We have now been gone from our church for six months - how the time has flown! I miss it dreadfully, but am doing my best not to think about it too much and to focus on the future.
Anyhow, when we first left, we automatically started attending the church where I have done women's ministries for many years, and we thought we'd end up there. However, over the past few months, we decided that we wanted to start looking again. There were numerous reasons, a big one of which was that DH couldn't stand the militant Calvinism. Our former church was also Calvinist, but in a gentler, background sort of way so that people of many beliefs in the Calvinist/Arminian spectrum could attend comfortably. Not so this church! They are more along the lines of: "Thank you for attending this morning! You were elected to be here. Please greet one another and then join us in reciting the Doctrines of Grace. The non-elect may leave before the sermon."
Okay, it wasn't that bad - but they are overtly, obviously, constantly Calvinist, and DH couldn't take it anymore! We're both in the middle on the spectrum, so militant Calvinism isn't really for us. There were other factors too, so we decided to start looking.
So far, we've seen three churches:
(1) Large (~800) Baptist church. My first time ever in a Baptist church. Great pipe organ, choir, orchestra, and we also found some friends of ours there. The downside: A choir director who feels the need to give speeches before every song (and since they only sang 1-2 verse of each hymn, it meant that worship was mostly speeches!), and a bit too formal for me. Having spent most of my Christian life in California-surfer-type churches, the suit-and-tie atmosphere was a bit intimidating. But we might try it again.
(2) Moderate-sized (~150) Presbyterian church. My first time ever in a Presbyterian church! Good, solid theology - no complaints there. Downside - possibly a bit dull, and the music was very basic.
(3) Large (1000+) ultra-modern mini-megachurch. Modern music, ultra-casual dress, etc.
My conclusions?
First of all, I'm not a fan of church shopping with kids. Without kids, it was kind of fun. With kids, it's much more difficult, in knowing that constantly flopping from church to church is unsettling for the kidlets - esp. since our eldest DS is going through a rather puzzling "But I don't wanna go to church!" phase. So beside dealing with that, we're also dealing with trying to find something that suits both us, as adults, and our kids. We can't go to a church that DS hates and dreads, no matter how much we like it.
We've decided to camp at church #3 for a few weeks to see how it goes - for us and for DS. We liked it a lot, with a couple of reservations, so we're going to see if it's a keeper or not. If not, we'll hit the road again.
Have a great night, all!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Week #2 Task Postscript
As I planned, I got out our wedding pictures and looked over them with DH tonight. So much fun to remember! Even with an energetic 4yo looking on, whose main concern seemed to be about the wedding cake and when he could have some. :)
But WHOA - I only got married 7 years ago! I had no idea how much we'd aged! Yikes! And also how much weight we'd both gained! (*Ahem*) Ah well... guess we're becoming an old married couple. There are worse things.
Additionally, on a more depressing note, I was amazed to see how many couples were at our wedding who are now divorced. So sad. I counted at least six couples who are now divorced, not to mention all the dating couples who broke up (that's expected), and a considerable number of people who have died. Frankly, being at our wedding was apparently not a healthful exercise - physically or relationally!
Task #2 - now completed!
But WHOA - I only got married 7 years ago! I had no idea how much we'd aged! Yikes! And also how much weight we'd both gained! (*Ahem*) Ah well... guess we're becoming an old married couple. There are worse things.
Additionally, on a more depressing note, I was amazed to see how many couples were at our wedding who are now divorced. So sad. I counted at least six couples who are now divorced, not to mention all the dating couples who broke up (that's expected), and a considerable number of people who have died. Frankly, being at our wedding was apparently not a healthful exercise - physically or relationally!
Task #2 - now completed!
Vintage Morning Sickness
Jill at The Unnecesarean (one of my favorite birth blogs!) posted this ad and accompanying article (1959), with her commentary, on the anti-nausea drug Mornidine (Pipamazine) - a drug I'd never heard of!
Mornidine: Now She Can Cook Breakfast Again
This is not of any interest for modern morning sickness help - just an interesting glimpse into the past. Enjoy!
Mornidine: Now She Can Cook Breakfast Again
This is not of any interest for modern morning sickness help - just an interesting glimpse into the past. Enjoy!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Morning Sickness Tips
These just in:
From Enjoy Birth: A sheet of tips posted by a mama who wrote down all the morning sickness helps that worked for her:
Miserable with Morning Sickness?
From my friend Jen, who is now SEVEN WEEKS with their precious little embryo adoption babies:
List of Morning Sickness Helps
Love seeing resources out there!
From Enjoy Birth: A sheet of tips posted by a mama who wrote down all the morning sickness helps that worked for her:
Miserable with Morning Sickness?
From my friend Jen, who is now SEVEN WEEKS with their precious little embryo adoption babies:
List of Morning Sickness Helps
Love seeing resources out there!
Completing Him Challenge: Task #2
Week #2 Task - And I'm only two days late! :)
"June 14 – Post Pictures from your dating days (or tell us all about it!). Think about one thing you used to do or have as a couple that you have lost in the shuffle of life. How can you regain it?"
She elaborates:
"Purpose this week to do something that reminds your husband of the youthful wife you once were - maybe it's wearing something you know he loves on you (remember we dressed to please back in those dating days!), go somewhere you both used to enjoy going together - alone!, look at photos together of the "good ol' days", watch a favorite movie, or just simply sit together talking, listening, dreaming, holding hands, rubbing his back, and simply paying attention to the amazing husband of your youth! Treasure him this week!"
Boy, is it easy to forget romance and relationship once kids arrive. Oh, my goodness, it's amazing how fast all that stuff goes out the window. Even though I swore it never would. Round-the-clock insane busyness, constant exhaustion, the never-ending needs of babies and small children - I completely understand how marital romance is lost once little ones arrive. Before I got married I read all those Christian marriage books and swore that I would always be the perfect, romantic wife who met her husband's every need and never forgot the romance. And now? Hmm... well, I do my best to be dressed when my husband gets home and to be reasonably cheerful, but - romance? Our last "official" date night was... hmm..... well, it was so long ago that I can't remember it! Oh yes, I think it was about a year ago. The one before that was multiple years prior.
The lesson? Keeping a marriage healthy after kids is HARD! That is why I need this challenge!
So, our dating story:
I actually saw my husband about six months before I met him. He was playing Judas in a Passion Play at our town's local megachurch, and for some reason I went to see the show. (The show, by the way, was an awesome show - it was The Masterpiece by Keith Ward, with music to die for that I still listen to around Easter. You can see a picture of my DH as Judas if you click here and scroll down to "Judas Remembers". The pictures on the site are of the first run of the show (DH was in it three times) at the church where I saw it.). He did a great job!
Six months later, a friend of mine, Becky, invited me to her annual Halloween/Harvest party. I went, even though I was desperately behind in my organic chemistry work, and I also had a new liturgy to learn to play in the morning at my church where I was the organist. I dressed like a farmer - the only thing I could throw together last minute without going shopping! I showed up on time, and, as Becky hangs with the theatrical crowd, I was therefore the only one there for the first 30 minutes! So we got to hang out in the bounce house and chat for a while, and had a lovely time catching up. Becky and I had been friendly acquaintances in high school, but our friendship really blossomed after graduation, when we were each attending different colleges. (There's a reason for that, but that's a whole different story! Suffice it to say that it was the most interesting love quadrangle you've ever seen. No, make that a love quint-angle.).
Anyhow, after that, the second guest arrived, and lo and behold, it was "Judas"! Becky said "I'd like you to meet my friend Joe," and so we were introduced. Our conversation that night was very basic and brief, but I did go home rather smitten, as, I found out later, did he. And I don't even believe in love at first sight! :)
Our acquaintance continued to unfold over the next month. The next time I saw him was when we both showed up (unknowingly) at Becky's choir concert. The three of us spent the evening after the concert talking together at a Denny's (a horrible, filthy, disgusting Denny's - please don't ever go there!) and having a wonderful time despite the revolting ambiance and the deplorable service. After that, we both had an excuse to see the other, through our mutual friend Becky, and so we got to know each other. Becky eventually acted as our go-between, and Joe asked me out officially the week before Thanksgiving.
We dated for a year and a half before getting engaged, and then were engaged for one year before getting married. So many fun memories!
Our courtship was not, however, always a bed of roses. My mom disapproved of me marrying "young," and of my marrying a man who had not graduated from college and whose income was not stellar. There were plenty of fights and lots of tension in the house. As a matter of fact, one of the worst fights I ever had with my mom was the night Joe and I got engaged, because she found out (through a slip-up) that I was considering going to culinary school instead of getting my Master's Degree, which had been my original plan though I had little interest in it. As a result of that, we never ended up telling my parents that we had gotten engaged. What a weekend - that would make for a story in itself.
Additionally, I was in the process of discovering my Christian faith, and Joe was a bit back-slidden in his faith at the time - which created its own set of complications. Our debates and conversation, though, were a great growing exercise for my faith, as was the clash between his ultra-Pentecostal and my Lutheran upbringings.
Anyhow, we got married at a lovely little Lutheran church - not my own church, which was too small (and ugly!) to get married in, and then went on a 10-day camping honeymoon up the coast of California - Joe's first encounter with camping! We had a great time. Shortly thereafter, we moved one state away to our new home in Arizona, and have been here ever since. Marriage, like all post-high-school experiences, has been an intense growing experience and an ever-present source of surprises and challenges. What a time it has been!
Okay, that was fun! Now I have to think of something "dating-days"-ish to do - I think I'll get out our wedding photo book to look through with hubbie. That should be fun!
Second week's challenge - CHECK!
"June 14 – Post Pictures from your dating days (or tell us all about it!). Think about one thing you used to do or have as a couple that you have lost in the shuffle of life. How can you regain it?"
She elaborates:
"Purpose this week to do something that reminds your husband of the youthful wife you once were - maybe it's wearing something you know he loves on you (remember we dressed to please back in those dating days!), go somewhere you both used to enjoy going together - alone!, look at photos together of the "good ol' days", watch a favorite movie, or just simply sit together talking, listening, dreaming, holding hands, rubbing his back, and simply paying attention to the amazing husband of your youth! Treasure him this week!"
Boy, is it easy to forget romance and relationship once kids arrive. Oh, my goodness, it's amazing how fast all that stuff goes out the window. Even though I swore it never would. Round-the-clock insane busyness, constant exhaustion, the never-ending needs of babies and small children - I completely understand how marital romance is lost once little ones arrive. Before I got married I read all those Christian marriage books and swore that I would always be the perfect, romantic wife who met her husband's every need and never forgot the romance. And now? Hmm... well, I do my best to be dressed when my husband gets home and to be reasonably cheerful, but - romance? Our last "official" date night was... hmm..... well, it was so long ago that I can't remember it! Oh yes, I think it was about a year ago. The one before that was multiple years prior.
The lesson? Keeping a marriage healthy after kids is HARD! That is why I need this challenge!
So, our dating story:
I actually saw my husband about six months before I met him. He was playing Judas in a Passion Play at our town's local megachurch, and for some reason I went to see the show. (The show, by the way, was an awesome show - it was The Masterpiece by Keith Ward, with music to die for that I still listen to around Easter. You can see a picture of my DH as Judas if you click here and scroll down to "Judas Remembers". The pictures on the site are of the first run of the show (DH was in it three times) at the church where I saw it.). He did a great job!
Six months later, a friend of mine, Becky, invited me to her annual Halloween/Harvest party. I went, even though I was desperately behind in my organic chemistry work, and I also had a new liturgy to learn to play in the morning at my church where I was the organist. I dressed like a farmer - the only thing I could throw together last minute without going shopping! I showed up on time, and, as Becky hangs with the theatrical crowd, I was therefore the only one there for the first 30 minutes! So we got to hang out in the bounce house and chat for a while, and had a lovely time catching up. Becky and I had been friendly acquaintances in high school, but our friendship really blossomed after graduation, when we were each attending different colleges. (There's a reason for that, but that's a whole different story! Suffice it to say that it was the most interesting love quadrangle you've ever seen. No, make that a love quint-angle.).
Anyhow, after that, the second guest arrived, and lo and behold, it was "Judas"! Becky said "I'd like you to meet my friend Joe," and so we were introduced. Our conversation that night was very basic and brief, but I did go home rather smitten, as, I found out later, did he. And I don't even believe in love at first sight! :)
Our acquaintance continued to unfold over the next month. The next time I saw him was when we both showed up (unknowingly) at Becky's choir concert. The three of us spent the evening after the concert talking together at a Denny's (a horrible, filthy, disgusting Denny's - please don't ever go there!) and having a wonderful time despite the revolting ambiance and the deplorable service. After that, we both had an excuse to see the other, through our mutual friend Becky, and so we got to know each other. Becky eventually acted as our go-between, and Joe asked me out officially the week before Thanksgiving.
We dated for a year and a half before getting engaged, and then were engaged for one year before getting married. So many fun memories!
Our courtship was not, however, always a bed of roses. My mom disapproved of me marrying "young," and of my marrying a man who had not graduated from college and whose income was not stellar. There were plenty of fights and lots of tension in the house. As a matter of fact, one of the worst fights I ever had with my mom was the night Joe and I got engaged, because she found out (through a slip-up) that I was considering going to culinary school instead of getting my Master's Degree, which had been my original plan though I had little interest in it. As a result of that, we never ended up telling my parents that we had gotten engaged. What a weekend - that would make for a story in itself.
Additionally, I was in the process of discovering my Christian faith, and Joe was a bit back-slidden in his faith at the time - which created its own set of complications. Our debates and conversation, though, were a great growing exercise for my faith, as was the clash between his ultra-Pentecostal and my Lutheran upbringings.
Anyhow, we got married at a lovely little Lutheran church - not my own church, which was too small (and ugly!) to get married in, and then went on a 10-day camping honeymoon up the coast of California - Joe's first encounter with camping! We had a great time. Shortly thereafter, we moved one state away to our new home in Arizona, and have been here ever since. Marriage, like all post-high-school experiences, has been an intense growing experience and an ever-present source of surprises and challenges. What a time it has been!
Okay, that was fun! Now I have to think of something "dating-days"-ish to do - I think I'll get out our wedding photo book to look through with hubbie. That should be fun!
Second week's challenge - CHECK!
Monday, June 14, 2010
An Uncertain Birth Future
A few days ago, I received the rather upsetting news that our midwife, due to a new practice partner, will not be able to accept the bartering arrangement by which we have "paid" for our two births (we've done computer services for birth services). The question now: Where does that leave us in case of another surprise baby?
Here are some of the options I can think of (good and bad lumped together):
(1) Pay cash - nearly impossible, as our finances can be described by the term "shoestring"
(2) Traditional OB care and hospital birth - Not even an option.
(3) Traditional OB care with "oops!" unassisted homebirth
(4) Unassisted pregnancy and birth
(5) Trying to find a midwife with discounted prices for bartering or using a senior student as primary caregiver
(6) If my husband changes jobs, hoping that homebirth will be covered by a new insurance. Or using a "flex spending account" - not quite sure what that is, or if it's an option.
***
While I completely support a woman's right to UC (unassisted childbirth), I'm not comfortable with it for myself, for three reasons: (1) I know quite a bit about birth, but my husband does not; and a woman in labor is not the best midwife in the world, (2) something could easily happen outside of our ability to handle it, (3) both of our babies have had a hard time at the end of labor, especially our last, who required some resuscitation and suctioning. Not fun to handle solo.
However, at the very least it looks like we might have to face the chance of losing our midwife. I guess we'd live through it, but we are really bonded with her and would hate to lose her. Kind of an upsetting transition!
Of course, this is all entirely theoretical. We have not yet come to a peaceful answer to the "Are we done or not?" question regarding childbearing. But I'm one of those uptight people who likes to have theoretical future situations resolved in advance, even if they may never materialize! So here is yet another question for us to ponder.
Here are some of the options I can think of (good and bad lumped together):
(1) Pay cash - nearly impossible, as our finances can be described by the term "shoestring"
(2) Traditional OB care and hospital birth - Not even an option.
(3) Traditional OB care with "oops!" unassisted homebirth
(4) Unassisted pregnancy and birth
(5) Trying to find a midwife with discounted prices for bartering or using a senior student as primary caregiver
(6) If my husband changes jobs, hoping that homebirth will be covered by a new insurance. Or using a "flex spending account" - not quite sure what that is, or if it's an option.
***
While I completely support a woman's right to UC (unassisted childbirth), I'm not comfortable with it for myself, for three reasons: (1) I know quite a bit about birth, but my husband does not; and a woman in labor is not the best midwife in the world, (2) something could easily happen outside of our ability to handle it, (3) both of our babies have had a hard time at the end of labor, especially our last, who required some resuscitation and suctioning. Not fun to handle solo.
However, at the very least it looks like we might have to face the chance of losing our midwife. I guess we'd live through it, but we are really bonded with her and would hate to lose her. Kind of an upsetting transition!
Of course, this is all entirely theoretical. We have not yet come to a peaceful answer to the "Are we done or not?" question regarding childbearing. But I'm one of those uptight people who likes to have theoretical future situations resolved in advance, even if they may never materialize! So here is yet another question for us to ponder.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Doing a Summer Challenge
I found this randomly in a blog I just started following:
Completing Him Summer Challenge
And on a lark, I decided to do it! It looks easy, helpful, and not very time-consuming, so it shouldn't be hard to keep up with (though with my blogging skills, I'm sure I'll manage to be late with most of the tasks). And I can't figure out how to do the button (my button skills are weak lately), so I'll just have to leave the link. But in the meantime, it should be fun!
This week's task: "June 7 - announce to your readers you are participating by posting the button on your site and leaving your link below. Optional: Embed the HTML from this video in your blog post!" As far as I can complete that, I have. Check!
I've been meaning to do a "life update" for the past month or so, so I'll hope to do that soon. I really need to learn how to do short and sweet updates rather than saving everything for the great-American-novel type of update - my blogging life could improve if I could learn that skill! In the meantime, enjoy your summer! (Personally, I'm just counting the days till summer is over.... I am SO not a heat fat!)
Completing Him Summer Challenge
And on a lark, I decided to do it! It looks easy, helpful, and not very time-consuming, so it shouldn't be hard to keep up with (though with my blogging skills, I'm sure I'll manage to be late with most of the tasks). And I can't figure out how to do the button (my button skills are weak lately), so I'll just have to leave the link. But in the meantime, it should be fun!
This week's task: "June 7 - announce to your readers you are participating by posting the button on your site and leaving your link below. Optional: Embed the HTML from this video in your blog post!" As far as I can complete that, I have. Check!
I've been meaning to do a "life update" for the past month or so, so I'll hope to do that soon. I really need to learn how to do short and sweet updates rather than saving everything for the great-American-novel type of update - my blogging life could improve if I could learn that skill! In the meantime, enjoy your summer! (Personally, I'm just counting the days till summer is over.... I am SO not a heat fat!)
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