Last week I heard from a one-time HG mama who is considering trying for another babe, and I am thrilled to introduce her blog to you:
Memoirs and Musings
I spent some time last night reading through her entries - great stuff. If you go back a few pages, you can read some entries written during her first pregnancy as she deals with HG, and more recent entries deal with her spiritual struggles following HG and her thoughts for planning an upcoming pregnancy.
Have you ever happened upon blog entries that you feel you could have written yourself? I do so occasionally, and this was one of those times - especially on entries like this one that deal with post-HG spiritual fallout (from a Christian perspective). My experience has been almost identical, and to be perfectly honest, I am still dealing with it. That sounds ridiculous, considering that my HG baby is now more than five years old - how long do I need to get over this, anyway? - but the spiritual struggles following HG have, for me, been extremely intense. I still have struggles with trusting God. I still deal with anger. And fear. And more fear. And I didn't even have severe HG, like most of you mamas out there have, so I don't even know where I'd be if I was in those shoes!
For me, HG has been the single most intense experience of my life. It has produced the most spiritual growth in my life - big, big, BIG time - I should write about that sometime, if I haven't already - and it has also produced the greatest crisis of faith. Quite definitely a "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" type of faith crisis. I haven't written a lot about faith and HG lately - maybe I'll get into it more. But it is really nice to have other mamas out there with whom I can share the experience of having one's faith shaken to the core by HG.
And, oddly enough, I have met Christian HG mamas whose faith was not the least bit affected by HG. Even women whose HG was of a near-death type. They simply relied on God and moved on. What faith! I wish I had that unquestioning faith, but it is quite clear that I don't. (My husband does, but not me!) Very interesting to see the different ways in which HG hits different women.
Anyhow! Geneva, welcome to the HG blogosphere; we would be thrilled to cheer you through your next pregnancy!