Sunday, January 11, 2009
A Note to Rachel
Hi, Rachel! I can't respond to your note because blogger won't let me (for some reason), but I wanted to say congratulations on your positive pregnancy test! I will be praying for you and your new babe, with hopes that HG will not follow you into your second pregnancy. Thanks for your sweet note!
6 weeks, 3 days: Zofran ROCKS
After writing optimistically on Friday, things went quickly downhill. Except for a couple-hour break midday, I was spending most of my time being either incapacitatedly-nauseated (new word) or throwing up. SOOOO..... last night I capitulated and broke out my small store of Zofran that I had gotten from an OB a year and a half ago in case of future pregnancy, and took half a dose (I only have 20 pills, so rationing is the word of the day.) Wow!! Last night was still yucky, but completely manageable - what a change! And I took one this morning, and I feel quite well! Hurray!!
My OB forgot to send the prescription for Zofran in on Friday (when I went to pick it up yesterday they'd never heard of me) so we'll have to do that all over on Monday, but for now Zofran is really doing it for me. Pray God that the effect lasts and that I'm able to get enough of it from our insurance company to do the job! For now, though, I am an absolute and fanatic convert of the stuff. Bring it on!!
My OB forgot to send the prescription for Zofran in on Friday (when I went to pick it up yesterday they'd never heard of me) so we'll have to do that all over on Monday, but for now Zofran is really doing it for me. Pray God that the effect lasts and that I'm able to get enough of it from our insurance company to do the job! For now, though, I am an absolute and fanatic convert of the stuff. Bring it on!!
Friday, January 9, 2009
6 weeks, 1 day: Thanking the Lord for Instant Pudding
I'm serious. Whoever made that stuff should get an award. I haven't eaten it since I was pregnant last time, but it's the ultimate upset-tummy food. And easy to make! And MOST importantly, it DOESN'T SMELL!!! Woo hoo!!
I contacted Dr. Lemon-Ginger's office today and got the promised Zofran prescription called in, so now the ball is in the insurance company's court. Will they or won't they? We'll know by tomorrow.
I also canceled my ultrasound appointment. I had been looking forward to it, but considering (a) how yucky I feel in the mornings, and (b) the fact that one has to go through TORTURE to get it done (i.e. drinking 44 oz. of water and holding it for 2 hours), I figured it wasn't worth the trouble - especially since the original reason (cessation of pg symptoms) has obviously vanished!
And so, the big question..... Do I have HG? Most emphatically, no. Pray God it stays that way. Right now I'm uncomfortable most of the time and miserable mornings and nights, but I am not despondent, despairing or quasi-suicidal, all of which were the case last time. I think that I would be, barring the Bendectin, but the Bendectin is helping me hold the line - praise God for that! Hitting the six week mark has been a triumph, just because I remember that last time at six weeks I wanted to die. Literally. Now I'm at least semi-functional, hurray!
One thing that is harder now is that I have a roving mess-maker in the house whom I am no longer able to clean up after efficiently - and I refer to my toddler, not my husband. Last time I didn't clean for six months and it was fine - things just got dusty. Now it looks like a tornado hit! But thankfully DH is stepping up to the plate and we are making it through. It's just going to be messy for a while. Another huge blessing is that my mom, who is in town helping us get our house ready, has agreed to step back from the house stuff and let my dad and DH handle that while she focuses a bit more on helping with DS and things over here. Praise God for that arrangement!
As I mentioned earlier, this is the end of the road reproductively for me. I know I said that with DS, but I am serious this time. I can't do this again. Not only would I risk HG again with another pregnancy (and the risk is not over with this one - far from it), but I am sick-sick-sick of living in fear. I'm tired of never being able to make long-term plans ("Well, I'd love to give her a baby shower/help with a wedding/join a committee/plan a visit, but I'd better not volunteer for it because if I got pregnant, I'd have to back out"). I'm tired of having to watch my diet and take supplements for the "what ifs" (to prepare in advance for pregnancy). And I am SICK and tired of living the last half of my cycle in breath-stopping fear. So I'm going to find out from my midwife what our options are, and do that as soon as is humanly possible after the birth. I'm sorry to end my reproductive life so young, but it is simply not worth living in the fear.
Speaking of my midwife, I spoke to her yesterday, and her comment on the possibility of finding a supportive OB outside of the two she knows was, I believe, something along the lines of "Good luck!" along with a muffled snort of laughter. Sad, isn't it? American doctors are taught ACOG's party line of midwife-hatred waaaayyyy too well.
Well, I'd better go! Love to all!
Oh, and if you missed it, check out the entry below on the ongoing HG research project! HG mums, listen up!
I contacted Dr. Lemon-Ginger's office today and got the promised Zofran prescription called in, so now the ball is in the insurance company's court. Will they or won't they? We'll know by tomorrow.
I also canceled my ultrasound appointment. I had been looking forward to it, but considering (a) how yucky I feel in the mornings, and (b) the fact that one has to go through TORTURE to get it done (i.e. drinking 44 oz. of water and holding it for 2 hours), I figured it wasn't worth the trouble - especially since the original reason (cessation of pg symptoms) has obviously vanished!
And so, the big question..... Do I have HG? Most emphatically, no. Pray God it stays that way. Right now I'm uncomfortable most of the time and miserable mornings and nights, but I am not despondent, despairing or quasi-suicidal, all of which were the case last time. I think that I would be, barring the Bendectin, but the Bendectin is helping me hold the line - praise God for that! Hitting the six week mark has been a triumph, just because I remember that last time at six weeks I wanted to die. Literally. Now I'm at least semi-functional, hurray!
One thing that is harder now is that I have a roving mess-maker in the house whom I am no longer able to clean up after efficiently - and I refer to my toddler, not my husband. Last time I didn't clean for six months and it was fine - things just got dusty. Now it looks like a tornado hit! But thankfully DH is stepping up to the plate and we are making it through. It's just going to be messy for a while. Another huge blessing is that my mom, who is in town helping us get our house ready, has agreed to step back from the house stuff and let my dad and DH handle that while she focuses a bit more on helping with DS and things over here. Praise God for that arrangement!
As I mentioned earlier, this is the end of the road reproductively for me. I know I said that with DS, but I am serious this time. I can't do this again. Not only would I risk HG again with another pregnancy (and the risk is not over with this one - far from it), but I am sick-sick-sick of living in fear. I'm tired of never being able to make long-term plans ("Well, I'd love to give her a baby shower/help with a wedding/join a committee/plan a visit, but I'd better not volunteer for it because if I got pregnant, I'd have to back out"). I'm tired of having to watch my diet and take supplements for the "what ifs" (to prepare in advance for pregnancy). And I am SICK and tired of living the last half of my cycle in breath-stopping fear. So I'm going to find out from my midwife what our options are, and do that as soon as is humanly possible after the birth. I'm sorry to end my reproductive life so young, but it is simply not worth living in the fear.
Speaking of my midwife, I spoke to her yesterday, and her comment on the possibility of finding a supportive OB outside of the two she knows was, I believe, something along the lines of "Good luck!" along with a muffled snort of laughter. Sad, isn't it? American doctors are taught ACOG's party line of midwife-hatred waaaayyyy too well.
Well, I'd better go! Love to all!
Oh, and if you missed it, check out the entry below on the ongoing HG research project! HG mums, listen up!
HER Foundation and University of Southern California Collaboration - HG Study
I've just put a permanent link about this on my sidebar, but I wanted to add an entry as well. The HER Foundation (HyperEmesis Research) and USC (University of Southern California) are teaming up to do an HG research project to study the links between genetics and HG. If you have ever had HG, you can do future HG-mums a big favor by participating! It is super-simple. Just follow the links to get in touch with the researchers and learn more about the study. This is not effort-intensive and is very user-friendly. Please try to get involved!!
The researchers are also looking for mothers who have not had HG to serve as controls. So regardless of whether or not you've had HG, if you've had a baby you're eligible to help with this study!
The researchers are also looking for mothers who have not had HG to serve as controls. So regardless of whether or not you've had HG, if you've had a baby you're eligible to help with this study!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
6 weeks, 0 days: Ruffling Feathers
Congratulate me, everyone! I've just been kicked out of an OB's office. I feel deliciously wicked.
But also disappointed.
Anyhow, here's how it happened: Yesterday I posted on mamasource.com to find OB's who were experienced in treating HG. One woman wrote and said that she had had HG and that her practice ("practice X") had been just great in treating her. So I called them up yesterday and spent about half an hour on the phone getting my situation approved to work with their practice. (Note: The difficult thing about my situation is that since I have a prenatal care provider, my midwife, I don't need prenatal care - just help with HG. Unfortunately, a lot of OB's just won't take you as a client unless you're also there for prenatal care.) After the receptionist had spoken with a supervisor, gotten my situation approved, and put a note about it on my chart, we set up an appointment for today.
Fast forward to today: I go in, things go swimmingly. Despite the usual indignities of OB care that I hate (having someone else do your urine test, for example - midwives have their clients do their own), I really liked them and I LOVED the OB. She didn't pull any punches. No "ginger and lemon." It was just straight down the line. "Okay, you're on Unisom, let's put you on Zofran as well (yes!!!), and if things get worse we'll set you up with a home healthcare nurse." Hurray!!!! But then disaster struck. She started talking prenatal labs, etc., so I had to interject: "You do know I'm not here for prenatal care, right? Just help with HG?" Then it all fell apart. She was really nice, but she said she couldn't work with me. She's going to check with people to make sure, so I'll find out for sure later, but for now it's over. Sarah, I know you warned me about this, but I just didn't want to go through all the prenatal tests and hide the fact that I have a midwife. If it keeps up like this, though, I may have to.
So.... Now what? Well, I've got two choices. I can go back to Dr. Ginger & Lemons, or I can try another doctor. Right now I'm too tired to decide. I'll try to talk to my midwife later today and see what she thinks. I would LOVE it if this practice would change their minds, because they are just what I need. However, it probably won't happen.
Lesson for the day: Do NOT take fish oil when you will be throwing up soon. Just DON'T.
Until later.....
But also disappointed.
Anyhow, here's how it happened: Yesterday I posted on mamasource.com to find OB's who were experienced in treating HG. One woman wrote and said that she had had HG and that her practice ("practice X") had been just great in treating her. So I called them up yesterday and spent about half an hour on the phone getting my situation approved to work with their practice. (Note: The difficult thing about my situation is that since I have a prenatal care provider, my midwife, I don't need prenatal care - just help with HG. Unfortunately, a lot of OB's just won't take you as a client unless you're also there for prenatal care.) After the receptionist had spoken with a supervisor, gotten my situation approved, and put a note about it on my chart, we set up an appointment for today.
Fast forward to today: I go in, things go swimmingly. Despite the usual indignities of OB care that I hate (having someone else do your urine test, for example - midwives have their clients do their own), I really liked them and I LOVED the OB. She didn't pull any punches. No "ginger and lemon." It was just straight down the line. "Okay, you're on Unisom, let's put you on Zofran as well (yes!!!), and if things get worse we'll set you up with a home healthcare nurse." Hurray!!!! But then disaster struck. She started talking prenatal labs, etc., so I had to interject: "You do know I'm not here for prenatal care, right? Just help with HG?" Then it all fell apart. She was really nice, but she said she couldn't work with me. She's going to check with people to make sure, so I'll find out for sure later, but for now it's over. Sarah, I know you warned me about this, but I just didn't want to go through all the prenatal tests and hide the fact that I have a midwife. If it keeps up like this, though, I may have to.
So.... Now what? Well, I've got two choices. I can go back to Dr. Ginger & Lemons, or I can try another doctor. Right now I'm too tired to decide. I'll try to talk to my midwife later today and see what she thinks. I would LOVE it if this practice would change their minds, because they are just what I need. However, it probably won't happen.
Lesson for the day: Do NOT take fish oil when you will be throwing up soon. Just DON'T.
Until later.....
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
5 weeks, 6 days: The Whining Puker Returns
Here I am again! I thought I'd update quickly in between runs to the bathroom. The Whining Puker is officially back in business.
After that weird 2 1/2 day hiatus of nausea, it returned full-force Monday afternoon. I started throwing up last night and am continuing the trend today. :)
My first move, other than to make a firm and final decision that this is my LAST PREGNANCY NO MATTER WHAT, was to decide to change OB's. Enough with the lemon and ginger, for crying out loud. So I've been on the phone this morning looking for possibilities, and I have an appointment for tomorrow morning. Whether it'll pan out or not is anyone's guess. I feel nervous because I am venturing outside of the world of midwife-friendly OB's, and I know that some of them can get quite vitriolic when they want to. Hopefully this one won't.
I'll check in after that appointment! Love to all!
Diana
After that weird 2 1/2 day hiatus of nausea, it returned full-force Monday afternoon. I started throwing up last night and am continuing the trend today. :)
My first move, other than to make a firm and final decision that this is my LAST PREGNANCY NO MATTER WHAT, was to decide to change OB's. Enough with the lemon and ginger, for crying out loud. So I've been on the phone this morning looking for possibilities, and I have an appointment for tomorrow morning. Whether it'll pan out or not is anyone's guess. I feel nervous because I am venturing outside of the world of midwife-friendly OB's, and I know that some of them can get quite vitriolic when they want to. Hopefully this one won't.
I'll check in after that appointment! Love to all!
Diana
Monday, January 5, 2009
5 weeks, 4 days: Still waiting
And the journey continues!Nothing either way yet. I have an appointment for an ultrasound on Friday, so hopefully our questions will be answered then. Till then, it's just more waiting!
Things are definitely weird right now. I'm not really counting myself as "pregnant" anymore, or telling people about it, and I've pretty much canceled my due date in my mind. If it turns out that everything is fine after all, I'll have to get used to the whole thing all over again!
DH, as usual, is playing the complete optimist - something that I always find fault with in stressful situations. I'm the hard-headed realist; he is the unthinking optimist. So he just says, "I'm sure everything's fine!" and doesn't think another thing about it, while I'm wondering and talking and obsessing and exploring twenty different end-scenarios. He'd rather talk about his new motorcycle. Isn't that always the case?
I did think of one slight possibility which is so ridiculous that I'm not seriously entertaining it, but I thought I'd better mention it. On Friday I started taking an herbal preparation (tinctures and essential oils) called "Morning Sickness Balm." It was supposed to have effects within 24 hours. If it is a miraculous cure-all for nausea, then it might have been the reason I stopped needing nausea drugs on Saturday. Might be. But I doubt it. And the evidence is still stacked for a blighted ovum pregnancy. But it's a possibility! As I said, Friday should tell us all.
I'll check back in over the week and let you all know how things are going! I appreciate your kind thoughts and words and prayers - I need them all!
Love to all,
Diana
Things are definitely weird right now. I'm not really counting myself as "pregnant" anymore, or telling people about it, and I've pretty much canceled my due date in my mind. If it turns out that everything is fine after all, I'll have to get used to the whole thing all over again!
DH, as usual, is playing the complete optimist - something that I always find fault with in stressful situations. I'm the hard-headed realist; he is the unthinking optimist. So he just says, "I'm sure everything's fine!" and doesn't think another thing about it, while I'm wondering and talking and obsessing and exploring twenty different end-scenarios. He'd rather talk about his new motorcycle. Isn't that always the case?
I did think of one slight possibility which is so ridiculous that I'm not seriously entertaining it, but I thought I'd better mention it. On Friday I started taking an herbal preparation (tinctures and essential oils) called "Morning Sickness Balm." It was supposed to have effects within 24 hours. If it is a miraculous cure-all for nausea, then it might have been the reason I stopped needing nausea drugs on Saturday. Might be. But I doubt it. And the evidence is still stacked for a blighted ovum pregnancy. But it's a possibility! As I said, Friday should tell us all.
I'll check back in over the week and let you all know how things are going! I appreciate your kind thoughts and words and prayers - I need them all!
Love to all,
Diana
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