Thursday, January 8, 2015

Tidbits for January 9th (First Edition!)


Okay, everyone! Since I can't currently satisfy my insatiable desire to share articles via Facebook, I've decided to start sharing them here on my blog.

Enjoy! 


When Supermom Has to Say No - "Sometimes what we really need is a drastic change in our lives that frees us to do the things we know we need to be doing." I can't say how much I loved this article!  (The Modest Mom)

5 Favorite Books from 2014 - I have read absolutely none of these - apparently, I should have! (In the Nursery of the Nation)

7 Common Calorie Myths We Should Stop Believing - "These calorie myths are often rooted in truth but presented in black-or-white terms that are useless at best, harmful at worst, and do little to help the average person lose body fat." Make sure you also read part two. (Mark's Daily Apple)

The Solas of Our Faith - Dale Kiefer takes us back for a refresher course on the basics of the Reformation. "The reformers developed the confessions and catechisms that are still with us and being used in many churches. Along the way, the five 'Solas' of the Reformation emerged. These remain an excellent window into understanding the core teachings of the faith that the Reformers recovered." (Scratchings)

Bringing Up Bates - If you like the Duggars, you'll love the Bates! Check out their new season. (Children Are a Blessing)

Baby Boot Camp - "The 6 year old is running through the house.  The toddler is constantly saying no and hitting the 4 year old.  The 8 year old is whiny, and everyone (including mommy) has a bad attitude.  Oh, and you just had a baby a few months ago. You are in those difficult “little years”. Those years when chaos seems to reign supreme.  Sometimes you look around you and wonder what happened.  Most of the time you look around and wonder if you’ll ever gain control of the household again." I absolutely loved this article and Amy's excellent advice! (Raising Arrows)


Have a wonderful weekend, everyone! 


Wednesday, January 7, 2015

New Year's Eve, What?


Our normal agenda for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day is simply to travel north to spend the holiday with my husband's family. That pretty much relieves me of the burden of any holiday planning, and we simply have a fun time with family.

This year, however, we elected to stay home. Not only do we have a newborn, but our growing family is getting harder and harder to stuff into our in-laws' single-wide mobile home. (When we visit, we have a total of eight people, one dog, and one African grey. It's a bit cramped!)

Of course, the one year we stay home, what do we miss?

SNOW!


My goodness. We were so disappointed! We almost never get to see snow (we've seen it once, to be specific), and there it was - just sitting there, mocking us. In fact, my husband's parents got more snow than they've ever had during their entire residence in northern Arizona. 

But anyhow - I digress. 

The entire point was that I found myself at a loss for things to do on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. In other words, we need some family traditions. 

We ended up not doing a lot for New Year's Eve, and doing absolutely nothing on New Year's Day. While it wasn't awful, it wasn't a brilliant success either. Thus, I gave myself the assignment for this month to find some New Year's Eve/Day "traditions" that we can try on for size next year, the ultimate goal being to find some long-term traditions that will work for our family. 

Here's our plan for next year! 

New Year's Eve

Special dinner: Corndogs and French fries
DessertCrockpot Brownies in a Mug with whipped cream 
Fireworks & a Bonfire (whenever we buy a fire pit, that is!)
(For cold weather, possibly a movie instead?)
Toasting the New Year with Martinelli's apple cider
Watching the ball drop 
Praying the old year out and the new year in (read about it here and here)


New Year's Day

Special breakfast
Geocaching
Special dinnerBlack-Eyed Pea Chowder and Honey Cornbread Muffins



One thing that we have found absolutely does not work for our family is letting the littles stay up late. That is a recipe for disaster. Perhaps when we have older children, we'll let them stay up later (although my husband and I don't stay up till midnight ourselves). 

Readers, do you have any New Year's traditions that are precious to you? I'd love to hear about them!

Stealing both ideas (plus some others) from Wendy at Contentment Acres! Done without permission, but I don't think she'll mind! 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Free Homeschooling Workshop


For local friends!

Copied from the Tempe library website:

***

Join AFHE Board Members Linda Crosby and Nancy Manos for Homeschooling 101 

A three-part series hosted by the Tempe Public Library

Homeschooling 101

Do you want to know more about what it takes to homeschool in Arizona? Join us for an exciting 3-part series: Get Started Homeschooling, Tips for Successful Homeschooling, and Curriculum Approaches.  This program is designed to answer your questions. One hour presentations on each topic, with a Q&A after. No registration required.  Fee: None. 480-350-5500

Dates: Three Wednesdays, 1/14, 1/28/, 2/11 from 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.

Get more information or see full promotional flier.

***

Ladies, this should be a wonderful series. Nancy Manos is a delightful woman and excellent speaker, and Linda Crosby is insanely funny and an excellent speaker. (We heard her last year.) If you have a few minutes to spare, make time to attend this awesome event.

Enjoy! Let me know if you go!




Facebook and Family Pictures


Hello, dear friends!

First, a quick note:

I am currently off of Facebook. I do not know if this is temporary or permanent, but to ensure that I do not sabotage myself (like I usually do), I have taken the precaution of asking my husband to change my password. Bingo! Now I have some accountability because I literally cannot get into my account.

Thus, I will still receive (most) Facebook messages, because I receive notification of them in email form. However, I will be responding to those via email (not Facebook messenger), so make sure that you include your email address - or just email me! You can also leave a blog comment in order to send me a message.

Wish me luck!

Also, we finally have some new family pictures! Here is our updated family picture:


It's not perfect, it's the best we could pull off in sub-zero temperatures.

(Okay, it was in the 40's, but that's sub-zero to Phoenicians.)

Have a wonderful day, everyone!

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Hanging Out in Labor and Delivery (And Loving It!)


This past summer, I began a project for the sheer joy of it - touring labor and delivery suites (a.k.a. hospital birth centers, a.k.a. maternity wards) at several Phoenix valley hospitals and making detailed notes of those visits for the purpose of comparing the different options for maternity care within the valley.

Though I am a dedicated homebirther, I love spending time in hospital birthing areas, and this project was a lot of fun for me. I loved getting to hear what tour guides had to say about their hospitals, and it was very interesting to compare the different locations.

In the beginning, my intent was to write a detailed summary of each hospital and then to write a comparison. However, I changed my mind on that and have decided simply to write one summary report of what I learned (see below!).

For this project, I visited three hospitals. I would like to have visited more, but making the time and arrangements to visit three was quite a challenge in itself. Perhaps I'll have the opportunity to visit more in the future.

I will not refer to the three hospitals by name. Although one of the hospitals was pretty much perfect, my thoughts about the other two hospitals did include some criticisms as well as praises, and thus I have decided to keep the names of all three hospitals anonymous.

The reasons for this are several, but primarily, hospital experiences are highly individual. One mother may have a wonderful experience, and another a horrible experience, at the same hospital - because doctors, nursing staff, and unavoidable circumstances may contribute toward very different experiences.

Additionally, hospital tour guides are, it seems, very strictly instructed in what to say (and probably what not to say!). Thus, a hospital tour may or may not be representative of the true experience that a mother or family will have at the time of birth - for better or for worse.

For the record:

- The personnel type giving the tours varied from hospital to hospital. At one hospital, our tour was given by an actual labor and delivery nurse. At another, it was a hospital aide and translator who gave the tour.

- Tours all took place in the latter half of 2014.

- All quotes are paraphrases. I made detailed notes directly after each tour so that my summary would be accurate, so all details should be accurate - quotes, however, are reconstructed paraphrases rather than word-for-word quotations.

- I have a strong preference for Catholic hospitals. I do not want to give birth (or even be) in a hospital that performs abortions, and I like being in a place that (basically) shares my life ethics.

- In my notes, I did not take into consideration various high-risk abilities, such as Level III NICU, etc. In an emergency or a severely high-risk situation, the mother and baby need be where they can get needed care. Period, end of sentence, etc. As my midwife told me, "In an emergency, it doesn't have to be pretty." My notes were simply for the normal birthing family who is looking for a hospital in which to have a non-high-risk birth.


All that being said, here are some of the observations that I gleaned from my experiences touring local hospital labor and delivery departments!


Hospitals Tend to Brag About the Wrong Things

I noticed very quickly that hospitals tend to advertise various amenities that they believe will appeal to birthing families (and which probably will). For example:

  • Free WiFi
  • Movie channels
  • Room service

However, all of those things are absolutely irrelevant to the love, respect, and quality of care that a family will receive during their labor, birth, and postpartum. 

I would much rather hear things like:

  • We offer a wide variety of labor tools (birth balls, peanut balls, birth stools, whatever!) and a nursing staff that is trained to help you use them.
  • We would love to see your birth plan and want to help you achieve your goals.
  • We respect decisions that you make for their newborns without trying to pressure you into hospital protocols. 

And I did hear some of that (especially at one hospital in particular), but on the whole, I think hospitals brag about the wrong things. And perhaps we parents are looking for the wrong things.

On another note, I noticed that hospitals also brag about high-tech things ("machines that go beep"). For example:

  • We have full-service monitoring technology that will be tracked at the nursing station at all times.
  • We have an anesthesiologist ready at all times.
  • We have a full surgery team available at all times. 

Is this a good thing? Yes, if that's what you're looking for. But, to repeat myself, those amenities still have nothing to do with the love, respect, and quality of care that a low-risk family will receive during a normal labor, birth, and postpartum.


All Amenities Are Not Created Equal 

Just because two hospitals offers a certain service does not mean that their quality of care regarding that service is the same. 

Here is one incredibly interesting example:

At two of the hospitals, the question was raised about labor tubs. (Both hospitals had labor tubs available for patient use.) Here are the responses:

Hospital #1:
"Yes! We have labor tubs! They are great for helping you to relax and get non-drug pain relief. Just give us a little bit of notice so that we can get one to your room and set it up for you!"

Hospital #2:
"Yes, we have a labor tub. But nobody ever uses it. They always stay in bed. And nobody here ever goes unmedicated anyway. They always end up begging for drugs even if they say they want a natural birth when they come in."

Enough said.



Don't Assume That Outdated Practices Are Dead

At two of the hospitals, we were strictly informed: "As soon as you are admitted, you are treated as a pre-op patient - no food by mouth, and no fluids except ice chips and IV fluids."

Folks, it's really time to stop this nonsense.

From the article linked above:
"Our study found no difference in the outcomes measured, in terms of the babies' wellbeing or the likelihood of a woman needing a C-section. There is no evidence of any benefit to restricting what women eat and drink in labor."
And:
"There should be no hospital policies which restrict fluids and foods in labor."
But converting evidence into evidence-based practices is easier said than done. Dinosaurs die hard.

Similarly...


Don't Assume That All Practices Are Evidence-Based

At one hospital, I asked the question: "What is your policy on delayed cord clamping?"

The answer that I received was decidedly odd. The tour guide replied, "Um.... people don't really do that any more. You'd have to ask your doctor."

Wait a second. "People don't really do that any more?" The practice of cord clamping over the past century in the United States is moving in the direct opposite direction. The current (and past) standard of practice is immediate cord clamping, now moving (at something somewhat slower than a snail's pace) toward delayed cord clamping, which has all the evidence on its side.

One way or the other, the fact that an experienced labor and delivery nurse had no knowledge of delayed cord clamping is somewhat alarming.


Environment Is Important

Things like noise levels, decor, ambiance are not the most important things about a hospital. Granted, absolutely. BUT - they are important. The ability to relax in a comforting environment is critical for the progress of a healthy labor, and a stressed-out mother is likely to have more trouble relaxing enough to labor effectively.

Here are some of the ambiance-related factors that I noticed in the various hospitals:
  • Paint and flooring colors
  • Floor plan
  • "Hospital feel and/or smell" - Both of these are an incredible turn-off to me.
  • Sense of busyness - Also an incredible turn-off.
  • Noise levels - Often related to floor plan and general acoustic design.
Some of the hospitals made me somewhat uncomfortable, ambiance-wise, and some (okay, one!) actually felt more like a resort. When a person is in labor, these things can be more important than we know. (And really, this also applies to patients in the hospital who are there for illness, injury, or surgery. Stress-relieving surroundings can be incredibly conducive to healing, and the reverse is true as well.)


The Tour Isn't Everything

Hospital tours are meant to present a hospital's best side to prospective clients. That doesn't mean that a hospital tour accurately represents as to a hospital's true atmosphere and attitude with regard to birthing practices and policies.

Additionally, a hospital tour leaves out two important factors - your doctor (or midwife) and your nurses. One (your doctor) you get to pick, and one (your nursing staff) is a surprise. Both of those are incredibly important components of your hospital birth experience.

When you combine all of the different factors (doctor, nurses, hospital, your specific case), you can easily get many different outcomes from the same hospitals. I have heard both horror stories and "I love this hospital!" stories coming from all three hospitals that I visited.



We're Speaking Different Languages

As I toured these hospitals, I got the strong impression that the hospital staffs love their families, love their babies, and want the best for all involved.

Mothers and fathers also love their babies and want the best for all involved.

But sometimes those two groups (hospitals and families) mean distinctly different things by that statement.

When hospitals want the best for everyone, they want their mamas to follow procedures, adhere to protocols, and not rock the boat.

When I want the best for my baby, I want the complete freedom to make choices that will be lovingly respected, even if they deviate from cultural norms or hospital rules.

The tension between the desires of hospital staff and the desires of families is what can make hospitals a difficult place to achieve desired birth goals or have birth wishes respected by staff. It's what makes homebirth doubly desirable for mothers like me, who do not want to be fighting battles for themselves and their babies during labor, birth, and the postpartum.


Conclusions

I came away from this project confirmed in my preference for home birth. I do hope that I will never see the inside of any hospital as a laboring mother.

However, I am extremely grateful that these hospitals are there in the case of emergency. Here in the valley we are blessed to have several excellent hospital midwifery practices who accept transport cases (as well as providing excellent hospital care for mamas who choose hospital births), and I am thankful that we have supportive care providers to whom we can transfer care when a home birth moves outside of safety protocols and requires transfer.

Each hospital evoked my admiration in different ways, and I deeply appreciated the kindness of their staff in providing detailed and lengthy tours to give prospective clients information and allow them to ask questions.

The take-away message is simply to do your homework if you are planning a hospital birth. Tour the facility and ask questions. Compare hospitals and make a thoughtful choice. Be extremely selective in your choice of doctor or midwife. Take a childbirth prep class. Read, read, read. Do your research. Write a birth plan. Hire a doula. Do your homework.

As for me, I loved touring hospitals and can't wait till we're pregnant again so that I can tour more of them! I had so much fun.


Dear readers, what are your thoughts? Have you toured more than one hospital? How did they compare? How did your hospital tour compare to your birth experience in that hospital?

As always, kindly worded and non-combative comments and questions are welcomed. Impolite comments of any kind will be quietly deleted without comment.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts!


Wednesday, December 31, 2014

My Theme Word for the Coming Year (2015)


This morning, I spent a few minutes re-reading my New Year's post from last year. As usual, I find that I wrote it and pretty much forgot about it. This is why I now have my goals for the coming year posted on the kitchen wall - so I don't forget them!

But on the whole, I find that the focus of this past year has, indeed, been on the areas I outlined in that post:

  • Good stewardship of my time - My main point last year was to get control of my computer time, primarily by getting off Facebook. In the past year, I have "quit" Facebook two or three times - each time giving in to the draw to jump back in. Right now I'm in the beginning stages of yet another attempt. I'll let you know how it goes.

  • Emotions and words with DH and the children - It's hard to say, but I do believe that I've made significant progress in this area over the past year. The only way to tell for sure would be to ask... but I'm not that brave. Let's just say that I think I've improved.

  • Decluttering and housekeeping - Always a work in progress, but yes, I do think I've seen progress in this area. Surprisingly enough, working on getting a consistent chore system for the children in place has had a big positive impact on my own housekeeping habits - a surprise blessing!

  • Chore systems - This is one area in which I have seen enormous progress this year. Reading books, meeting with a mentor, setting up a chore system and really working on maintaining and refining it - all of that has happened this year. It has surprised me with how difficult it has been, and how much it is requiring me to grow. We have a long way to go, but the start has been made.

  • Developing a life of prayer - Working on it, and definitely seeing improvement.

  • Working on FOOD (food quality, meal planning, cooking for a large-ish family, time management, etc.) - Some progress has been made here. A lot of projected progress was cut short by morning sickness (when the term becomes survival rather than forward movement). However, I am learning more about Azure Standard and am working consistently on our food bill. I think that this will be an area in which I never *arrive* but am always working to improve.

  • The Smoothness of Our MORNINGS - I have made a lot of effort in this area and seen some progress. Honestly, though, mornings are hard. By the time we get ready, eat breakfast, clean up, and do chores, it's usually sometime between 10:00 and 11:00 a.m. While our 8yo doesn't have too much school work, and is still usually finished by noon, that's still not good enough. That area needs a lot of work.

I come to the conclusion that each of the above areas has seen improvement over the past year, and each still needs work. And that's very often how it is in life - one is constantly moving forward (and occasionally backward), but one rarely says, "I have arrived. I have achieved completely what I set out to achieve and have no further to go." At least for me, that rarely happens. It's just constant work and constant improvement as I strive toward better things. 

There's so much further to go - but the Lord has brought us so far, and for that, I am so grateful. 

Last year's word for the coming year was STEWARDSHIP. I am still working on that, and always will be. 

This year's word sprang immediately to mind: 
My theme word for 2015 is PEACE.
Why? Because that is what I desire for myself and my household. A peaceful soul and a peaceful home. And that is what I want to work on this year, both in my prayer life and in practical efforts. 

One comment I receive consistently from multiple sources is, "You are such a calm mother."

Hmm. 

Well, I may be quiet, but true calmness of soul often eludes me. In truth, I am completely stressed out much of the time. Stressed about the state of my home, about my children's behavior and my parenting abilities, about how much I have on my to-do list and how behind I am. And I'm afraid that my stress levels create a household that is similarly stressed. 

While I realize that that is a problem, just saying "I want to change stop being stressed out and start being more peaceful" is not good enough. Wishes alone simply don't get anyone anywhere. Thus, I have begun praying fervently for a peaceful home. Already I am seeing the Lord work in amazing ways, and my determination for this year is to continue to pray earnestly for that blessing upon myself and my home. 

And with that, I wish you all, dear readers, a very happy New Year's! Be safe tonight and enjoy your families and the last of the holidays (unless you celebrate Epiphany, in which case you have another week left!). 

I wish for you all the best in 2015 and beyond! 


King Cake - Our new tradition for Epiphany, to be made next week! 

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Admitting the Ugly Truth (About Maternity Clothes)


Yes, folks - it's time that I admitted it.

The truth is that I need to shop for maternity clothes... when I'm not pregnant.

I've known this for years (eight years, to be precise), but I've always resisted admitting it. Why? Because it feels absolutely ridiculous to buy maternity clothes when we have no idea if we will ever be blessed with another child. While it seems likely that we will, only the Lord knows the plans He has for our family. Buying clothes for a pregnancy that might never happen seems a bit on the silly side.

But on the other hand, there are two other factors that merit consideration.

Firstly, when I need maternity clothes, I am too tired and nauseated to go shopping for them. Even with this past pregnancy, which was amazing, I still felt too exhausted and yucky to go shopping.

Secondly, while I am a devoted thrift store shopper, the truth is that thrift stores are notoriously weak in the area of maternity clothing. Aside from the fact that maternity clothing manufacturers seem to think that all pregnant women are extremely short (?), thrift store selection is low, and many items are near the end of their existence, being that most women (like me!) wear their maternity clothes into the ground before relinquishing them. Additionally, good maternity skirts are truly rare commodities.

Thus, silly as it feels, I am going to admit to the long-obvious truth, and start shopping for maternity clothes all the time ("all the time" as in the once a year I force myself to go shopping!). Hopefully by the time another baby rolls into town, I might have a decent selection.

Additionally, I finally went through my maternity clothing collection and got rid of everything that (1) was worn out, and (2) I didn't care for. This pretty much took my collection down to one skirt and two shirts. Thus, I now have additional incentive - there will be no more skating through pregnancy wearing already-gone maternity clothes!

And there you have it - another New Year's resolution to break. What better way to bring in 2015?

Happy New Year, everyone!