Joining the one club I did not wish to join (Books Lately, July 2023)

This past month, I joined the one club that I did not wish to join - that cohort of people who have lost a parent to death. My father died, after a short and intense illness, in the first week of October.

I have been dreading this moment for over twenty years, and it really was as bad as I thought it would be. The Lord carried us through, but it was rough.

In many ways, I think that I unconsciously saw it coming for quite some time - perhaps as much as a year or a year and a half. My father recently reached the five-year mark from his stage 4 cancer diagnosis (putting him in the less-than-ten-percent survival likelihood category), and this was a major milestone. 

But he simply wasn't looking well, or acting normally. And he seemed to be aging rapidly - thinner, more delicate, less energetic, less talkative. I'd noticed this, and been concerned about it, but had hoped that it was just him feeling tired after radiation therapy. 

When it all came crashing down last week, then, it was a surprise and not a surprise at the same time. However, it was all over so incredibly quickly. (Time of terminal prognosis to death: 10 hours.) I think we are all still in shock.

I will share my thoughts on all of this a bit later. But for now, thank you to those of us who were praying for us last month, and to those of you who are always so kind and supportive to our family. It's been a long month.

And now, let's share a few books:

Pygmalion (George Bernard Shaw) – Drama, humor.

I had always thought that the film "My Fair Lady" was based on a book, but in reading this I found that nope, it was actually written as a dramatic script from the first. Thus, reading this book is the same as reading the movie script - plus more dialogue, and minus the songs. A wonderful read!

For those who enjoy "My Fair Lady," try the film "Pygmalion," which is an excellent earlier and non-musical film version of the play. We enjoy it just as much - sometimes more! - than "My Fair Lady," the musical numbers of which can sometimes feel a tad on the interminable, wonderful as they are. (Is that heresy?)

The Checklist Manifesto: How To Get Things Right (Atul Gawande) - Non-fiction.

After discovering this author and enjoying one of his books so much, I ran straight to my library website and borrowed every other of his books that they had in the catalogue. Enter "The Checklist Manifesto" - a book written in praise of the humble checklist.

At first glance - what? A book about checklists? Have we entered into the last stages of banality and insanity?

But wait, there's more to it than that. Checklists are immensely important - far more important than we know - and they play intensely important roles in saving lives and making complicated multi-person multi-step processes end with success rather than catastrophe.

The book covers the uses of checklists in several major arenas - primarily medicine (especially patient care and surgery), aviation, architecture, and finance. The stories that illustrate the points are fascinating and illustrate the point that the author makes - that checklists are a simply but essential tool in the hands of professionals in all fields.

I was surprised that the author did not include an application into the everyday - that is, how checklists could be useful in day-to-day life for the average person. No such application was made. However, I think that it would not be difficult for the reader to make that translation from professional life into private life - regardless of the particular situation, checklists are awesome.

As a side note, when this past month's situation with my father's health crisis crashed down upon us, I was very thankful that I had, several months previously, read the author's Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End. You can read my review of that book here. In short, the book covers elder care, healthcare in challenging situations, and end-of-life care. As I wrote in my review, 

"I enjoyed this book thoroughly, and recommend it to all, because the material is pertinent to all. All of us will have loved ones getting older or in end-of-life situations, and all of us will one day face the same situation for ourselves. Although the topic is uncomfortable, it's good to think about it before one is in the thick of decision-making and difficult choices."

When I wrote those lines, I had no idea that a few short weeks later, we would be facing end-of-life care decisions for my father. Thankfully, there weren't too many decisions to make - it was very straightforward. The cancer was back, it had spread, and there was really nothing that could be done. (We did have a surgeon coming in to discuss a last-ditch surgical solution attempt - as it turns out, his visit was only about three or four hours before my father's death. Thankfully they didn't press for it.) But it was good to have the material already in my head. 

All of this has really brought to mind the fact that it's so important to make end-of-life decisions, and understand end-of-life issues, before they are staring you in the face. Downsizing, making a will, choosing a burial location, etc. - all of that is so important. And some of that we have not yet done ourselves, so I am preaching to myself as well as to my audience.

I highly recommend both books! 

 

Up From Slavery (Book T. Washington) – Autobiography.

This book is the autobiography of Booker T. Washington, starting with his birth and childhood in slavery, his family's transition to freedom after emancipation, his search for education, and his eventual transformation into the patron of the Tuskegee Institute, a school and vocational training school for black young people.

The pace of the book is gentle and slow. Some find it too slow, but I enjoyed it greatly. It is a careful and painstaking work that is careful in recording historical details and the author's thoughts. I did find the ending chapters, which dealt mostly with Washington's speaking duties, a tad on the uninteresting side - but on the whole, it was excellent.

I also very much respected how Washington maintained loving relationships with both black and white citizens. He refused to be drawn into the "us vs. them" mentality. This is, to my mind, highly praiseworthy. 

I highly recommend this work! 

Thank You, Jeeves (P.G. Wodehouse) - Fiction, humor. 

A month without Jeeves & Wooster is, by definition, a wasted month. This was my preventative measure against wasting the month of July! (As always, highly recommended.)

What books have you all read this month, dear readers? If you have any to recommend, let me know!

Film Corner

Recently, I have been having our family watch movie versions of some of the books that our high schooler read during the past school year. Last month, we worked our way through two versions of Jane Austen's "Emma" - the two 1996 versions, to be specific.

Here is the Kate Beckinsale 1996 version:

And here is the Gwyneth Paltrow 1996 trailer (sorry, all, couldn't find the full film):

To my infinite surprise and pleasure, the 17yo immediate said that he preferred the Kate Beckinsale version. In fact, for several weeks he went about going into long speeches on the subject, which I found most amusing. 

I actually enjoy both of these versions, and have seen them both many, many times (back from the days when my husband and I actually had time to watch television by ourselves). However, I have come to prefer the Beckinsale version, due to (1) historicity, (2) lack of imported modern dogmas, (3) more subtlety and nuance of character and writing. Additionally, I find that in the Paltrow version almost every sentence seems to be covertly telling the presumably unread viewer something that he or she would be incapable of otherwise knowing or finding out individually. (Example: Emma says: "Mr. Knightly, how is your brother treating my sister?" Lesson for viewer: Emma and Mr. Knightly are in-laws by marriage. I wouldn't mind an occasional foray into lines such as this, but they seem to abound over and above what is necessary. Watch for it, and you'll see what I mean.)

I would love to hear your views on the different Jane Austen films out there. I know there are so many good ones! (And some really bad ones.) Which are your favorites? Which do you recommend?

Musical Notes

Have you all heard of the YouTube musician Julian Neel? He specializes in barbershop and other wonderful four-part harmony numbers. We especially enjoy his early-1900s pieces. Here are a few to get you started:

  

From the Kitchen

This month I made a chocolate peanut butter pie for my husband's birthday - it's one of his favorites, and we all love it. 

For the chocolate graham crust, I ran into a snag - Walmart has apparently stopped carrying chocolate graham crackers. Crumbs! But hastened I to the internet, to find, as I suspected, that one could indeed make a chocolate graham crust out of plain graham crackers. Voila! Give it a try. 

After making the crust, I first fill the pie with a recipe of homemade chocolate pudding. (This is delicious, and helps to make a bigger pie to feed a crowd.) 

After the pudding layer has chilled, I use this peanut butter pie filling for the top layer. The recipe uses only eight ounces of whipped topping in the peanut butter mixture - this time I used 12 ounces to use up a complete container and also make a bigger pie, and it was a success. I also reduced the powdered sugar by half, and that too was a success. 

I find that with most American desserts I can drop the sugar by one-quarter to one-third without the composition suffering - sometimes even by a half! People really don't notice, and we all get less sugar - what's not to love?

The expression of a cat who senses an approaching toddler. "Oh, no, I'm in for it now!"

Have a wonderful month, dear reader! Pray for me, as I pray for you!

In Which I Admit to Having a Problem (Books Lately, June 2023)

 

Yes, a serious problem. I even moved away, but the problem followed me. And so, the only solution is to admit my problem and hope for healing. Here it is...

I am hopelessly addicted to borrowing far more library books than I could ever read. 

Okay, maybe not strictly accurate. I do get around to most of them. But I certainly could stand to calm it down with the maxing-out-the-library-cards bit.

Here is my current waiting list (part of it, at least):

Current subjects of interest include the food and fast food industries, dietary sugar, classic children's books, European politics, and a dabbling in different areas of theology and family life. 

However, come to think of it, it's a good problem to have. So maybe I'll skip the Books-Anon meetings for now.

I am doing my best to catch up with these long-overdue posts, so let's get started with June's books!

For Teens & Adults

The Great Divorce (C. S. Lewis) – Christian allegory.
     How have I gone so long in life without this book? (Answer: I thought I'd read it before.) When I picked it up to "re-read" it, I discovered that I had, in fact, never laid eyes on the material before. While I was at first confused as to what on earth I was reading, I soon picked up the train of thought and devoured the book. When I was done, I read it again - and loved it even more.
     The premise of the book is as follows: What if people in hell had an opportunity - every so often - to leave hell, and then had an opportunity to either return to hell, or continue on the way to heaven?
     It's an interesting question, and as the narrator follows numerous persons in their decision-making process, we see the answers to the perennial question - why do so many insist on taking the wide road instead of the narrow? Lust, pride, stubbornness - all of those are examined and laid bare. I especially liked the "fire lizard," which seemed to represent a besetting sin or addiction, and which became a steed of life and strength once the person afflicted by it consented to have it slain. Beautiful.
     This definitely falls into the Read it now! category. Highly recommended.

The Lazy Genius Way (Kendra Adachi) - Homemaking, life skills, self-improvement.
     Apparently the Lord wanted me to have a copy of this book, because something like twenty minutes after I brought it home from the library , one of my children thoughtfully poured a glassful of water over it. Result: I bought a new copy for the library, and the crunchy one was mine. And this was a good thing.
     This book is one in a long line of self-help books for the management of daily life, but there's a big difference with this one - the tricks are actually good, foundational, keystone habits that really do help. I'm now on my third reading of this book, and I read just a tiny bit each day as encouragement to keep going and keep trying. It is tremendously encouraging and useful.
     The author of this book identifies as a Christian, which is great. Some things that I ran across in the book, however - such as her ridiculing Christian modesty or talking about "smashing the patriarchy" - just made me sad. (If there's anything that our culture needs, a strengthened sense of Christian modesty and a re-instituted patriarchy would top my recommendations.) But I loved the book anyway, and the author definitely has good things to say about life management.
     This book definitely does not have the beautiful formatting and aesthetics of its sequel, The Lazy Genius Kitchen, which I also love. (See my review here.) I'm guessing that the first book went viral, and the publishers were then willing to spring for the gorgeous formatting of the sequel. However, the content is wonderful, even if the book itself is unaccompanied by the beautiful artwork of its successor. Highly recommended.

Preparation for Adolescence: A Planning Guide for Parents (James B. Stenson) – Parenting.
     We enjoyed this book very much. Highly recommended.

Satisfied: Finding Hope, Joy, and Contentment Right Where You Are (Alyssa Joy Bethke) - Christian living for women.
     I thought I was checking out a book on minimalism and home management. Nope, this was a book about.... well, see the title, and you'll pretty much have it.
    I did wade my way through most of this book, even if I did some serious skimming. The truth is that I find books of this type - heavily feminine, with masses of luscious, emotional language - difficult to get through. 
     There was some good stuff in there. And I do believe that women have the biblical responsibility of writing Titus 2 type materials for other women. Perhaps this type of hyper-emotional literature is. helpful for a different type of woman than myself? On the whole, I prefer to stick to plain "how to be a wife and mother" books written by women for women, and for other spiritual reading stick to books by godly Christian men (who are not usually prone to flights of emotion).
     One thing that really did stick out to me is that it might be better for a book on "finding contentment right where you are" not to be filled to the brim with pictures of a home so breath-takingly gorgeous that Martha Stewart would weep tears of despairing envy. 
     Something thing that I really did love about this book was the small compendium of family recipes at the end of the book. I loved that it was short (not more than 20 recipes) and uber-practical looking, so I made the decision that I would cook through all of them. And I did, too! Or rather, through most of them - I think I missed three to five, perhaps, but I did make all of the rest. With one exception (which was probably my fault), all of the recipes were delicious and well-received. Her curry recipe was my first venture into the world of curry, and it is now a family staple.
     I do not either recommend or not recommend this book. However, I certainly recommend the recipes! 

For Children

All-of-a-Kind Family (Sydney Taylor) - I remember this book with much love from my childhood, and my own children are enjoying it just as much. And now I find, to my infinite surprise, but it is not a single book but an entire series! So now we have the other books to enjoy. 

Music & Film

Have you heard of the musical group Floriani? They are a local group of men who have formed a full-time musical ministry, for the express purpose of revitalizing sacred music in America. (Oh, boy! It could use it!) Here is one of their performances, this one with a more Eastern flair. Visit their YouTube channel for more amazing videos:

***

Back in May, we were supposed to attend a performance of Oscar Wilde's "An Ideal Husband." Due to our miscarriage, I had to miss the performance. Thus, we looked up film versions, and found that there was a 1947 version - available for free on YouTube! - and we greatly enjoyed it. (There is a later 1999 version, but it looked less than clean. Let me know what you thought of it if you've seen that one.)

We also wanted to watch "The Importance of Being Ernest," and found that there is a delightful 1952 version that we'd never seen before. 

Enjoy!

Have a wonderful month, dear friends! Pray for me, as I pray for you! (As in, seriously. It's turning into a rough month over here. I could use the prayers.)