Something weird is happening.... All the babies at church who were born around the time that Caleb was born are now getting siblings. How weird is THAT? I feel a combination of incredulity, envy and amazement.
We had a huge rash of babies the year that Caleb was born at our church - about eight, to be specific - which was nothing short of amazing, considering that we only have about a hundred people at our church! (I'm also counting the pastor's daughter, who attends a different church.) And if we counted grandbabies (whose mums aren't connected at the church), that number would more than double!! But of those babies, let's see..... one mum is open to another, two are done (but had babies again when their first babies were C's age), one is done involuntarily (hubbie abandoned them), one just had another baby (wow!!!), and two are pregnant!!! And the three that are/were pregnant had babies at least six months to a year younger than Caleb. Wow!!!
After experiencing childbirth, my first thought was that women, as a species, must be first-class chumps to ever be willing to do it again. I still maintain that thought, but the sad fact is that I have joined that class of forgetful women - I'd be willing to do it again too. First of all, I'd like a chance to do a better job at labor. I don't think I did that great of a job. Now that I know what it's really like, I want to take a proper childbirth class (Bradley or the like) and practice like HECK. I also want to get another doula (I loved my doula, but I want one who is much more intensely involved -I probably should have told her that, but I didn't know until afterwards). I'm also excited about trying for a waterbirth this time (didn't quite make it last time - got out for the last hour or so). Also, second babies have a reputation for being fast!!! So maybe I wouldn't have to repeat the whole 18-hour thing. That, and we absolutely adore our midwife, so we love spending time with her, and she is so awesome at births. I love her non-interference and the fact that she made gentle suggestions rather than commands. I didn't have to fight off nurses with pain control, IV's, directed pushing, electronic fetal monitoring and all that nonsense. But that's the subject of another blog!!
So anyway, childbirth does make me somewhat nervous to consider again, but I am also somewhat excited about doing it again. What really, really, really scares me is the possibility of HG again. I don't think anyone ever says that she wants another chance to get severe food poisoning and "do a better job at it." Like heck!!! The thought of recurrence is enough to give me the beginning of a panic attack. But frankly, I don't think anyone who hasn't been there can really understand the despair and the hopelessness. I could just sit here talking all day and it still wouldn't really resonate with people. We need a medication that could replicate HG for a day! That way when someone says, "Oh come on, we've all had morning sickness," we could say, "Mm hmm. Try this and see what you think." But enough negativity.
Moving on, I can only say that I am really impressed by the number of women who are willing to jump back in to the pregnancy journey after doing it so recently. Hats off to them! Seriously, though... On a practical note, I don't know how they do it. I'm so tired all the time now just with one toddler!!! I don't know how I would do it with a toddler and a newborn.
Well, as usual I have a ton to say, but the clock is ticking and I have a TON that needs to be done before our little guy gets up. It'll have to wait!!!
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