Vacation or Purgatory?

As Anne of Green Gables would put it, the spirit moves me to utter a few yowls.... so I shall do so, and then hopefully be done with all undo whining and complaining, which I know is a most unattractive habit anyhow!

DH and I have never been on a vacation together during our 7-years of marriage. We have rarely had the time to take off anyhow, but the main factor has simply been that we have never had enough money even to do an overnight at a Bed and Breakfast. We've always been "just this side" of broke - extras have not been an option. Even now that I'm trying to schedule little overnight camping trips for us, those too are really outside of our budget (when did state parks start charging $25/night????).

So anyhow, this year we are - technically at least - going on vacation. Ten days of it, actually (or rather, six plus two days travel each side) - but am I suitably thankful? No! I am facing the prospect of our upcoming trip with nothing short of dread. I cannot wait until it's over.

Why, you ask? Well, first there's the aforementioned four full days of travel, in the car with two kids - it's 18 hours there and 18 hours back. Blech. Then there's the prospect of trying to keep a baby and an unbelievably energetic four-year-old quietly occupied in an elderly person's home - we're going to be visiting family and staying with DH's adorable grandmother, whom I love dearly, but who is probably more used to peace and quiet than will be plausible. Also, I always find "visiting" visits to be incredibly stressful when they're with people I hardly know from DH's family - one has to be "on" constantly, making small talk, etc., while still trying to occupy and care for one's children - not to mention having every minor foible of one's children open for criticism on the predictable occasions when their non-angelic side breaks out.

Basically, my attitude about this upcoming trip is just plain rotten. I am utterly unenthusiastic over the massive amount of work there is going to be to pull it together and then pull it off. I definitely need a change in attitude!

I am trying to start looking on the bright side of things - that I love Joe's family, that it will be a nice chance to travel and see new things - even Texas in August, when one could cut the humidity with a knife! Hopefully there will be things to do to occupy our 4yo, and at least DH's parents will also be there, which is always a big help. Think positive thoughts! Think! Think! Think! (Maybe this will sink in soon....)

In other news....

For those of you who were awaiting this newsflash, here it is: I have finally discovered the recipe for the best cake in the world. Yes! Check it out! It is a citrus-lover's heaven, and we spent four days feasting upon it's lemony-orangey goodness. Yum. I have no idea where it came from or why it is thus named, but it was wonderful. I ran across the recipe a few years ago and thought it looked good, but I didn't get around to making it until last week, when I made it for my dad's birthday. The whole family raved.

Speaking of state's rights (we weren't, but the cake made me think of it), I am thinking seriously of seceding from my birthday month. Has anyone else ever tried this?

June is an insane - ridiculously insane - month around here. We start off with my dad's birthday, go to DH's dad's birthday, stick in Father's Day (and any graduations), then my birthday, our anniversary, our eldest's birthday, and finish up with Independence Day shortly after. Additionally, since our eldest is the first grandbaby on both sides of the family, we inevitably end up hosting our entire family - in successive waves - during late May and June in order to celebrate his birthday (over and over and over!). Inevitably, my birthday gets completely forgotten. After such an inundation of cake-making, card-writing, package selecting/buying/wrapping/mailing, and hostessing, I am too tired to even care about my own birthday. I don't do much for it anyway, but I do like to make a birthday dinner and cake, and ever since DS was born my attitude has been more along the lines of "More cooking? You've GOT to be kidding" - and so I put it off (to be forgotten).

Thus, I am thinking of exiting the madness! I'm thinking March would be a good un-birthday date, so I'm going to talk it over with DH and see about it.

Our anniversary gets similarly railroaded, so who knows - maybe both events will exit from June's craziness and find saner resting-places.

Under the category of "insanely weird events that somehow find themselves in our life," check this one out:

Last night, DH nearly succeeded in choking himself to death with (wait for it) Nyquil. Yes, seriously. For some reason he choked on it and couldn’t get on top of it, as it caused his throat to constrict tightly, and he ended up nearly blacking out before managing to climb back out of it. I didn’t know about it until the worst was over, as he was in another room. He spent the rest of the evening coughing up cough syrup! We are very thankful that he is okay, though he is still coughing today. It was definitely a creepy (and scary!) event, especially for him, poor fellow!

Well, I could (always!) write more, but I should do something productive with this unexpected windfall of time (both kids asleep at once = miracle). Love to all!!!

HG Through Three Pregnancies: Amy's Story

Reprinted with permission - thanks, Amy!

"Hi Diana,

"I'm very excited to find your blog. I have three children, and had HG with each pregnancy. Not as severe as other stories I've read, but bad enough! The first one (a boy), it was easier to cope since I didn't have young children to look after. But I was so sick I would wake up out of a deep sleep to vomit with no warning. My husband lived in constant fear of being puked on :) I don't remember how much weight I lost, but I could barely walk. My doctor was convinced I would either lose the baby or have small, sickly one. I gained most of my weight in the last trimester of my pregnancy when I felt better, and my son weighed just over nine pounds! I can't tell you how relieved we were to have a healthy baby.

"My second pregnancy started only 7 months after my son was born! Which terrified me after being so sick. For some reason this was my easiest pregnancy. I was only sick for about seven weeks and could at least stomach milk and bananas. This was also a boy.

"My third pregnancy was not so easy. My doctor put me on diclectin right away, which made the nausea more manageable but made me so drowsy I couldn't function. I took it for a few days, decided I was feeling well and couldn't handle the drowsiness, and stopped taking the diclectin. It only took about three hours for me to start vomiting, and vomiting, and vomiting. I couldn't hold down even a sip of water, and when my stomach was empty I still kept throwing up. My husband came home from work and SOMEHOW we managed to get a dicletin pill down and keep it down long enough to take effect.

"My church arranged for ladies to come to our home and take turns babysitting, cleaning, and cooking. If they hadn't done this my husband probably would have lost his job. I can remember fighting to hold down Boost and seeing beautiful pastel bubbles float by my bed. There were days when I asked God to please let me die in my sleep. This pregnancy was a girl.

"My mother and grandmother also had HG (somehow my lucky sister missed the family curse). It helped to have family who understood and believed what I was going through, and were supportive. During my grandmother's second pregnancy she had to temporarily place my mother in an orphanage because she couldn't care for her and my grandfather couldn't stay home with her.

"Anyway, just thought you'd like to hear another story :)

Amy

An Unexpected Blessing

A few weeks ago, we heard the news that our local Christian bookstore is closing (due to the economy and competition with the larger chain bookstore). This was extremely sad news for us, as we love our little bookstore - and it's been a great resource for us. However, since it was my birthday and I'd told DH that I wanted a Christian parenting book, AND the store was offering 50% off for their closing sale, we decided to head down to pick up my birthday present.

But.... we procrastinated a week or so. By the time we actually moseyed down there this past week, their sales were up to 70% off... but their shelves were stripped bare. Utterly. The only books left were those poor, lone volumes who came under the category "books no one wanted." Poor things.

So I wandered the aisles for a while, wondering "Should I buy something just because we came here to buy something, even though I don't really want any of these?" And then DH called out - "Oh, and have you seen their second-hand section back here? There are a lot of books still here!" I hadn't even known that they had a second-hand section! So I went to check it out.

Unfortunately I was in a bit of a hurry (grandparents were babysitting, so the clock was ticking), so I was tossing books left and right without taking much time to consider, but I ended up walking away with six books - for $12.00!!! That's better than I could have done for one or two new books, even at 70% off!

And better yet, upon closer scrutiny they all look to be winners. I am so excited, and so grateful to God for providing this windfall.

And so, without further ado, here is what will be on my nightstand for the next few weeks (or rather, in my bathroom, as the only real reading I get done is when I lock myself in the bathroom and take an extra long time brushing my teeth):

"Answering the 8 Cries of the Spirited Child (Strong Children Need Confident Parents)" by David and Claudia Arp - Have just finished this and it is AWESOME. Highly recommended.

"We Should Do THIS More Often: A Parents' Guide to Romance, Passion, and Other Preschild Activities You Vaguely Recall" by Lorilee Craker - Does romance go out the window when children come in? Short answer: Yes. This is a great, much-needed read.

"Family Driven Faith: Doing What It Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Walk with God" by Voddie Baucham Jr. - We heard him speak several times last year at the homeschool convention, where he was the keynote speaker, and he is amazing, awesome, brilliant, etc. I have started this book and it is similarly wonderful. He has lots of other books we want to get as well.

"You've Got to Be Kidding: Real-Life Parenting Advice from a Mom and Dad of Nineteen" by Pat and Ruth Williams

"The Home Team: Spiritual Practices for a Winning Family" by Nate Adams

"Common Sense Parenting: The Essentials of Building a Christian Family" by Kent and Barbara Hughes

Looking forward to it!

Note on Residual Nausea

If you remember my original posts on residual nausea, or HG nausea (in varying levels) that continues past pregnancy - either in constant levels or in being "nausea-prone" - I concluded that it must be pretty rare, as it was only myself and one other mama who reported it. However, in the past 24 hours I have received comments form 2 more HG mamas who have also experienced post-pregnancy nausea issues. That makes 4 of us - Anna, aren't you glad we're not alone? :)

Unfortunately there is little to no literature and/or research on this one out there. The two OBs I have asked about this gave me the deer-in-the-headlights look and then quickly changed the subject. Maybe sometime I'll post on my birth lists to find out more info on the subject if any exists in the midwifery community. Definitely a rare complication of a rare disease - not something likely to be burgeoning with research and information.

Cheers, all!

Turn it UP! UP! UP!

So. Big churches and loud music. Why are they intrinsically linked? Is it cause and effect? Effect and cause? Is it just because musicians (and thus soundbooth guys) are often a bit deaf from over-exposure to loud music, and they just turn it up too far? Is it because this generation grew up on rock, and we're all deaf?

DH and I have been discussing the church we had been attending (church #3), and both of us find the music (though very good!) to be painfully loud. The question: Is this a deal-breaker, or do we just need to buy ear plugs? We're still debating. Regardless, we WILL be buying ear plugs before we go back to that church. The pain isn't worth it!

Speaking of loud music, here's a good one:

At the church we briefly attended (the hyper-Calvinist bastion), they have evening services which are "contemporary contemporary" and which are known to be a bit on the loud side. Well, we attended one evening on a day when we didn't make it in the morning.

Never again!

When we walked up (we were a bit late), I noticed with some trepidation that not only was the building shaking.... the ground was shaking. When we walked in and took a seat, I was shaking! Literally - every fiber of my being was vibrating to the intense sound which was pounding from the floor-to-ceiling speakers. I gave up trying to sing pretty quickly - not only could I not hear myself sing, I couldn't even feel myself sing. It was like a total loss of self-identity - I had become one with the music. I could have died of a heart attack, birthed a baby, or set off a small (or large) bomb in the back row, and no one would have noticed - because it was that loud.

Afterward, I told DH: "If you ever come back, I hope you enjoy it!" :)

On a more serious note. Has anyone ever studied the negative impact that churches are having on their community's hearing? We can wear ear plugs if we want to, but what about kids who come in with their parents and are getting blasted every week? It's an interesting question - the interface between the church and public health.

I'd write more, but I have a cranker-baby on my lap - more later! Love to all!

Writings of Another HG Mama!

I have been corresponding with a local HG mama, and she has written out her experiences with HG. Check it out:

Severe Morning Sickness

She has also written out her tips for dealing with morning sickness/HG:

How to Cope with Morning Sickness

Thanks for the tips!

Church Shopping

We have now been gone from our church for six months - how the time has flown! I miss it dreadfully, but am doing my best not to think about it too much and to focus on the future.

Anyhow, when we first left, we automatically started attending the church where I have done women's ministries for many years, and we thought we'd end up there. However, over the past few months, we decided that we wanted to start looking again. There were numerous reasons, a big one of which was that DH couldn't stand the militant Calvinism. Our former church was also Calvinist, but in a gentler, background sort of way so that people of many beliefs in the Calvinist/Arminian spectrum could attend comfortably. Not so this church! They are more along the lines of: "Thank you for attending this morning! You were elected to be here. Please greet one another and then join us in reciting the Doctrines of Grace. The non-elect may leave before the sermon."

Okay, it wasn't that bad - but they are overtly, obviously, constantly Calvinist, and DH couldn't take it anymore! We're both in the middle on the spectrum, so militant Calvinism isn't really for us. There were other factors too, so we decided to start looking.

So far, we've seen three churches:

(1) Large (~800) Baptist church. My first time ever in a Baptist church. Great pipe organ, choir, orchestra, and we also found some friends of ours there. The downside: A choir director who feels the need to give speeches before every song (and since they only sang 1-2 verse of each hymn, it meant that worship was mostly speeches!), and a bit too formal for me. Having spent most of my Christian life in California-surfer-type churches, the suit-and-tie atmosphere was a bit intimidating. But we might try it again.

(2) Moderate-sized (~150) Presbyterian church. My first time ever in a Presbyterian church! Good, solid theology - no complaints there. Downside - possibly a bit dull, and the music was very basic.

(3) Large (1000+) ultra-modern mini-megachurch. Modern music, ultra-casual dress, etc.

My conclusions?

First of all, I'm not a fan of church shopping with kids. Without kids, it was kind of fun. With kids, it's much more difficult, in knowing that constantly flopping from church to church is unsettling for the kidlets - esp. since our eldest DS is going through a rather puzzling "But I don't wanna go to church!" phase. So beside dealing with that, we're also dealing with trying to find something that suits both us, as adults, and our kids. We can't go to a church that DS hates and dreads, no matter how much we like it.

We've decided to camp at church #3 for a few weeks to see how it goes - for us and for DS. We liked it a lot, with a couple of reservations, so we're going to see if it's a keeper or not. If not, we'll hit the road again.

Have a great night, all!