Saturday, April 11, 2009

19 weeks, 2 days: Finally, A Decision

Yesterday I got fed up with myself and just called and got an ultrasound appointment. It's for next Thursday afternoon, so I'll post after we get our results (which probably won't be for a day or two after that, as the results will go to our midwife, not to us). It should be interesting!

This decision-making process has been an interesting experience. Most mums are wondering, "What's all the fuss about?", as most people get ultrasounds these days, but it's a personal thing. I don't want an ultrasound, don't believe in routine ultrasound for all babies, and am distrustful of prenatal diagnostic testing all around (especially since most of it these days seems to be geared toward discovering and killing non-perfect babies; also because it can disrupt bonding between baby & mum because the mum is so fearful and distracted waiting for test results). But for some reason, I have not been able to find peace about not having an ultrasound this time. Most of the time I would just dismiss it casually out of hand (like I did last time), but not this time. I just keep going in a circle of "I don't want an ultrasound, so I'm not going to have one..." and then five seconds later going back to "I wonder if I should have an ultrasound?" So I'm just going to go ahead and do it.

However, I'm terrified of a tech slipping on gender! So I am going to ask that we stop talking once she starts scanning. I don't care if I see any pictures - but I would be heartbroken if we found out the gender by mistake.

Otherwise, we're having a great Holy Week! Went to a nice Good Friday service last night and are looking forward to spending Easter morning with our church family tomorrow. We did DS's first-ever egg hunt this morning - it was raining, so we did it on our porch instead of our yard, and it took all of three minutes (he caught on quickly!) but it was fun, and I was quite proud of myself for doing something holiday-ish (I normally ignore all holiday trappings - a bad habit).

Happy Easter, everyone!

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