Friday, February 13, 2009

11 weeks, 2 days: Learning Humility, Slowly

Morning sickness seems to be my chosen vehicle of spiritual growth. Last time, hyperemesis taught me compassion - the fact that there are circumstances in which people can't just "suck it up and deal with it." I learned that one on the fast-track. This time, my moderate morning sickness seems to be teaching me humility - the ability to accept help when needed. I don't know about all of you out there, but I have a really hard time accepting help - or even worse, asking for it. Just a huge mental block. I love helping people, but I don't like to be helped. I think we're all in that boat.

Anyhow, the deaconesses at our church had long-ago offered to send us a couple of meals to help us out. I refused, though I was grateful for the offer and should have accepted it. Then, out of the blue a lady from our church called me up and said, "I've made you guys dinner. When can I deliver it?" Wow! And it was great. And it prompted a wake-up call - We needed the help, so why wasn't I accepting it? So after a few days of thinking it over, I swallowed my pride and contacted the deaconesses to tell them that we'd like to take them up on their offer.

In thinking about it, I realized that refusing needed and offered help is some weird combination of pride and selfishness. Pride in wanting to seem self-sufficient, and selfishness in not allowing people to express their love when they want to bless us.

So... I have learned two lessons:
#1 - Be willing to accept offered help when needed.
#2 - Be on the lookout for people who need my help, and be ready to offer it - by force, if necessary!

I have also learned a couple of other handy life-lessons this week:

First of all, NEVER try to cook paper containered-food in a toaster oven. I tried a Sam's club lasagna in our garage toaster oven last week and it was a disaster. I managed to put out the fire, but both the lasagna and the toaster oven are now headed for the trash. Sad.

Secondly, NEVER leave your present of Valentine's candy for your hubbie in the same room with a toddler, unless you want to return to the room and see said toddler in a state of ecstasy, covered in chocolate and surrounded by wrappers.

At least there was one piece left in the box, so I was able to give a token gift. :)

Even though I've changed the email on this account, I'm not receiving by email comments left on this blog - I must have done something wrong. Hopefully I can remedy it soon. But since I'm not able to respond to people, a few personal notes....

Anna, thanks for the encouragement! I'm very glad I didn't try to do the doula training, because I think I would have paid for it big-time, and these last few days have been rough anyway. (And I just got a jury duty letter, so now I've got another battle to face.....)

Rachel, I'm praying for you - keep going! If you feel comfortable trying the Bendectin, I'd definitely recommend it. If you want advice on it, call up Motherisk and talk to them. Here's their number:

1-800-436-8477 - Morning Sickness

And here's their website:

Motherisk Morning Sickness

That is where I got all my info on Bendectin/Diclectin, and they can give you the scoop on dosage and drug combinations.

Also, Rachel, I've just been doing diaper changes by holding my nose - the only way to do it, I'm afraid - and by hoping that most can occur when DH is home. And I know about food preparation - that's why I'm not unpacking my kitchen, because looking at food labels is horrid. Hang on!!

Also.... Will your insurance cover any more Zofran? 4 mg/day seems awfully low. Right now I'm doing 24 mg/day - that's a bit high, and I'm trying to bring it down, but I really doubt I'd be doing too well on 4 mg/day. Will they pay for a Zofran pump instead?

Love to all!


  1. You're right about that pride thing. I have the same reaction and thought processes. It's hard to admit the need for help.

    The story about the candy made me laugh out loud -- so funny!

    Re: Jury duty -- I'm thinking a letter from your OB and/or midwife should do the trick. If it doesn't, just don't take your HG remedy that day and go throw up on the judge. That'll teach 'im!! :-)


  2. Diana,

    I tried to email you at your email address, and it was returned as a failed message. Don't know what is wrong, but I couldn't email you from my yahoo account at all.


  3. I think Kathy's right. A letter from you OB should do the trick for Jury duty. Just pregnancy might do the trick- I've heard that it's not that hard to get out of.

    Learning to accept help is something I've grown into also. When you don't have any other choice, you tend to learn quickly! :)

    My Dr. told me that there's really not a limit to the amount of Zofran you can take, just a limit to the amount of constipation you can handle (caused by the Zofran.) I had the pump set at the highest possible setting during my whole pregnancy, and I still take it today. I'm FINALLY down to 6 mg. a day- that's b/c my insurance changed, and I didn't have a I'm getting slowly better. I'm sure I was taking at least as much as you were at some point. Mommy and baby turned out fine!:)
    Hang in there!!!!!


I love to hear from you! All kind and thoughtful comments will be published; all inconsiderate or hurtful comments will be deleted quietly without comment. Thanks for visiting!