Joining the one club I did not wish to join (Books Lately, July 2023)

This past month, I joined the one club that I did not wish to join - that cohort of people who have lost a parent to death. My father died, after a short and intense illness, in the first week of October.

I have been dreading this moment for over twenty years, and it really was as bad as I thought it would be. The Lord carried us through, but it was rough.

In many ways, I think that I unconsciously saw it coming for quite some time - perhaps as much as a year or a year and a half. My father recently reached the five-year mark from his stage 4 cancer diagnosis (putting him in the less-than-ten-percent survival likelihood category), and this was a major milestone. 

But he simply wasn't looking well, or acting normally. And he seemed to be aging rapidly - thinner, more delicate, less energetic, less talkative. I'd noticed this, and been concerned about it, but had hoped that it was just him feeling tired after radiation therapy. 

When it all came crashing down last week, then, it was a surprise and not a surprise at the same time. However, it was all over so incredibly quickly. (Time of terminal prognosis to death: 10 hours.) I think we are all still in shock.

I will share my thoughts on all of this a bit later. But for now, thank you to those of us who were praying for us last month, and to those of you who are always so kind and supportive to our family. It's been a long month.

And now, let's share a few books:

Pygmalion (George Bernard Shaw) – Drama, humor.

I had always thought that the film "My Fair Lady" was based on a book, but in reading this I found that nope, it was actually written as a dramatic script from the first. Thus, reading this book is the same as reading the movie script - plus more dialogue, and minus the songs. A wonderful read!

For those who enjoy "My Fair Lady," try the film "Pygmalion," which is an excellent earlier and non-musical film version of the play. We enjoy it just as much - sometimes more! - than "My Fair Lady," the musical numbers of which can sometimes feel a tad on the interminable, wonderful as they are. (Is that heresy?)

The Checklist Manifesto: How To Get Things Right (Atul Gawande) - Non-fiction.

After discovering this author and enjoying one of his books so much, I ran straight to my library website and borrowed every other of his books that they had in the catalogue. Enter "The Checklist Manifesto" - a book written in praise of the humble checklist.

At first glance - what? A book about checklists? Have we entered into the last stages of banality and insanity?

But wait, there's more to it than that. Checklists are immensely important - far more important than we know - and they play intensely important roles in saving lives and making complicated multi-person multi-step processes end with success rather than catastrophe.

The book covers the uses of checklists in several major arenas - primarily medicine (especially patient care and surgery), aviation, architecture, and finance. The stories that illustrate the points are fascinating and illustrate the point that the author makes - that checklists are a simply but essential tool in the hands of professionals in all fields.

I was surprised that the author did not include an application into the everyday - that is, how checklists could be useful in day-to-day life for the average person. No such application was made. However, I think that it would not be difficult for the reader to make that translation from professional life into private life - regardless of the particular situation, checklists are awesome.

As a side note, when this past month's situation with my father's health crisis crashed down upon us, I was very thankful that I had, several months previously, read the author's Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End. You can read my review of that book here. In short, the book covers elder care, healthcare in challenging situations, and end-of-life care. As I wrote in my review, 

"I enjoyed this book thoroughly, and recommend it to all, because the material is pertinent to all. All of us will have loved ones getting older or in end-of-life situations, and all of us will one day face the same situation for ourselves. Although the topic is uncomfortable, it's good to think about it before one is in the thick of decision-making and difficult choices."

When I wrote those lines, I had no idea that a few short weeks later, we would be facing end-of-life care decisions for my father. Thankfully, there weren't too many decisions to make - it was very straightforward. The cancer was back, it had spread, and there was really nothing that could be done. (We did have a surgeon coming in to discuss a last-ditch surgical solution attempt - as it turns out, his visit was only about three or four hours before my father's death. Thankfully they didn't press for it.) But it was good to have the material already in my head. 

All of this has really brought to mind the fact that it's so important to make end-of-life decisions, and understand end-of-life issues, before they are staring you in the face. Downsizing, making a will, choosing a burial location, etc. - all of that is so important. And some of that we have not yet done ourselves, so I am preaching to myself as well as to my audience.

I highly recommend both books! 

 

Up From Slavery (Book T. Washington) – Autobiography.

This book is the autobiography of Booker T. Washington, starting with his birth and childhood in slavery, his family's transition to freedom after emancipation, his search for education, and his eventual transformation into the patron of the Tuskegee Institute, a school and vocational training school for black young people.

The pace of the book is gentle and slow. Some find it too slow, but I enjoyed it greatly. It is a careful and painstaking work that is careful in recording historical details and the author's thoughts. I did find the ending chapters, which dealt mostly with Washington's speaking duties, a tad on the uninteresting side - but on the whole, it was excellent.

I also very much respected how Washington maintained loving relationships with both black and white citizens. He refused to be drawn into the "us vs. them" mentality. This is, to my mind, highly praiseworthy. 

I highly recommend this work! 

Thank You, Jeeves (P.G. Wodehouse) - Fiction, humor. 

A month without Jeeves & Wooster is, by definition, a wasted month. This was my preventative measure against wasting the month of July! (As always, highly recommended.)

What books have you all read this month, dear readers? If you have any to recommend, let me know!

Film Corner

Recently, I have been having our family watch movie versions of some of the books that our high schooler read during the past school year. Last month, we worked our way through two versions of Jane Austen's "Emma" - the two 1996 versions, to be specific.

Here is the Kate Beckinsale 1996 version:

And here is the Gwyneth Paltrow 1996 trailer (sorry, all, couldn't find the full film):

To my infinite surprise and pleasure, the 17yo immediate said that he preferred the Kate Beckinsale version. In fact, for several weeks he went about going into long speeches on the subject, which I found most amusing. 

I actually enjoy both of these versions, and have seen them both many, many times (back from the days when my husband and I actually had time to watch television by ourselves). However, I have come to prefer the Beckinsale version, due to (1) historicity, (2) lack of imported modern dogmas, (3) more subtlety and nuance of character and writing. Additionally, I find that in the Paltrow version almost every sentence seems to be covertly telling the presumably unread viewer something that he or she would be incapable of otherwise knowing or finding out individually. (Example: Emma says: "Mr. Knightly, how is your brother treating my sister?" Lesson for viewer: Emma and Mr. Knightly are in-laws by marriage. I wouldn't mind an occasional foray into lines such as this, but they seem to abound over and above what is necessary. Watch for it, and you'll see what I mean.)

I would love to hear your views on the different Jane Austen films out there. I know there are so many good ones! (And some really bad ones.) Which are your favorites? Which do you recommend?

Musical Notes

Have you all heard of the YouTube musician Julian Neel? He specializes in barbershop and other wonderful four-part harmony numbers. We especially enjoy his early-1900s pieces. Here are a few to get you started:

  

From the Kitchen

This month I made a chocolate peanut butter pie for my husband's birthday - it's one of his favorites, and we all love it. 

For the chocolate graham crust, I ran into a snag - Walmart has apparently stopped carrying chocolate graham crackers. Crumbs! But hastened I to the internet, to find, as I suspected, that one could indeed make a chocolate graham crust out of plain graham crackers. Voila! Give it a try. 

After making the crust, I first fill the pie with a recipe of homemade chocolate pudding. (This is delicious, and helps to make a bigger pie to feed a crowd.) 

After the pudding layer has chilled, I use this peanut butter pie filling for the top layer. The recipe uses only eight ounces of whipped topping in the peanut butter mixture - this time I used 12 ounces to use up a complete container and also make a bigger pie, and it was a success. I also reduced the powdered sugar by half, and that too was a success. 

I find that with most American desserts I can drop the sugar by one-quarter to one-third without the composition suffering - sometimes even by a half! People really don't notice, and we all get less sugar - what's not to love?

The expression of a cat who senses an approaching toddler. "Oh, no, I'm in for it now!"

Have a wonderful month, dear reader! Pray for me, as I pray for you!