Lessons from Death and Dying

As I reflected on the completion of my first decade of marriage, one thing stood out very starkly - the fact that although DH and I have dealt with plenty of challenges and hardships, we have not had to deal with a lot of deaths in our family. We have plenty of family (or at least DH does - mine is rather sparse), but aside from the death of one grandparent (and one much-loved canine friend!), our first decade has been remarkably free from such things.

The conclusion, of course, was that our second decade of marriage will more likely hold much more in that line, just by sheer probability - though we certainly hope that such is not the case, of course!

The funny thing is that in our first month out (of our second decade of marriage, that is) we have already experienced three family deaths - or rather, two family deaths plus the death of a beloved kitty (who, having been a resident of our home for our entire marriage, was very like family!).

Not unexpectedly, the death of our pussy cat hit us the hardest - we were the most involved in her care, and that was a really tough two months. Additionally, the two family members who died were not close family.

But of the two family members who died, each circumstance taught me something quite poignantly and significantly.

The first family member who died was someone who died with horrible regrets. She had chosen a lifestyle of decisions which led only to brokenness and fragmentation - she abandoned her children to be raised by grandparents so that she could continue her party lifestyle, and her life was filled with waste and broken relationships. When she received a terminal diagnosis, she had a horrible time with the realization that this was it. There was no going back to undo, or make up for, the life-decisions she had made. She lived her last days racked with guilt, shame, and regret.

That's a horrible way to die.

I'm not writing this to point fingers - "She was a horrible person!" Actually, I didn't even know her. (She was a relative of DH's.) What I am trying to say is simply that she felt that she had utterly wasted her life and died full of regret - and that is not how I want to die. Whenever my time comes, I want to look back and be able to say, "By the grace of God, I have fought the good fight, and I am ready to meet my Lord and Savior."

The lesson: I want to live so that I can die joyfully and without regrets.

Our other family member who died was given much less notice of his approaching death - he went into the hospital on Monday to deal with fluid build-up, and was dead by Thursday. In the middle of the week he consented to a two-day sedation for a treatment procedure, but by the time they tried to bring him out of the sedation, he had developed a high fever (105-107F) and died without ever regaining consciousness.

Here, the lesson is once again obvious: I want to live so that I am ready to go at any time.

None of has a guarantee that he will receive "notice" of death. Sometimes there is a "you have two weeks, etc.", but often death is sudden and/or unannounced. There are no guarantees.

Was this relative ready to go? We believe so. And I want to be the same way - that I have given my heart and soul to the Lord and am spiritually ready to meet Him at any time.

Two deaths, two lessons. It's amazing how often death points us to lessons for living, if we will pay attention and take it to heart.

Thoughts, dear readers?

"It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart. Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth." Ecclesiastes 7:2-4

Gluten-Free Flour-Replacement Mix Recipe

I finally got around to trying this recipe yesterday (in banana bread), and it was great! No one in the family could tell the difference. I looked up weight measurements so that I could measure by weight, and off we went.

All materials were purchased from Azure Standard, which is where I have found the best prices. It also comes out to be much cheaper than my beloved Pamela's Bread Mix, which is my standard gluten-free go-to replacement flour.

It has become strikingly obvious that our family needs to severely limit our gluten intake, because both my husband and our 7yo have exhibited wheat sensitivities in the form of stomach upsets and headaches. A little wheat can be okay, but when they attempt to live the standard American wheat-based diet (i.e. loads of wheat in every meal), then we're really in trouble.

As a matter of fact, the reason that I am currently blogging at 9:30 a.m. instead of doing lessons is because our 7yo is sacked out on the couch, sleeping off a miserable two-day "wheat headache" that he got as a result of a severe wheat overdose this past weekend.

Of course, "gluten-free" foods often aren't very healthy, because they are made up of high-glycemic-index starches that can wreak havoc on both weight and gut health when consumed at high levels. This mix is just for those "I just need some flour!" moments - but not meant to be used as a dietary staple.

Random pictures! Don't you love it? 

Two other options that I am looking into at the moment are:

(1) Sourdough - A lot of the health problems with modern grains can be eliminated or minimized by soaking, sprouting or lacto-fermenting. I hope to give sourdough baking a try very soon!

(2) Einkorn wheat - This is the ancestral (biblical!) version of wheat, before modern wheat was developed. I would like to try this form of wheat, combined with the soaking/sprouting/lacto-fermentation processes to see if our family can handle it better.

But in the meantime, when you just need a bit of flour - and that flour needs to be gluten-free - try this version and let me know what you think!


Gluten-Free All-Purpose "Flour" Mix

1 cup brown rice flour (4 1/2 oz.)
1/2 cup tapioca starch (2 oz.)
1/2 cup potato starch (2 3/4 oz.)
1 tsp. xanthan (or guar) gum

Mix and use as for all-purpose flour! (I would measure this flour by volume, rather than by weight, for recipes.)            

Sitting in a bucket of water - his favorite summer-night activity! 

                   
Have a great night, everyone!
                                         

Homeschool Update: Finished With the First Ten Weeks!

Or rather, the first eleven weeks - that's what procrastination does for ya.

I can't believe that we're ten weeks into the school year! It has flown by. I am enjoying this year much more than last year, and though I still don't really know what I'm doing, I am at the point where I feel the hope dawning that some day I shall know what I'm doing. That's a big improvement!

And so.... notes on the first ten weeks of first grade!

- As I get more into home education, I am more and more in favor of late starts, especially for boys. I have seen more and more skills emerge more easily as our son ages - not because of my teaching skills, but because the skills are simply emerging naturally. I can either torture him into skills that he's not ready for (examples: reading skills, writing, etc.), or just wait for them to show up and then take credit for them. (Heh, heh, heh.) Considering that I've tried the torture route, I think I'll just wait!

(It's the difference between snoozing on the deck of a cruise ship or swimming alongside the ship. Same time to the destination, but a lot easier - and more pleasant for all parties - to choose the deck chair.)

Of course, it's also a matter of when a child is personally ready for academics. But if we combine a willingness to wait for a child's readiness and a willingness to give up our society's ever-lowering age of academics (preschool for six-month-olds, anyone? - no, not joking, we have it here), then that is a productive and positive combination.

- Picture study has been awesome. A pleasant surprise, and a ton of fun!

- Another big hit has been our Map Skills book. A sweet friend told me that Map Skills was her boys' favorite subject, and I have found the same to be true at our house! It's just one short lesson per week (or less, as there aren't enough lessons for each week in the year), and our 7yo always wants to do more - an honor that he does not bestow upon any subject except poetry reading!

- Right now we're doing a 4-day week, and that's working for us - but I think that at some point in the future we will have to switch to a 5-day week. Why? Because while I love 4-day weeks, it does not leave us enough vacation time for me to feel truly rested. Our 4-week summer was not nearly enough time - I still felt burned out when we started up again, and only going to a 5-day week will solve that. Maybe next year!

- As mentioned before, skills are coming much more easily for our 7yo than they did last year. He still doesn't care to write, but the little bit that he's doing is much better than last year. In reading, he has simply leaped ahead by leaps and bounds - far beyond what I have actually taught him. He is now reading independently and only needs a bit of help. Though we have a phonics program, we're not actually using it much any more - we're just spending time reading out loud together from whatever book we pull off of the shelf.

- I did finally decide against formal Language Arts for first grade. Instead, we are learning Language Arts informally through Charlotte Mason-style copywork. How does that look? Basically, I copy out passages from the books we read (I just pick any book that he enjoys), and he copies and then illustrates it. It's obvious that our son will never be an artist (keep your day job, kid), but copywork has worked beautifully. I hope to do a post on it soon! Some Charlotte Mason aficionados use copywork (along with dictation and narration) to form a complete Language Arts program for K-12.

- Right now school takes a maximum of an hour and a half, possibly two hours (rarely). If we (1) didn't have a toddler around wreaking havoc, and (2) the 7yo would buckle down and work without needing to be reminded to keep his mind on his tasks, it would be a lot shorter. Of course I'm not counting our science/history/literature time in the afternoons in that total (that's too fun to count as work!), just our family time (Bible, catechism, poetry, safety, picture study, etc.) and seat work (phonics, math, handwriting, copywork).

- The bad news: We're already a bit behind in handwriting and math. This is not because we've been slacking, but simply because, as a newbie, I didn't know to count the "extras" that take more time - like review math assignments that aren't covered in the lesson count total. The good news: I think we can catch up (especially since have more school days than assignments)... but even if we don't, we can always continue our books into next year (though hopefully not).

- Some things that are really working for us: 

• I still love-love-love Handwriting Without Tears. This curriculum has won a permanent place in our home.
• Making weekly checklists for work. Of course I can't turn the first-grader loose with his own checklist yet, but it's a great practice that really keeps me on track - and it also gives me a concrete list for telling the 7yo, "Here are the three things you need to do. When you're done, you can get up. You can choose to take ten minutes or three hours, so here you go."
• Notebooking by Copywork - Per my Charlotte Mason reading, I have stopped trying to do free-composition-type notebooking. For now, copywork is my notebooking, and I'll add back free-composition (or rather, book narration) into our notebooking project in a couple of years. This was a big relief for me, as notebooking was fun but somewhat tortuous. 
• Map Skills series by Modern Curriculum Press - Easy, fun, wonderful!
• Poetry reading, picture study, and map skills have been the biggest hits of this year. 

- A major challenge during this time has been dealing with the dreaded transition between (1) having a toddler who takes a morning nap, and (2) having a toddler who now disdains such frivolity. Considering that my main modus operandi was to cram all formal work into said nap time, this has been quite an adjustment! But we're managing, and we're learning each day. I have the feeling that a mode of constant learning will be in place for as long as we are home educating, because it's never stagnant!

- I may have said it once or twice before, but I love living books education. It is truly a passion - and a passion that's still growing daily!

- We are tentatively (and very informally) starting our history/science/geography curriculum, Galloping the Globe. I'll let you all know how it goes!

And there you have it! Questions, dear readers? Bring 'em on!

Would Someone Please SAY SOMETHING?

Sometimes you don't realize how far you've come. And then sometimes you do! Today was one of those big self-realization moments in which I realized how much I have changed, and how far I've come!

This weekend, we had a family funeral eight hours north of our home to attend. We considered going as a family, but just couldn't work it financially. Thus, it ended up that DH took our eldest to go to the funeral, carpooling with DH's parents in order to save money and make it workable. I stayed home with the babies.

And you know what? Despite my constant thoughts that "if everyone would just leave, I could get something DONE," this weekend has not been particularly productive. And why?

Because the silence is driving me nuts! Would somebody please just say something? Anything? Anyone?

And that totally cracks me up!

Know why?

Because when I was a new parent, two things nearly drove me insane. The first thing was never being alone and losing all of my private time, and the second thing was - once our toddler started talking - having to deal with constant never-ever-ending conversation. Being a quiet person and also an only child (in both my nuclear and extended families) with quiet parents, it really was a very tough adjustment!

But apparently I've adjusted - because the lack of conversation around here for the past 36 hours has been very unnerving! I still don't have a ton of free time, being that there are two babies around to take care of, but the lack of that constant TALKING that originally drove me mad..... is now itself making me a wee bit batty.

Isn't it funny how we truly can adapt to new realities when we need to?

Right now I'm having to adjust to the reality that used to be my norm. Thankfully it will be over in another 24 hours, and I'll have my chatty never-ever-ever quiet household back.

In the meantime.... Somebody say something! 

When this one learns to talk, I'll have a whole new level of noise to get used to! 

It's Time to Throw a Big, Big, Really-Really-Big Party! (Sort of.)

Well, dear readers! TODAY is THE DAY!

Yes, it's that day we've all been waiting for! Let there be rejoicing in the streets, merriment in the town square, and reckless festivities in every home! The day has finally come! 

(Puzzled Reader: "Um, what day is that?")

Well, for the forgetful among us.... Today marks one ENTIRE YEAR that I have been on the very-low-carb diet! Yes, truly! One whole year! One whole year of no sugar, no grains, no carbohydrates of any kind. I can hardly believe it's been a whole year!

That being said, let the party begin!

* Insert sounds of merriment, frolicking, dancing, etc. *

Of course, there's only one small problem to the "one whole year" bit, and that is.... I am ashamed to admit....

I cheated. 

Yes, yes, I cheated! (*Hangs head in shame.*) Indeed I did, so it's a good thing that I didn't have any money bet on this business (though if I had, I wouldn't have cheated!).

And when did this shameless indiscretion occur?

Last week. Last Friday, to be precise.

Yup, in the last week before meeting the one-year marker, I cheated.... and can anyone guess what temptation caused me to cave? It was...

BLACKBERRIES

Yes, blackberries. Last week we went blackberrying in northern Arizona (fools that we were, it took us TEN YEARS to discover that there are blackberries in Arizona... ten long, wasted years! *sob*), and if there is one thing in the world that I cannot do, it is to go blackberrying without eating every second berry. And of course, after that came....

BLACKBERRY COBBER

... which is truly the food of the gods (which is fitting, since I consider blackberrying to be one of earth's closest ties to heaven on earth!). And I didn't say no to that either! Truly, it was a day of indulgence.

However, I immediately reformed and repented, and I am back to orthodoxy and orthopraxy (though admittedly somewhat tired of both).

Mmmmmm. 

And so, dear readers, what are my conclusions after being on the VLC diet for one year?

Well, primarily, not much. As you all know, this is an ongoing experiment to see if the VLC diet can prevent severe morning sickness (hyperemesis, or HG). The last time through pregnancy, I got very mixed results because I cheated (see above link for the full story). This time through, I have determined not to cheat so that our outcome will not be adulterated. However, as of this point there is no outcome, because we're not pregnant! So the jury is still out.

Here are a few things I've learned this past year:

It is only by the grace of God that I have completed this year - My dietary self-control is near zero, so the fact that I have abstained from grains, fruit, starchy vegetables, legumes, sugar, etc. for an entire year is truly a godsend. All the credit is His!

Creativity is a must - On this diet, it's very easy to get into a serious rut, because there is so little in the standard American diet that one can eat. It's very easy to have an entire houseful of food, and not be able to eat any of it! Or to get into the rut of eating the same thing every day and get intensely tired of it all. Planning ahead and switching things up are important! (Or else you will end up doing what I did a few months ago - eating nothing but omelettes for two straight days. Not that I'm complaining - it's a first-world problem. But my goodness, one can get tired of omelettes.)

The VLC diet is a challenge with kids - Why? Because high-carb foods are almost always an easy sell to kids. Low-carb items (vegetables, etc.) are a much harder battle. I find that I need to add side dishes (beans, rice, cornbread) to meals to make them child- and husband-friendly. However, I do my best to cook primarily the same main dish, because it is otherwise an easy road to insanity (especially when I'm cooking yet another dish for the baby with texture issues).

The health benefits have been awesome - Is a very low carb diet natural? Probably not... but there have been clear and distinct benefits! Here are just some of them:

• My skin has cleared up - no more constant adult acne!
• My skin quality has also improved - I no longer use any skin care products whatsoever, and my skin feels better than it ever has. 
• I've lost the baby weight.
• I feel better and have more energy than I've ever had - and this is a huge one, as energy problems have been a life-long issue for me. 
• 90% of my pesky residual pregnancy nausea cleared up within 12 hours of starting the diet - and this last time, it was really a problem. (I've recently also cleared up that last 10%, but that, my friends, is a secret to reveal on another day!)

Brown-bagging is a given - Wherever I go, I bring my own food. Why? Because besides a vegetable tray at a potluck, almost every food at a public event is going to be high-carb. I'm used to it now, and it's just a way of life.

At some point we're going to have to tell the extended family - We have not shared what I am doing with our respective families. Why? Because I do not like to discuss health issues with family, especially when it has been made quite clear that they think we should have stopped with one child and were/are insane to even consider any after that. I've just been "going low carb." However, things are a bit awkward when visiting family, because I don't cheat even at family dinners (I would if it was for weight loss, but since it's a serious medical issue, I don't), so we're going to have to mention what I'm doing so that we don't end up alienated from family. *Sigh*.

However, all in all it's been an awesome year! I've learned a lot about nutrition (plus more that I hope to share soon!!), have learned a whole new way of cooking and eating, and have really enjoyed the journey. If there are ever any *results* to share, I will of course share them here!

In the meantime.... Feel free to leave any questions, and I would be glad to answer them!

Happy Zero-Carb Day!!*

* I should say that this diet is not "zero carb," because a zero-carb diet consists of only meat and oils (fun!). This is instead a very-low-carb diet, which also includes low-carb dairy (heavy cream and cheese) and low-carb vegetables and nuts.

Adding Science Experiments to the Home Education Mix!

In my infant experience with home education (and parenting, and family life in general), I have found that there are three parts to starting something new in our family culture:

(1) FINDING the new idea,

(2) FIGURING OUT how to do it well, 

and, most difficult of all...

(3) IMPLEMENTING the idea

That is, figuring out how to make it a regular, remembered, and successful part of our day or week. In my experience, I find that many wonderful and awesome ideas fall by the wayside simply because I cannot remember to do them consistently or because I never figure out how to work them successfully into our daily or weekly routine.

An especial problem in this area is that of non-daily academics - all of those things which are done only weekly rather than daily. Examples include Map Skills, Picture Study, Crafts, Science Experiments, etc. - all the things that we do only once per week.

One problem that we have recently solved is that of adding science experiments to our routine, which is a very exciting development! We have done so by partnering it with our Father-Son Monday Project Night, an already-established institution in our house in which DH works on some sort of project (LEGO, construction, etc.) with our 7yo. With our new arrangement, I have the science experiment prepared and ready for them, and they do the experiment before heading off for Project Night.

This week's experiment - Flame Tests! 

It works beautifully! DH gets to help with a small part of our home education, and they have a lot of fun together. And, very importantly, we now have an easy-to-remember way to work a weekly science experiment into our regular routine.

Now to find a similar way to incorporate crafts into our week!

Any tips to share, dear readers?

* The above experiment is from this awesome science website, referred to me by a wonderful friend!

Introducing... Charlotte Mason Picture Study!

This year we have started doing Charlotte Mason-style picture study!

This has been another surprising experience for me. I was rather afraid to try it - afraid that it would be another bit of drudgery to force upon our unwilling 7yo, but to my surprise (like poetry!) - he and I have both greatly enjoyed it!

I have been careful not to make it too formal - "Come, children, let us sit down for our weekly art lesson!" - instead making it more fun and informal - "Hey, let's sit down so I can show you a picture I really like!" I really haven't met much resistance, and it's been a fun (and quick!) weekly adventure into the world of classic art.

We are using the Ambleside Online 2013-2014 Art Schedule, so this year's first artist of study is John Singleton Copley, whose work I have quickly come to love (I'm a huge fan of Colonial American history!). Though I have never been passionately fond of classical art, I am discovering a previously untapped vein of interest in a completely new subject, and I have found myself often sitting for quite some time reading the text of the art book we borrowed, and finding it (the history of John Copley and his artwork) absolutely fascinating!

Here are the first two pictures we have studied:

"Paul Revere"

"The Copley Family"

For each study time, we simply look at the picture together for a minute, then turn the picture over and talk about the things we remember about it. Then we look at it again and repeat. It's quick - less than ten minutes - but it's a great way to introduce great artists and great works of art.

Picture study can, of course, be made as complex as one wishes. You can read an artist biography, discuss the history of the time, tie period artists into your history unit studies, or even provide art supplies for your students to try painting in the same style or with the same medium. The sky's the limit! For us, we're starting slowly, but you can take it as far as you want.

For each year, three artists are studied, and six pictures per artists are studied, for a total of 18 paintings per year. If done for 12 years, this means that a student will study a minimum of 216 paintings - not bad!

It's fun to move into a new area of home education, especially one that is unexpectedly successful, and also very low-maintenance and easy to implement.

As for our 7yo, he has now received more art appreciation than I received in seventeen years in the public school system. Not bad for one ten-minute lesson!

Here is one very thorough article about teaching picture study that I very much enjoyed.

For those of you who do picture study, please feel free to drop me details about how you implement it in your family!