I found the following quote in the Beth Moore study book that I am completing as part of a Bible study at my church, and I found that it really resonated with me. I have had a hard time recovering spiritually from hyperemesis (along the lines of "how could you do that to me, God?") and this was very helpful:
"Few things exist in life that Satan can take advantage of more effectively than unforgiveness. It extends an open invitation for him to infiltrate circumstances and spark memories to fan the flame of bitterness. Satan will stop at nothing to broaden the wedge unforgiveness drives between us and our Savior. Why? Because he knows that it is impossible to be filled with the Spirit and filled with unforgiveness. Only Satan wins in the war of unforgiveness...
"If we refuse to forgive, we tie God's mighty hands from 'working all thigns together for good.' He will not bring personal good to you from your pain if you do not release Him through your forgiveness. Why?... Christ has a purpose in the pain you've suffered or He never would have allowed it. Until you surrender to His purpose in the specific matter at hand, He cannot work it for your good. Do you know what that means? It all happened in vain - for absolutely nothing...
"I had no idea the ministry God would grant me through my misery. When I am speaking, the mere mention of my abuse results in a line of women waiting for me when I'm finished. They most often ask why God allowed those things to happen to me knowing that I was going to work for HIm. I look down that line of women and respond, 'For you.' God has slowly but surely ushered me to a place... a glorious place... where the body of Christ has become worth my pain. How did such a miraculous transformation occur? Somewhere along the way, I began to realize some of what it means for me to be worth His suffering."
- Beth Moore, "Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit," pp. 129-130
I needed to read this, Diana. Thank you for posting it. I think you will understand what I mean in light of the struggles I have expressed following my HG. I never considered that unforgiveness toward God might be my problem. Food for thought.
ReplyDeleteWow. I just stumbled across your site today. I'm currently 11 weeks preggers and feeling like poo. As I read your post, I was thinking, wow, she is so right. I haven't been angry at God over my past hurts, but I have been very scared this time around and not putting my trust in HIM. I decided that I had to say “Thank you” to you when I saw the date of your post. I was in the hospital that time with a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. It's amazing how our Lord uses us as messengers. Thanks again! :)
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