Next week I'll feel better... and next week.... and next week.... and next week...."
- The nausea causes you to lose all fear of labor pain.
- You are finally at your target body weight after all those years of trying.... and you're too darn sick to care.
- The idea of eternity takes on a whole new meaning.
- Post-HG: The following phrase has driven you to the brink of madness: "Come on, we all dealt with morning sickness!"
- You think eating an entire bowl of cereal constitutes a good meal.
- You call your entire family to tell them about said bowl of cereal ("Hey, guess what! I just ate a whole bowl of cereal! Cereal!!)
- After recovering, you thank God every day for the rest of your life for your health

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