The Whining Puker

Another False.... Oh Wait, This Was For Real!

2012-02-12T18:05:00.000-08:00

Howdy, everyone! We are thrilled to announce that after WEEKS of false alarms, our baby did indeed arrive this morning. And it's a....

BOY!!!!

The name is Giles Edward, and he is an adorable little chublet with lots of dark hair. Pictures to come soon!

Here are the birth stats:

Labor start time: 2:48 a.m. on Sunday, February 12, 2012 (2/12/12 - notice the awesome date!)
Labor end time: 9:33 a.m.
Labor time: 6:45 (as opposed to 18:07 and 7:11 for previous births)

Apgars: 9 and 10
Weight: 9 lbs. 9 oz. (Yes, you read that right! It's the year for HG mums to have big babies!)

Birth was a home waterbirth, and baby was caught by his daddy.

Stay tuned this week for a painfully long and overly detailed birth story that will be filled with lots and lots of TMI and other fun stuff!

In the meantime.... have a great week, everyone!

Oh, and an extremely amazing postscript! Wait till you hear this one....

The woman who correctly guessed what the gender and birthdate of our last baby would be..... is the very same woman who guessed what the gender and birthdate of this baby would be. Is that amazing, or what? Fran, you are amazing! (And a congratulations to our runner-up Kristina!!)

Love to all!

False Alarm Number.... Whatever-It-Is At This Point (40w4d)

2012-02-11T07:16:00.000-08:00

Sheesh! What a night!

Yesterday afternoon, I noticed my contractions ramping it up a bit - getting a bit nastier, more noticeable, etc. Since we are obviously well into labor-territory, I kept an eye on it and knew that baby's arrival might be in the night's forecast.

We had a super-busy night - dinner, family trip to Sprouts, then family movie night (plus all the usual chores), and the contractions kept right on going (they always do, as a matter of fact, but these just had more bite to them). I texted my birth team at about 9:30 p.m. just to give them a heads-up that something might be going on, and then headed to bed.

At that point, things got really uncomfortable, and stayed that way. I was absolutely sure that baby was on his/her way - I just wanted to hold out as long as I could to let the team get some sleep before having to head over.

And then... 1:00 a.m. hit. And the contractions stopped cold in their tracks, I went to sleep and just now got up (yawn!). Only 1-2 contractions total since then.

Another false alarm.

First of all - why does all this painful false labor stuff get worse at night?

Secondly.... this baby apparently likes messing with my head!! Seriously, this child has been an independent and willful little chublet ever since he/she was conceived. Almost nothing about this pregnancy has mirrored my first two, and the nuances now being thrown into the mix have got me running about trying to catch up with what's going on. Crazy!!

Well, I'm guessing that the false alarms will sometime turn into the real thing, and fairly soon... though I also think there's a distinct possibility that I might just stay pregnant forever.

One thing that does have me nervous is the fact that I am still spending most late evenings with some really nice nausea. Laboring with that in tail is not something I'm hoping to do.

Ah, well. We'll see what happens! I'm guessing we will not exit this weekend without a babe-in-arms... but then again, I've been saying that for the past three weeks, LOL!! We'll see.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Still Here! (40w2d)

2012-02-09T17:33:00.000-08:00

May I say.... Wow!! I cannot believe we are still "here," i.e. sans baby. And not only are we still here, but there are absolutely no signs that baby's advent is anywhere imminent! Can you believe it? We are now almost one full week past the furthest point we have ever before reached with either of our first two pregnancies.

Life is going well - keeping up with housework, playdates, cooking, childcare, homeschooling, etc. - nothing really new! We were rather expecting the baby to have arrived by last weekend, so a lot of this week has just been.... waiting - mentally, at least - which can be rather nerve-wracking!

I have currently updated my "So, when is this baby arriving?" answer to "A few days ago!" which has definitely caused widespread nervous looks! Oddly enough, the answers I get to that, though, vary between "Gosh, you hardly look pregnant!" to "Will you PLEASE hurry up and have that baby already?" - I think it depends on the shirt I'm wearing!

On Monday we had fun with our midwife working out how we wanted the birth to go. For the record, our plan was for it to start gradually tomorrow (Friday) at around noon, and finish up around 10 p.m. Let's see what happens!

I'm thrilled to have made it to the end of the week. There is a ton of training going on for DH at his work, as well as an event going on tomorrow, and I'm thankful he's made it to all or most of that. Additionally - and yes, I know that this is totally trivial - if this baby can wait till midnight tonight or later to be born, we will have spontaneous palindrome birthdays for ALL of our babies! Again, I know it's trivial, but that's pretty exciting for me. Our first two are 6/22/6 and 9/1/9, and the dates of Feb. 10 through Feb. 19 of this year are also palindromes (2/10/12 - 2/19/12). I'm counting the hours!

So that's about it over here, folks! Just nesting and putting in time while we wait for our little one to make an appearance. I'll post as soon as I can when he or she does!!

Homeschooling: The First Four Months

2012-02-07T13:40:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to post on this for ages, so here goes! Veggie Tales in the background, folks, so no guarantees on logical thought processes or even basic grammar. You have been warned.

Okay - two things to start off:

First thing - Homeschooling was not plan A for me. Though DH has always wanted to homeschool, I had decided very firmly against it and had even picked out a (really great!) school for our children. The only problem - despite firm personal resolution, I simply could not feel at peace about any decision other than homeschooling. I prayed about it for at least a year, and finally concluded that God's plan for us right now is homeschooling. Though I can't say I'm overly excited about it (I'm not someone who's been waiting and wanting to homeschool), I do believe that this is God's will for the present. Now I'm just praying for the enthusiasm to go with it!

(Note: I am seeing many reasons why homeschooling was a good decision for us - both having to do with me and with our son. So I'm in agreement with this decision, however reluctantly it came about!)

Secondly, even though we did decide to homeschool, we had not planned on starting this year. We had wanted to wait until next year, when our son will be six, mainly because our son has absolutely no academic instincts, and also because every teacher I have ever talked to says that later starts are better for (most) boys. However, as I have mentioned, our son was not going to be allowed to move up with his AWANA class unless he was "in kindergarten," so we reluctantly decided to start a year early.

We started "school" in October - the plan was for September, but I was just too sick to start at that point. Normally, I think I'll either school year round (and take breaks whenever) or start the school year in June, as I absolutely loathe our Phoenix summers and would rather take time off during our livable cooler months.

With that being said, we've been homeschooling for four months! How's it going? Well.....

(1) For phonics (reading), we chose the classic "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons". It has been great! No complaints. Does our son like it? No, but he doesn't like anything academic, so that's okay. We're doing half a lesson per day, and are almost halfway through the book. I've heard that some kids get lost in the latter parts of the book, so it that's the case then we'll switch to something else. For now, it's been good!

(2) Because I did not want to be starting kindergarten at all this year, we have skipped math and writing. For the rest of our curriculum, I used Sonlight Core A - their kindergarten program - which covers Bible, poetry, and history/culture/geography in a "real books" format - that is, one learns from read-aloud books (as opposed to textbooks).

From this, I have now officially joined the "spend a whole bunch of money on something you don't end up using" club. I was sure it wouldn't happen to me, considering the HOURS of research I put into this purchase, but the sad truth is there - we're going to have to switch to something else.

Before proceeding, I should say that I really do love Sonlight, and I'm willing to look at it again later - though this review is going to show why we're not using Sonlight right now, I think it's a great program and would whole-heartedly recommend it to others. Also, the book lists that they use are simply phenomenal - great literature, all of them.

We got through one third of the program - hurray! While we were doing the curriculum, I did my best to ignore that a huge percentage of the material was completely going over my 5yo's head. I just plowed ahead. But then I read this blog post in which the mother mentioned using Sonlight Core A for her eight year old daughter. And I'm trying to use this for a five-year-old boy! No wonder it was going over his head!

Our son is currently still into picture books (Clifford the Big Red Dog, etc.), and short chapter books that have lots and lots of pictures (Mr. Putter & Tabby, Henry & Mudge, etc.). The books used in Sonlight's Core A are books that I remember reading in third and fourth grade - "The Boxcar Children," "The Family Under the Bridge," etc. They even included "The Hundred Dresses" - which is a long, action-free book that consists almost entirely of a girl describing her feelings. For a five-year-old boy? Are you kidding me?

Additionally, many of the readings were entirely too long. It was not uncommon to have daily reading assignments that were 20-30 pages long in the chapter books, which were exhausting for me and mind-numbingly boring for our son (especially considering that he wasn't getting the material). This also had the unexpected side-effect of killing my love of reading aloud. Our story times together pretty much ceased around the time we started using the Core, because I was so sick of reading aloud that I just wasn't up to doing regular book time.

One final complaint was that the Core A introduced themes and subjects that I felt were highly unnecessary and sometimes inappropriate for five-year-olds. Kids really don't need to know all of the evil of the world. Themes from the books sometimes involved: poverty, terminal illness, death, cruelty, racism, bullying, murder, religious persecution, etc. etc. etc. For such young children, I think I'd rather stick with "Hi, I'm Emily Elizabeth, and this is my dog Clifford."

After reading that rather illuminating blog post, I spent a couple of weeks in quandary and then decided to ditch Sonlight for now, leaving the possibilities for the future open. I'm guessing that we will either return to Sonlight in the future or use their book lists, which, as I mentioned, are excellent.

So for now, we're doing Bible as a family, phonics, crafts and coloring from AWANA lessons and from on-the-fly ideas, and waiting while I research writing and math curricula to put into place after our postpartum time off. If anyone has any ideas, PLEASE leave a comment to let me know what you like! I am especially looking for curricula that are good for wiggly-willie type of boys who just aren't into school for school's sake.

One thing I loved about Sonlight was simply that the days are perfectly laid out for lessons. I do not enjoy creating my own lesson plans or putting together curricula off of the internet (I know a lot of mums really enjoy that). That was definitely a plus, and I will miss that.

Homeschooling has been a challenge in many ways. It is difficult not to have any time by myself. It is difficult to enforce learning with a child who has absolutely no interest in it. It is also difficult to work across learning styles - my own style is nice, neat bookwork, with lots of checking boxes off of a to-do list and perfectly organized papers, while avoiding all hands-on activities (which I have always disliked). Our son, on the other hand, has no interest in worksheets or book work, and is entirely the hands-on mechanical type. Yikes!

I think I am about to prove another rule of homeschooling - that it takes a couple of years to get worked into feeling comfortable with it. Yup, I can see that one coming.

So that's how it's going, everyone! I'll check in later in the year to let you know what kind of progress we've made.

Oh yes, and today is..... 40w0d!!! Hurray!! This babe has now more than won the record for longest-uterine-residency in our family. Hoping s/he will keep it up at least a few more days!! And if I have time, I'll do another pregnancy/life update before s/he makes an appearance.

Operation Afterpain Take-Down - Current Plans (39w3d)

2012-02-03T21:59:00.000-08:00

I've mentioned before on this blog that with both our previous births, I had problems with severe afterpains - even with our first birth, when afterpains are supposed to be either absent or almost unnoticeable (ha!!!). Both times the afterpains have prevented me from holding or breastfeeding the baby until the first window had passed, and both have made my postpartum extremely difficult.

Our second time through was actually better than our first - for one thing, I was expecting the afterpains (they're supposed to get worse with each baby), and for another, I utilized placenta medicine. I did not know at the time that placenta medicine would help with afterpains, but by golly it was amazing! Wow!

But they were still a problem.

This time around, my midwives and doula are fully on board with the need to work with this problem, and we have worked out the following plan:

* Warning: The following contains a discussion of placenta medicine, so be forewarned. :)

(1) Advil

As soon as baby and placenta are out - four Advil. This didn't help much last time, but we're going to do it anyway! But since we need to start attacking this beast before that point, we will be also doing....

(2) Afterpains Tincture

Purchased from a new and lovely herb shop in Mesa, AZ - Worts & Cunning Apothecary - it is an herbal tincture containing various herbs such as cramp bark, cohoshes, etc. It can be taken as soon as baby is born, and has a good report from other mothers who have used it.

(3) Homeopathic Arnica

Worth a shot!

(4) Placenta Medicine

As I mentioned, placenta medicine (that is, actually eating the placenta) does wonderful, astounding, amazing things! Not only does it help with postpartum moods, energy, and blood loss (for articles containing studies on these subjects, look here), but it did amazing things for my afterpains. Although the afterpains from a second birth are supposed to be worse than a first birth - and I can attest that this is true - I started feeling better immediately after my first placenta smoothie, and the afterpains cleared up much more quickly than with my first birth (within a week or two compared to six or more weeks). For my experience with that, read more here.

Last time, after the initial smoothie or two, I did the ever-popular placenta encapsulation, in which the placenta is dried, pulverized, and put into gel caps - which completely removes the "eww, yuck!" factor. Good stuff. But this time, I'm going to switch it up a bit. My plan is simply to cut the placenta into smoothie-sized pieces, and use all of them up making smoothies over the first couple of days postpartum (the pills usually last for a month or two of daily dosages).

The reason? Simply that, in looking at the animal kingdom, the rest of mammalian species eat their placentas immediately after birth, and eat them completely. They don't eat a little bit at a time for two months afterwards. They don't save any placenta for menopause (a common practice for leftover placenta pills). They certainly don't cook their placentas (which is why I have always embraced raw placenta medicine, rather than the cooked method used by Traditional Chinese Medicine). My guess is that the best results will come from sticking as close to nature as possible - though I will definitely use the smoothie method, as eating a raw placenta plain is a bit too much for me!

(For those interested in placenta medicine, though, I would still totally recommend the pills! They work wonders, and they are great for working with the squeamish nature of this practice. Completely on board with placenta encapsulation!!)

Thoughts, anyone?

I'll let you all know how it turns out!

No signs of labor yet - and this baby has now - or rather, as of tomorrow morning, will have - won the official "longest pregnancy" award - both of our previous births were on or around 39+3. Fun stuff! I'm hoping for another week, but I'm not counting on it.

I'm afraid that I am just not going to get in all the pre-baby blogging that I wanted to - for one thing, I'm still nesting like crazy, and for another, nights (my usual blogging time) are also the times when I am still the most nauseated and least likely to settle down to anything serious. I have several topics waiting for each blog, but I guess they'll just have to wait. C'est la vie!

Have a wonderful weekend, all!

HG Mama's Birth Story!

2012-01-29T12:19:00.000-08:00

Folks, this is something I've been waiting for all winter! Molly over at Knocked Up, Knocked Over has published her birth story! Hop on over and check it out (and the awesome pictures!), and make sure to send some congrats her way. This mama has been through the wringer to get this babe here - she is truly a warrior. Congratulations, Molly!

Almost, But Not Quite

2012-01-29T11:02:00.000-08:00

I have mentioned before that my goal was to nurse through this entire pregnancy, and then to continue on with tandem nursing (nursing two babies at once).

The jury is still out on the second goal, but I am sad to say that I did not make it with the first. We stopped breastfeeding a week ago (basically at 38 weeks pregnant).

A couple of reasons:

Firstly, nursing had gotten down to once every 24-48 hours anyhow, and it was only on one side (the other side finally reached the "CHECK, PLEASE!!!" pain level), so we were down to one side, but it was so blastedly painful that I was really limiting nursing sessions.

Secondly, nursing while pregnant has made me incredibly prone to cracked/bleeding nipples (TMI, sorry!), and I realized that I needed some time to let those heal before I have to start nursing a newborn round the clock (no use starting with the deck stacked against me).

(Incidentally, I have no idea why those issues surfaced during pregnancy, as I've never had problems like that post-initiation.)

So, as of last Sunday, I pulled the plug. Our little dude is 29 months old, which is far shorter a time than I had hoped to nurse him (especially with his health issues), and not even as long as I nursed our first.

HOWEVER! I am not giving up yet. My hope is to reintroduce as soon as our newest is born, and see if we can get back on track. That should only be a gap of about 2-3 weeks, so I'm hopeful that it can be done.

Anyone out there tried this before? Tips?

I'm disappointed, but we'll give it a go to pick up the pieces!

Quick Check-in (38w2d)

2012-01-26T15:50:00.000-08:00

We're getting down to the wire, aren't we? Exciting stuff!

This week has been super-busy - activities and chores everywhere! If we can get through this weekend, I'm going to try to slow down and relax for a bit (ha!). Not that the nesting hormones will let me do that, but it sounds good on paper.

A few sound bytes from our week....

Speaking of nesting! You know you're nesting.....
..... when you are up at eleven o'clock at night scrubbing down your kitchen floor with Comet. And furthermore, when you enjoy it! (Should I be worried that I no longer have feeling in two finger-tips?) The floor really needed it (I had noticed for the past few months that washing the floor still produced a dirty-looking floor), but now it's made me a bit paranoid. ("Ack! No! Don't step on the floor!") I know that it won't last long, but I'm enjoying it while it's clean. And I'm doing my best to start a new no-shoes policy to save our poor floors and carpets (local friends, this is for family only - not visitors!). I'm also considering keeping the stroller in the garage, since it leaves such lovely black tracks behind it every time we bring it through the kitchen (anyone ever tried that?).

Pregnancy Beliefs:
A lot of people really go for the "how you're carrying shows what gender you're having" belief! I've had several people spontaneously evaluate me this way, though results are still inconclusive. :)

This week, a fond farewell to....
.... my oldest maternity shirt, which has been with me through three pregnancies. I ignored the fact that, by now, it was totally worn out... I ignored the fact that I'd recently gotten bleach stains on it... But when it started ripping spontaneously down the arms, I had to admit defeat. Farewell, sweet shirt! But on a happier note, I have managed to procrastinate my way out of shopping for (desperately needed) maternity clothes this pregnancy. If we are ever blessed with another, I will have to (*sob!*) break down and go shopping.

Various odd things:
Isn't it interesting how one's brain will, during sleep, incorporate real-time happenings into one's dream sequences? Last night I dreamed that someone was shouting "Insolent girl! I see nothing in it but your own willful ignorance and the malice of Mr. Darcy!" (Name the volume, scene, and character, fellow Austen fans!) Upon waking, I discovered that it had been the baby crying, translated into an Austen scene! Amazing mind games.

Huge personal accomplishment:
My first haircut in..... over two years!! Have I mentioned that I have a problem with procrastination?

In HG news....
Big congratulations to Sleepwalker on the birth of her new baby! Can't wait to see pictures, my friend! This is definitely the year for HG mamas to produce big babies!

Odd happenings:
On Tuesday, as we were leaving to see our midwife, we heard what sounded like two quick gunshots. Later that evening we learned that those shots had been the end of a standoff between a suicidal man and police who had been called to the scene. He threatened police with his gun and ended up getting shot. A very odd and uncomfortable feeling to know that we heard the shots that ended a man's life, and such a sad happening for his family. We don't know them, but they live within a stone's throw of our house (over the wall into another neighborhood).

Pregnancy stuff:
Feeling fairly well - just tired, nauseated, and rather painful - but fine and busily concocting new nesting projects as soon as I finish old ones. The sad thing - there is no way I could ever keep this house as clean as my personal liking (which is at "museum" level)..... unless I had a personal maid. Thus, I vote to bring back the era of domestic servants! (I'm still waiting!!) No signs of impending labor, and at the moment I'm just trying to work through this crazy-busy week.

I'll try to check in again soon if I can! Love to all!

Just in from the Front: New HG Tips

2012-01-25T11:11:00.000-08:00

A local friend of mine just posted her "what might have helped" blog post regarding her current pregnancy (which is her seventh-or-so time through hyperemesis). Here it is!

Morning Sickness Update

You can read this author's original post about severe morning sickness here - I encourage everyone to read it, because it is a great picture of hyperemesis.

You will notice that a lot of these tips are "pre-HG" - i.e. you can use them up until HG is in full swing, at which point (as we all know) a lot of tips switch from helpful to impossible. But anything is worth a try - thanks for sharing!

Getting Close! (37w4d)

2012-01-21T13:04:00.000-08:00

Here we are! I am too tired to think in coherent, logical thought sequences, so sound bites will have to do for a quick update:

How I'm Feeling:
Tired. No, make that exhausted. Sore. Heavy. Nauseated.

Signs of Impending Labor:
None!

False Labor:
Nothing more, really - in an official way - but I have been having a ton of painful night-time contractions that are either keeping me awake or waking me up. This is so new! I've never had anything like this before outside of real labor. And no, the Hypnobabies tapes aren't helping yet, but I'm listening to them faithfully anyhow.

Weird Pregnancy Things:
Every day or two, I panic and think, "Wait! We have a baby! But I haven't fed the baby! Or changed, dressed, etc. the baby! Furthermore, I don't know where the baby is!!!" Then I remember that oh, yes, the baby hasn't been born yet. Relief!

Baby Names:
I think we're set.... again. We'd better be, because the family is waiting with long lists of requested names otherwise!

To-Do List:
Almost completed! This coming week is our prenatal with our doula and our tax appointment, so if we can make it through that, I'll be happy!

The Lost-and-Found Cat:
After her latest escape, we realized two things: (1) she wasn't adoptable anyhow (we'd been trying to find owners), because you can't just give away a cat that is looking to leap for freedom every time she sees a square inch of blue sky, and (2) we didn't want her back. She was miserable, and our bully-cat was making mincemeat of her. So we decided that if she showed up again, we would just feed her outside as an outside cat. And it's worked! She's come down for dinner twice now (about once a week), and it is working for all parties. Thank goodness!

A Quick Reminder:
For Facebook friends, please don't mention this blog on Facebook (no worries for those who have forgotten!). The reason: I do not want my family reading my blogs. That sounds weird, but I simply want to maintain my privacy and my ability to express myself fully without worrying about family misunderstandings or input. Thanks, all!

Upcoming Plans:
Well, most of them are getting canceled due to sheer exhaustion. But things on the calendar these next few weeks include homeschooling, MOMS Club outings, weekly meetings with our midwife, a prenatal with our doula, our tax appointment, lots of errands and little last-minute things, and a lot of finger-biting-type waiting.

Other Stuff:
I think there's a lot of other stuff, but my mind is too dead to think of it! Later, all!

Time to Start Guessing!

2012-01-17T07:09:00.001-08:00

Okay, everyone! Time to guess baby's GENDER and BIRTHDAY! Just leave your answer in the comments below, and I'll put them on the calendar. No worries if there are repeat guesses - that just means there will be more winners if that date/gender wins!

Thanks, all!

For the record, my guess is February 1st, a girl.

Another False Alarm

2012-01-14T09:32:00.000-08:00

Last night I had another episode of what I am calling, for a better term, "false labor" - contractions that woke me up in the middle of the night and halfway convinced me that I must be going into real labor.

This time it was longer than last time - for about five contractions - and took up about half an hour. Funnily enough, it woke me up in the middle of my Hypnobabies CD, which I have been "listening to" for the past week, but as I've been asleep for most of it, I've never actually heard it to the end. Rather confusing!

Thankfully the contractions stopped once I got up. I'm hoping this is not going to become a habit!

Things like these raise important philosophical questions, like (1) How can this baby even think about coming early when I haven't yet finished my to-do list??? and (2) Why on earth am I choosing to have an unmedicated birth again? Remind me?

Doubtless both questions will be answered by the wisdom of posterity. In the meantime, I am exhausted and rather cranky. Giving myself a ridiculously long to-do list for today (bake two cakes! process broccoli baby food! roast beets! do housework! blog! freeze blueberries!) has not helped.

Anyhow, off to get back to it! Have a great weekend, all.....

Term! Or Preterm! Or Something! (36w2d)

2012-01-12T17:48:00.000-08:00

And here we are! We are now officially cleared for our third homebirth - very exciting, and very nerve-wracking! But we are sorta-kinda term now - hard to tell, since the old definition of "term" is 36 weeks, and the newer definition (out this year or last) is something around 37-38 weeks. Either way, we're on our way, and this baby will definitely be here in the next..... six or seven weeks at most. Most likely three or four. Yikes!!

Speaking of running out of time, I have a lot of blogging to do in these next few weeks! A lot of topics that I've had spinning in my head and which need to be written out before they are completely driven out of my head by birth stories. I need to get busy!

So for now (especially since I am totally distracted by "Good Eats" in the background), a super-quick update on how we're doing over here:

Baby:
This baby is super-SUPER active. Lots of kicks, lots of hiccups, lots of rolling about (going back and forth between ROA and LOA, though at last visit she was - *gulp* - LOP. (Bad, bad baby! Flip now!) Speaking of fetal positioning, I am starting - slowly - to learn how to determine baby's position. Not well, but I'm starting to get the slightest feel for it. I have even learned to find baby's head! (Everyone out there is saying a big "duh," but I'm a slow learner.)

Baby Names:
Changing! What else?

Nausea:
Ever-present, but usually only problematic in late morning and late-afternoon/evening. I keep forgetting that the blasted stuff lasts up until the birth. However, at least this time I shouldn't have to deal with two years of postpartum residual nausea like we did with the first one (when the HG was uncontrolled). I'm hoping to see it dissipate over the first post-birth week like it did last time.

Meds:
Just one half of a Unisom each morning.

Other supplements I'm taking to prepare for birth:
Alfalfa - for vitamin K levels
Vitamin C - for immune system and for amniotic sac strengthening (I would LOVE a birth en caul)
Calcium/Magnesium - Because this stuff is so stinking good that I can't resist it - oh, I meant that it's good for the baby!
Floradix Iron - To reduce postpartum bleeding and to keep iron levels up
Red Raspberry Leaf - Classic herb for all things female, including labor prep
Evening Primrose Oil - Another classic labor prep supplement, good stuff

Childbirth Prep:
I have faithfully been listening to my Hypnobabies CDs every night since New Year's Day - I have no idea if they're helping (or are going to help), but it's somewhat reassuring to be doing something. Hopefully it can work subliminally, because I fall asleep within 3-5 minutes of starting every night. Other things I'm doing are exercising (walking) and the basic Bradley exercises (pelvic tilts, kegels, tailor sitting, butterflies).

Homeschooling:
We have come to another fork in the road, curricula-wise - I'll cover this in an upcoming blog post.

To-do List:
Coming along nicely! Will I finish? No, but I'll be close.

Decluttering:
I'm at a pause in the process, but it's coming along nicely! I have easily gotten rid of multiple hundreds of pounds of unwanted STUFF, thanks to the added nesting-ruthlessness. There is a lot more I'd like to get rid of (like about half of our stuff), but at this point it becomes a matter of which relative I want to insult most. Anyone who comes over to our house, please feel free just to start tossing stuff in the trash. I would appreciate it!

Well, that's about all I can think of at the moment! I'll try to get busy on those other blog posts so that I can finish up at least the basics before this babe makes an entrance.

Love to all!

Birth Plans, Final Versions

2012-01-04T06:34:00.001-08:00

Here they are! (I welcome all input!!) One for home, one for transport:

***

Homebirth Birth Plan

- Please take lots and lots of pictures and videos! Of anything and everything, both graphic and modest. Would love pics of umbilical cord progression and also of red line phenomenon.

- I prefer to avoid cervical checks. In case it’s really necessary, please do not tell me my dilation unless it’s really necessary or it’s super-encouraging (i.e. complete!)

- I need lots of verbal support, coaching, and encouragement – please! And don’t be surprised that I’m really wimpy and extremely loud.

- For afterpains: Placenta smoothie as soon as the placenta is available – yogurt and OJ in fridge, mixed berries and bananas in freezer, blender on counter. Thank you!!! Also, I’d like to take four Advil and some Arnica and our afterpains tincture as soon as baby is out.

- Birth team – Snacks in fridge! Remember not to park on the street if it is Wednesday or Friday (use driveway or center section).

- Joe would love to catch and also cut the cord (delayed!).

- C. (our son) may or may not want to be present for the birth (undecided).

- In case of hospital transport:

o Someone grab the hospital bag, camera, and video camera

o Nab the placenta pronto! Don’t let it get away! Very important!

o Please do everything possible to advocate for delayed cord clamping, regardless of how the birth ends up (even with c/s).

o I would love still to practice placenta medicine as soon as is humanly possible.

o In case of cesarean, let’s talk probiotics for baby.

o Please make sure, in case of mother-baby separation, that one midwife/student/doula stays with both baby and Diana (esp. baby)

***

Hospital Transport Birth Preferences

- Parents: Diana J. & Joe J.

- To our hospital caregivers: Thank you for taking care of us!

- Our midwife is Stephanie S. (xxx-xxx-xxxx). Our doula is Rose D. (xxx-xxx-xxxx). We ask that one or both of them be able to stay with us at all times.

- I love verbal encouragement & coaching, the more the better.

- I tend to be rather loud during labor. Please just ignore me, I’ll be fine.

- I prefer to avoid cervical checks. In case it’s really necessary, please do not tell me my dilation unless it’s really necessary or it’s super-encouraging (i.e. complete!)

- Please do not clamp/cut the umbilical cord until it is completely finished pulsing, preferably until the placenta is out. We would love it if any neonatal resuscitation could be done near Diana so that the cord can remain intact. In case of cesarean, please still leave the cord to pulse as long as is possible. Joe would love to cut the cord.

- I would like an unmanaged 3rd stage and to deliver the placenta without assistance. Please, no Pitocin outside of emergency circumstances.

- We will take our placenta home with us.

- In case of cesarean birth: We would love still to have delayed cord clamping (as much as possible) during a cesarean birth.

- For Baby: Please, no Hep B shot, eye ointment, newborn screen (we will do this in a few days), or vitamin K (except in case of a physically traumatic birth). We will be breastfeeding. We would love uninterrupted mother-baby time immediately following the birth, baby’s health allowing.

- Thank you for your kindness, support, and care!

***

Questions? Thoughts? Anything to add?

Introducing Our Newest Arrival!!

2012-01-02T10:14:00.000-08:00

A little (or a lot) earlier than expected, but still very welcome - and absolutely gorgeous, of course!!

See beautiful pic below, along with various stats:

Oh, wait! How did that picture get in there? Sorry, my mistake. Our newest arrival is below:

Isn't it gorgeous?????

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Birth date: Sometime in the 1960's
Weight: About 400 lbs. and odd ounces
Length: ~ 3 1/2 feet

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Though I am excited (and nervous!) to announce that we are just one short week away from being in the window!! ("In the window" meaning being in the 36w-42w stage in which a birth would be considered term - though "term" has been redefined recently as 38 weeks - and which we could have a birth at home.

This past weekend, though, I did have an interesting labor scare. We were three hours away up north, when I was awakened at midnight by a definite and painful contraction. Bam! Then, 3-5 minutes later, another one. Bam! By that time, I was in complete emergency mode. Great... we're three hours away from home in preterm labor, we're going to have a baby too early in a hospital we've never seen, and without our midwife!!! Thankfully, those two contractions were it, and they have not repeated themselves (except for non-stop Braxton-Hicks).

I did learn a couple of lessons, though - one of which being that I needed to get started on listening to my Hypnobabies CDs!! (Especially since I started to panic with what were only the equivalent of wimpy early-labor contractions.) Even if it doesn't help, it helps me to feel prepared - so I started last night and plan to continue. If anyone has left it till the last minute, it is I!!!

And so, Happy April Fools! Or Happy New Year, or whatever. Love to all!

Reflecting on Past & Present

2012-01-02T09:57:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you've all had a great Christmas and New Year's! We had a fun time, and I'm also thankful to be moving past all of that. The clock is ticking!

We went north to DH's parents' house for New Year's, had a great time, and brought home one heck of a cold that DH is currently working through while we wait to see how it is going to move through the family (fun!). I'd be tempted to say that he caught it from a family member who came to our family reunion with a raging illness, but I'm not sure if 18 hours is too short a time from exposure to symptoms. In the meantime, bring on the Zicam!

This past year has been an interesting one! I spent four months of it being good and sick (though not seriously, especially compared to the past), and half of it being nauseated at some level. As for the first part of the year, I don't remember much of it! I remember dealing with the deaths of two beloved family friends (one church friend and our pediatrician), moving through the medical system while dealing with our little guy's issues, and spending every other moment on homemaking and parenting.

I love the idea of a new year, and a clean slate - but at the same time, I have learned - repeatedly! - through the years that making New Year's resolutions is, for me, a complete waste of time. I think my record to date for remembering my resolutions - let alone carrying them out - is approximately three hours. So, while I used to enjoy sitting down and making resolutions, I no longer waste time on it, as it is an effort in futility.

However, it's always good to sit back and reflect, and to plan for the future. So, in that spirit, here are the things that I am (not "will be") working on in my life and plan to continue working on:

(1) I am working on becoming a woman of the Word and a woman of prayer. These have been weaknesses for me, and I am working on rectifying this. I have also come to realize that I cannot give away what I do not myself possess, so I want to work on my own spiritual life so that I will have more to give away to my children.

(2) I am working on neglecting my hobbies (birth activism, blogging, Facebook) in order to focus-focus-FOCUS on the important things in my life, that is, marriage, parenting and homemaking. All of these are challenges for me. Marriage is hard, all the more so after having children. Homemaking is a challenge, all the more so after having children. And parenting is beyond hard - all the more so after having children, LOL! (It was a lot easier to be an armchair parent!!). I would be lying if I said that parenting was anything other than super-super-challenging - it has humbled and challenged me in so many ways, and it has also kicked my rear royally in even more ways. Any illusions I had of my own perfections have been shattered by dealing with parenting challenges - a good thing, but still an uber-challenge to develop my skills and keep up with this crazy thing.

(3) I am working on continuing to declutter. We still have waaayyyy too much stuff (and way more than I am comfortable with). My initial goal is to continue getting rid of things until we feel like we can fit comfortably into our home, rather than being shoe-horned in along with our stuff. It's amazing how many trips I can make to Goodwill and still not see a huge difference! But progress is coming.

And there you have it!

Off to do all the stuff I'm neglecting right now - Happy New Year, everyone!

Quick Check-in (34w1d)

2011-12-28T13:35:00.000-08:00

Hi, everyone! Another quick check-in between seeing our houseguests (my parents) off this morning and heading out to see DH's parents this weekend.

I am doing really well - still off of Zofran, and on just 1/2 tab of Unisom per day. Nausea is ever-present but is rarely problematic.

I made it through Christmas, hurray! And.... drum roll please.... our tree is down and put away! Any local friends are now faint from shock, as our tree usually stays up till sometime between St. Patrick's Day and April Fool's. But my ruthless decluttering habits have taken over holiday trappings as well as everyday things, and I have been champing at the bit to get decorations put away so that I can move on.

Speaking of decluttering.... wow! I have been impressing even myself! It's really quite laughable. I am pretty much trying to throw out anything that isn't tied down. And frankly, a lot of what is being kept is being kept only because there are various parties to answer to (i.e. the family that gave us the gifts) rather than any real need/want. But I've been doing really well anyhow - biweekly trips to Goodwill and continual give-aways on Freecycle, and I think it's making a bit of difference, though I'd still like to get rid of an easy 50% of the stuff we have left.

Decluttering has always been my instinctual method of stress-relief, and nesting has just thrown it into ultra-high gear, with an added dash of utter ruthlessness. I love it! It's given me the ability to get rid of a bunch of stuff that I've never wanted to keep but have been guilted into. Hopefully this can continue! I am really a minimalist at heart, and having stuff bothers me. My parents are continually urging me to just store stuff in the attic, but they just don't get it - having too much stuff bothers me horribly. I don't feel peaceful until it is gone and OUT of the house for good. My dream is to live in a one-room cabin in the mountain with just the basic necessities (bed, table, chair, etc.).

Have I wandered far enough for you? It's hard to write coherently with Thomas the Tank Engine in the background. In reading back over what I just wrote, I found at least five major spelling errors, so don't expect linguistic perfection today.

But Christmas was nice! We had a fun time, though I did get stressed the last couple of days. I usually am a Christmas minimalist as well, but I think I just left too many things till the last minute. Next year, must do better.

My favorite part of Christmas was having church on Christmas. Our church has church on Sunday Christmases, and I love it! Christmas church is just extra-special. I really wish that our church could do the old-fashioned practice of having church on Christmas regardless of the day it falls!!!

An update on my efforts to NWP (nurse while pregnant!) - We continue to plow ahead, but it is hard going. We are only a hair's breadth away from weaning, though I am fighting valiantly to keep on. Only six more weeks, only six more weeks! I'm hoping I can hang on. If I make it, this will go on my life list of great accomplishments. Why? Because it HURTS. Horribly! Sometimes worse than others - anywhere from "Ouch!!" to "YEOUUCCCHHHH!!!!" In fact, a couple of weeks ago, I actually - no joke! - took a wooden spoon into the bedroom so that I could bite on the handle (a la "Ben Hur") while nursing. (It was better than my fingers.) Conclusion? Wooden spoon handles are way too big - they need to come out with a thinner edition. But it helps. Local friends, you will now know why my wooden spoons are covered in bite marks when you come over and are puzzling over that fact.

For anyone who is clicking "Unsubscribe! Unsubscribe!".... yes, I think I am crazy. This is not an experience I want to repeat.

We have now passed over the 34 week mark - nerve-wracking! Very nerve-wracking. I know most people are anxious for their babies arrive, but I've never been anxious for a pregnancy to end (though I am looking forward to meeting baby). Why? Well, (1) labor hurts, and I'm a wimp, (2) babies are a lot easier to take care of in-utero than in-arms, and (3) having a new baby turns one's life - and sanity along with it - completely upside down for at least six months. Not fun! But it will be fun to meet our newest family member - and to have the nausea leave!!

Having a third baby is going to move me completely out of my comfort zone. As a matter of fact, baby #2 did that, but #3 will do it even more thoroughly. It's not even something in my recent family history! On my side of the family, we have only only-children and two-children families for at least three generations back, and DH himself has only one sister. Both my mother and my MIL had only one pregnancy (one singleton and one twin), so neither of them has dealt with children of different ages, and neither of them has dealt with three children. This is going to be the adventure of a lifetime!

Well, I could meander longer, but I have bored my poor readers long enough! I'll check in after New Year's, when we're back and unpacked. I hope that you all have had a lovely Christmas - enjoy the one remaining holiday this weekend!

Still Alive! (33w1d)

2011-12-21T07:12:00.000-08:00

Hi, everyone! Sorry it's been so long! And actually, it might have been even longer, but my family is coming in town today and I'll be MIA for another week, so I thought I would check in.

However, I am ridiculously short on time, so here are just a few quick tidbits of life from the valley of the Sun:

- I have been off of Zofran for about.... three weeks. It feels so nice! I am still taking 1/2 of a Unisom (or 1 Diclectin) per day. I went off of it one day this week, but it didn't last. I'll try again soon! I am feeling fairly well most of the time (except for when I feel rotten). The nausea is always here, but it's not usually too much of a problem. Night before last I actually had to get up in the middle of the night to take some Unisom because the nausea wouldn't let me sleep, but that's unusual.

- Other pregnancy symptoms - breathlessness, exhaustion, muscle fatigue, pelvic pain, difficulty walking, the usual. :)

- I forgot to say that I did my hospital tour a few weeks ago - had a great time! It was so much fun. Hopefully I'll never actually end up there, but it's a nice feeling to know that if we do need to go in, I like the place where we'd be going and feel at least mildly comfortable there. You can read my review of that here.

- Our actual Lepkuchen Day went really well, and we enjoyed it tremendously. Thanks to all who joined us! (And to those who would've but couldn't!) You can read about Lepkuchen Day here. This year our dates were screwy - it's supposed to be the Saturday before Thanksgiving, but our fearless Lepkuchen-Day-founders had to mess with the dates so that they could fly back east for their daughter's new baby (birth story here! as well as more about Lepkuchen Day).

- Remember the cat that was lost-and-then-found? Well, she got out and was gone for several weeks.... and then we found her again. And then last night, she slipped out again and is currently - again - missing. What a cat. Definitely not one to trust!

- For those of you who are curious about what goes on at a homebirth, and specifically, the supplies used at a homebirth, I wrote up the details in a post on my other blog - enjoy!

- Other pregnancy details: I am currently taking a calcium/magnesium supplement, Floradix (iron), alfalfa tablets (for vitamin K, as we plan to nix the vitamin K shot/drops), and all the usual other stuff (fish oil, multi, zinc, B complex, etc.). As my blood pressure was a wee bit high at our next-to-last visit, I am also working on that (fluids, protein, salt, exercise... and lots and lots of cucumbers!!). Thankfully at our visit last night, my BP was again behaving itself - hurray!

- Childbirth prep - I got out my Hypnobabies CDs!! And listened to a track.... once. Yup, it's bad. Or rather, I'm bad. I simply cannot summon the energy at the end of an exhausting day to stick on half an hour of CD listening. I ought to improve myself, really, but..... sleep calls. Maybe some other year.

- I am really enjoying getting to know our midwife - she is a really neat woman. Last night I had the privilege of chatting with her for an hour (I love midwife visits!!), and thoroughly enjoyed our conversation. I have also been attending her biweekly meetings for pregnant mamas, and those are great as well (and open to the public for anyone who's interested!).

- We are also enjoying the Christmas season! I am a minimalist about Christmas (as in most things), so I don't do half of the things that most people do, but I really prefer it that way and have a great time enjoying this month. We've been going out to look at lights and playing lots of Christmas music, and this week I'm going to do some minor baking (sugar cookies) and wrap a few minor presents - and that'll be about it! We don't exchange presents with half of our family (haven't convinced the other side to hop on that wagon), and we also don't give our own kids presents - sounds Grinchy, but being the only grandchildren on both sides of the family, they are so thoroughly spoiled that we soon found it to be pointless. (In fact, all of my decluttering efforts will probably be eaten up by an influx of Christmas presents....) We'll also attend church on Saturday and Sunday, which will be great - one of my favorite parts of Christmas! I hope that each of you out there is enjoying the holidays and having an enjoyable Christmas week.

- Lastly, I would ask for your prayers for a local HG mama here who is beginning her seventh - yes, seventh! - journey into the world of NVP/HG. She was holding her own until this week but is now beginning to experience the HG slide (we all know about that one) so she could really use your prayers.

I will try to check in more often as the last weeks of this pregnancy count down! Love to all! And a very Merry Christmas!

Vacation in Flagstaff

2011-12-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

And so, our vacation to Flagstaff! Here it is, in all its glory.

This is truly the vacation that almost didn't happen. Originally it was supposed to be in July, which was when I was good and sick, and it was rescheduled for September (still too sick).... then October (I got sick again, this time with a cold) and finally November. This truly was an event that required some muscle to have happen.

Despite living in the valley for over eight years, I have never been to Flagstaff (heresy!). So it was fun finally to see the town that everyone around here uses as a vacation spot, and in which half of our church's kids attend college.

This was a very short vacation, based on (1) cost, (2) time, and (3), the fact that we were using half of the time not for vacation, but for a trip back to Sedona for Thanksgiving with family. So our vacation was just three days - most of which was spent either holing up in our hotel room watching the food channel, because it was so cold, or trying to get kids ready to go out. Moms of many, you amaze me! Some days we weren't even leaving our room till 11 a.m., after dealing with all the getting up routines. Those of you who are up and out the door by seven really astound me.

Here are some of the things we did!

Snow and visiting the lumberjack at NAU:

Driving by a beautiful Catholic church in downtown Flagstaff. The monument outside (see below) reads, "Joseph's Carpenter Shop: In Memory to All Children Who Have Died Unborn, Known Only to God." How precious! I'm not sure if that is referring to all miscarriages and abortions, or to early miscarriages only, but it was still wonderful. I loved it.

Our hotel room:

Driving out of town to see Lake Mary. Never found Lake Mary (the GPS led us to some obscure ranger station that had nothing to do with a lake), but found the next best thing - more snow! DS played while the Chublet spent time being cute:

Our traditional trip stop at Dairy Queen, where DS talked non-stop to the girls at the front counter (mostly telling them about the Apollo 11 launch) and DH and I enjoyed pumpkin pie blizzards (they seriously need to up the pumpkin and spices in their recipe):

Inventing new uses for hotel ironing boards - improvisatory bed rails!

A quick stop at the Flagstaff mall:

We also stopped at the Little America hotel - it has lots of childhood memories for DH, and it's also where our church held its women's retreat a few weeks ago. I didn't make it to the retreat, but at least I drove by the hotel where it was held! That's got to count for something, right???

Then, in Sedona.....

Fun at our favorite place, Tlaquepaque:

At the labyrinth, which DS chose to do by running madly up and down the path:

(Note: On this trip, I had only two things to wear that were warm enough - a pair of maternity jeans which were, alas, too big - and thus were determined to obey the call of gravity rather than my attempts to make them obey societal rules of modesty, and a pair of overalls which I have dubbed the ugliest maternity pants in the universe. Below you will see the second of those modeled, as I work on my beached whale impression (these are so going to Goodwill!):

By Oak Creek:

Feeding the ducks at our favorite resort:

Other things we did:

- The Lowell Observatory - big hit, too bad we got there when it was closing - next time!

- Babies to Kids toy store - big hit!

- Local park to play

- Beaver Street Brewery for lunch - delicious gluten-free pizza!!

- Downtown Flagstaff

For Thanksgiving with the family, I tried my hand at a few gluten-free items - pumpkin pie (big success!), sweet potato casserole (also a success), and stuffing (err.... ask me next year after I've had a chance to try again).

So, all in all, a good trip. Not as fun as last year, and it didn't help that I was feeling tired, nauseated, out of sorts, and battling an overwhelming desire to go home and scrub the baseboards with bleach (nesting urge continues unabated). But we got through it and had fun. Hopefully next year's trip will be a little less hectic!

This morning blog post was brought to you courtesy of a small boy - who shall remain unnamed - who slept in until ten o'clock. By which means I know that we have serious work to do on our bedtimes around here!

Laborious Thoughts, or What Have I Gotten Myself Into Now?

2011-12-04T21:21:00.000-08:00

The clock is ticking! The countdown is on.... we are roughly two months out from baby's arrival, give or take a few weeks. And as that unknown date approaches, I find myself - once again! - intimidated by the thought of going through childbirth again.

Really, I thought I'd gotten past all of that. After all, I've had two unmedicated homebirths. While they were tough and extremely challenging, they were also empowering, transformational, and life-changing. I'm very happy with them.

But.... they were also hard. And the thought of doing it again is quite intimidating.

Of course, it doesn't help that - aside from the usual Bradley exercises - I haven't really done any preparation for this birth. We briefly considered taking childbirth classes, but the astronomical cost (class + babysitting = big bucks) was a bit off-putting. And my free time seems to have dwindled to near-zero, so the thought of listening to a 30-40 minute Hypnobirthing or Hypnobabies tape every night - when I am dead tired and just wanting SLEEP - is less than motivating.

So there it is! I find myself fearing this upcoming birth. Which I shouldn't, of course. My body was made to do this, I can trust God to get me through it, and I have an amazing birth team to support me - DH, one of our doulas from last time, and a great valley midwife.

And I know I'll get through it. It's just the challenge of doing so!

One thing that I know will help is the fact that we have a great doula. The difference between my first and second births, doula-wise, was amazing. With our first birth, we had a lovely woman as doula, but she was just too hands-off for what I needed. I'm the wimpy kind who needs coaching and hand-holding through each and every contraction (though I didn't know that at the time). With my second birth, my two doulas were absolutely awesome (they're the hand-holding type!), and it was so much better. I had no idea what a difference a doula could make!! Absolutely phenomenal.

And of course, it always helps to have done it before. At least there's no fear of the unknown.

So... Does anyone out there have any suggestions for labor prep? Advice, suggestions, stern lectures, etc.? If so, bring it on!

In the meantime, I'll just get back to my chanting - "I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!" (Or maybe not, since I can't stand that children's book. Must find new mantra.)

Thanksgiving, The Realistic Version

2011-12-01T18:27:00.000-08:00

*FOODMENT* If you are actively dealing with NVP, just skip this entry entirely!

This past week, while we were vacationing in Flagstaff (and when it was mostly too cold to be outside), we got the chance to watch one of our favorite TV chefs whip up a Thanksgiving meal. With proper advance preparation, he promised that his plan would result in only four hours in the kitchen on Thanksgiving to produce the feast.

With all respect (and really, I love this guy), that "quick and easy" meal would have had me in the kitchen at least twice that time, and most of it in either near-tears or extreme irritability.

And really - four hours? While trying to entertain family and guests, watch two children (one of whom will doubtless be in a state of uber-hyperactivity) and gestate another, and deal with fatigue from having been up several times the previous night due to one cause or another??

Definitely asking for a meltdown. And lost tempers. And at least one fight with the hubs, which always makes an event so happy and meaningful.

And so, without further ado, I present my set of tips for a quick-and-easy non-meltdown-producing Thanksgiving, fitted especially for the family with young children.

Tip #1:

Make it a potluck. One person cooking for the whole gathering is an enormous burden. Spread the love. And hopefully get some other poor sucker to make the turkey and dressing. (I'm on my ninth married Thanksgiving and have yet to cook a Thanksgiving turkey.)

Tip #2:

Use disposable serving/baking dishes.

This one will have people up in arms, due to either the environment or degradation of cultural ideals. But there are several times in life when disposable is just plain good. (Other times are while moving, while dealing with NVP, or in the immediate postpartum.)

If you want to take the heresy to the next level, use disposable plates and cutlery. I won't say whether or not I've done this, but if I had done this, it might have been absolutely wonderful.

Don't get me wrong - I love proper serving dishes. But there are some times in life when ideals go out the window. I'm discovering that living with small children is one of those times.

Tip #3:

The biggest one of all:

Don't cook.

On Thanksgiving, at least! Advance cooking rules. This really saves my sanity, especially as there is no better way to provoke bad behavior in hyper five-year-olds than to spend four hours in the kitchen on Thanksgiving morning rushing about and saying "Don't bother mommy right now! I need to cook!"

All mothers in the audience are already wincing and nodding in agreement.

Here are a few links. Make in advance, then freeze!:

For dessert:

Libby's Pumpkin Pie - The recipe says not to freeze; I have no idea why, because it worked just fine - just thaw for 8 hours in the fridge.

Pumpkin Cheesecake

Other:

Make-Ahead Mashed Potatoes - Make up to three days in advance and refrigerate, or freeze.

Cranberry Sauce - Make several days in advance. Just a note, I have never had any luck with this recipe as written - it comes out very runny. If you like a good stiff cranberry sauce, add the berries at the beginning (instead of after boiling the syrup) and boil considerably longer than the recipe calls for.

Sweet Potato Casserole - Freeze, thaw overnight in fridge, then cook covered to heat (will take longer than called for) and uncovered to brown.

There are tons of other make-ahead recipes; just Google it! You get the picture. When my sister-in-law hosted Thanksgiving, she even made the turkey and dressing the day before - and it was great.

Tip #4:

Just a side note: When life gets really stressful, don't feel badly about cheating (storebought) or bowing out. When I had my round of true hyperemesis, we ended up bowing completely out of both Thanksgiving and Christmas because I couldn't even handle food (let alone eat it). That's okay. Last year when some friends of ours were recovering from the swine flu over Thanksgiving, they bought their dinner from the grocery store. That's okay. And when there are pregnancies, illnesses, new babies, and young children in the house, sometimes the easiest way out is the best. Period! Don't feel badly when shortcuts are necessary.

Several years ago, I hosted Thanksgiving for DH's side of the family. We split the cooking among three families, so each family only had to make a few things. We all used disposable baking/serving dishes. I made all of my dishes in advance. I won't say whether or not we used disposable plates/cups/cutlery.

It was the nicest Thanksgiving I've ever had, and the one in which there was the least irritability ("Ack! I've got three pots boiling over on the stove! Don't bother me!!!"), the least despair ("We've eaten and now we have a good solid two hours of dishes to do. Kill me now.") and the most family time spent together celebrating the holiday. It was wonderful.

Enough heresy for the day. I'll check in soon - maybe even report in on our vacation, which actually did finally happen!! Love to all!

Quick Update (28w4d)

2011-11-19T07:10:00.000-08:00

Hello, everyone! Goodness, it's been a long time - an entire month! My apologies!! And, having been so long, it's doubtless that I shall forget most things of import. But an update nevertheless.

NVP-wise, doing okay. Some days are better than others, but I'm mostly off of Zofran. For the most part, except for particularly bad days, I just feel mildly nauseated about half the time. Not too bad.

This month has been incredibly busy, but for the life of me I can't remember what on earth we have been doing. Let's see if I can pull out a few snippets:

- We went on our first field trip with our homeschooling support group, to Schnepf Farms. Despite having heard about this place for years, this was our first time out there. DS's favorite part? The playground, of course. Forget the animals, vegetables, etc. - let's go for the swing set! And then, of course, after spending the entire morning saying "When can we leave?", our actual departure was met with "But I don't waannnnaaaa go!!!" What else?

- Our little Chublet is doing amazingly well! We have not picked up with a new Physical Therapist after our last one left her post, but he is still moving slowly ahead meeting milestones - confirming my thoughts that PT wasn't really doing him much good. And life is much nicer with fewer therapists! So we're just sticking with our other two therapists and throwing PT to the wind for a while.

The Chublet has progressed into his first-ever solid foods - he is now eating small slices of ripe banana, cooked sweet potato, and macaroni - hurray!

In physical milestones, he is doing a lot of knees/elbows (new!), bouncing in his door bouncer (also new!), swinging in the baby swing at the playground (also new, his new favorite activity), and lots of other stuff. His main loves still include mealtime (he can out-eat any of us), bath time, and sitting on my lap while I play the piano. If one walks by the piano while holding him and pauses for just a moment, he will have a tantrum while being taken away, because he zeroes in on that piano like a laser beam - it's hilarious.

- In homeschooling, we have just completed our seventh week of curriculum. Hurray! It has definitely been filled with challenges, and I know that I am going to face major hurdles with our son when I actually add in hard-core academics (math, handwriting, etc.) because he does not have one academic bone in his body. Natural curiosity, ingenuity, and mechanical brilliance - yes. Academics - not a bit. Oh well, that challenge is for next year!

- Our visits with our midwife continue to go well. She is a ton of fun, and I love talking with her. She has an absolutely brilliant mind, and probably one of the best minds for facts/figures-retention that I've ever met. If you ever want some birth stats reeled off to you (say, the cesarean rates by state for the past twenty years), just ask and she'll tell you! She's amazing. Baby is continuing to do well, and we're continuing to plan for a guess-arrival-date of early February.

Though it's getting a little late to be thinking about this, I've been thinking lately that I really do need to do some sort of childbirth prep. Lately I've had some good and painful Braxton-Hicks contractions, the kind that approach easy first-stage labor (no, I'm not going into preterm; this happens every time), and I get panicky with them - "No, I can't do this! Must have pain meds!" Apparently I haven't learned much from my first labors. Suggestions, anyone?

In my personal life, I can tell that I am stressed the fact that I am constantly prowling the house looking for things to scrub or throw out. That seems to be my chosen method of stress-relief! (I talked to a girl last week who said that when she gets stressed, she finds herself hoarding things - I am glad I got the opposite tendency!) Decluttering the house is going well, and I'm slowly moving through my before-baby list of things to do.

If we can all avoid getting sick in the next 24 hours, we will be leaving to go on vacation - hurray! It'll be super-short (less than 3 days), but at least it's finally happening after the hundred-and-one delays. I'll post pics when we get back!

I know I've forgotten a lot, but that's all for now!

Endless Impossibilities

2011-11-17T07:33:00.000-08:00

Hi, everyone! I really do need to do an official check-in - look for that over the next three days and bug me if I forget, eh?

In the meantime, I am doing well. That resurgence of NVP lasted in earnest only for one week, and then receded again - thank goodness! Now I just spend about half the time mildly nauseated, sometimes a bit worse, but that's about it - nothing to complain about. And I'm once again almost off of Zofran - not quite, but almost.

Anyhow, the other day I finally got all of my thoughts down on paper as far as "things I want to get done before the baby arrives." I think it's doable!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

No, in reality, I might get a third of it done pre-baby. Might. As in "probably not, but whatever." But I thought I'd share it with you all!

In the meantime, despite my ardent desire to skip to the holidays and put in the time scrubbing the house down with bleach, I am working through Thanksgiving cooking and getting ready for our trip next week (provided no one gets sick AGAIN).

Here's my list!

("SAT." refers to a project with which I need hubbie's help, and so is a "Saturday" project.)

To-Do List Before Baby

Done:
- Clean out and file 2010 papers
- Get back into life – routine, child-training, schedules, AWANA/preschool, cleaning, cooking, MOMS Club and outings, etc.
- Start homeschooling, buy curriculum
- Make appointment with Dr. P
- Make haircut appointment

Ongoing:
- Clean, organize, and declutter house

November:
- SAT. - Get started on stocking cars with emergency supplies, per the inventory list we have developed
- SAT. - Vacuum & wash under appliances
- SAT. - Clean high places in house – fans and ledges. Make note to seek out and murder whoever decided to put huge decorative (read: dust-collecting) ledges in each room in this house.
- Switch kids to winter clothes
- Clean & store fans
- Make my Christmas control journal!
- Write Christmas letter
- Address and mail Christmas letter
- Buy & wrap Christmas gifts
- Deal with Thanksgiving
- Go on vacation!
- Cook for Thanksgiving – cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie
- Re-do BOB (bug out bag) emergency kit

December:
- SAT. - Clean out garage
- Get G. sleeping through the night
- Move G. out of cradle into crib in his brother’s room
- Move G’s things to his new room
- Have DH fix our doula's computer for partial doula bartering
- Return computer to our doula, do any additional work
- Pay our doula by 36 weeks
- Pay our midwife at 34 week visit
- Buy or exchange car!
- Get carpets cleaned (need to find a good Groupon!)
- Go to Goodwill to get birth supplies (towels, plastic bowls)
- Finish making up birth supplies
- Replace pillows, buy covers for them
- Wash bedspreads & mattress covers
- Plan my lying-in: (1) Make list of places for DH and kids to go, and things to do
- Arrange for postpartum housekeeping (weekly for 4 weeks?)
- Arrange for regular housekeeping help for after that (bimonthly? Quarterly?)
- Deal with Christmas – cooking, gifts, stockings, houseguests, decorations
- Christmas cookies – baking day and giving out
- Prep meals in advance
- Pack hospital bag, add separate bag for C. and G. (clothes, toys, basic toiletries)
- Stock diaper bag and stroller
- Buy postpartum snacks (need ideas!)

January:
- Get or make mix for baby’s birthday cake!
- Make frosting for cake
- Buy non-perishable food/drink for birth team (granola bars, juice, etc.)
- Buy ingredients for placenta smoothies (yogurt, OJ, frozen berries)
- Print birth signs, put with birth supplies
- Order birth kit @ 34-35 weeks
- Stock up on paper plates, bowls, knives/forks/spoons

Right before baby (late January):
- Have smoothie ingredients
- Have cake mix ready

To-Do List When Labor Starts
- Notify midwife & doula
- Go to Sam’s Club: Sandwiches/lunchmeat tray, Fruit, Juice, Granola Bars, Frozen mixed berries, Orange Juice
- Double-make bed
- Set out birth supplies
- Scrub out tub
- Put up birth signs
- Straighten up, check laundry, etc.
- Make a cake!

****

I'll check in later in the week, everyone! Love to all!

In Which an Unwanted Guest Returns (25w5d)

2011-10-30T13:08:00.000-07:00

I'll check in for real (as in, a life update) sometime soon, but in the meantime....

Remember that whole "I'm off Zofran!" thing? Well, it was extremely short-lasting - 24 hours, to be precise. I've been back on the stuff ever since, and have actually had to increase the dosage - back to 8 mg Zofran and two Diclectin per day. And unfortunately, I've gone from "I'm feeling okay most of the time!" to "I'm feeling blech!" for about half of the day.

Not that that's anything to complain about. Because it's not! I have much to be grateful for. After all, HG has been avoided this pregnancy, and I'm pretty much completely functional - I'm eating, cooking, teaching, going places, doing a wee bit of housework - nothing to complain about.

So I'll keep my whining to a strict minimum, I promise!

But it is odd. I have never experienced the third-trimester NVP-return before, so it is odd that it seems to be occurring during my by-FAR easiest pregnancy ever. I don't really know what to expect (is it going to get worse? will it last till the end?) or what to do about it (besides the meds). Hopefully it will go away, because I was starting to finally enjoy this pregnancy!!

More later, right now it is NAP TIME, hurray!!!

Birth Plan Rough Drafts: Home and Hospital and Transport, Oh My!

2011-10-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

I've been working on these for ages - here they are, for your consideration and amusement!! Rough drafts only, hopefully to be finished up in the next 10 weeks or so so that they can be printed and ready to go.

A few notes (and I'll add more notes throughout the document):

- I have tried to utilize Rixa's "Just Do It!" principle, which I absolutely love. A quote from that:

"What if we simply stopped asking permission? What if we simply did what we wanted to? What if the mantra of laboring women became "don't ask, just do"?

"Don't ask if you can eat or drink. Just do it. Don't ask if you can get out of bed or walk around or go to the bathroom. Don't ask if you can change positions or give birth kneeling or squatting. Just do it.

"Do it with confidence. Do it with an "I know what I'm doing, and please don't mess with me!" attitude.

"Just do it."

With that in mind, I have tried to eliminate everything from my birth plans that does not need the cooperation of hospital staff (this isn't an issue with homebirth). For example, I haven't written "I'll be eating and drinking" or "I'll be laboring in different positions" - in those cases, I would just do it. Good thing to remember! (Also cuts down on verbage.)

You will notice that I have a hospital birth plan in here as well as a transport plan - this is just for my own amusement (I love writing birth plans!), as we are not planning a hospital birth. A hospital birth plan is considerably different from a transport plan - for example, a hospital birth plan might say "no pain meds, no IV, etc. etc. etc.," but in case of a transport, we probably need whatever is being offered!

You will also notice that the homebirth plan is considerably different from a hospital or transport plan, and this is because (thank goodness!) I don't have to fight my homebirth midwives on the subject of unwanted interventions like restricted mobility, restricted food/liquid intake, routine IV insertion, continuous fetal monitoring, etc. etc. etc. Good stuff.

I have also tried not to mention anything that isn't vitally important to me. For example, you will see repeated mentions of delayed cord clamping - because that is extremely, extremely important to me. An absolute must. But birthing positions, on the other hand, are not important to me - and thus I have not mentioned them. It's not that I don't know that certain positions are better than others, but for me, by the time I get to pushing, I don't care what position I'm in simply because I loathe pushing so much (please remember that most women love the pushing phase!). So for me, I don't care if I'm squatting, lying down, whatever - so I didn't write about that.

I have also tried to (1) keep each plan brief (each is under one typed page), and (2) keep each plan friendly rather than combative/confrontational - both good things to do when interfacing with hospital staff.

I'd love some input here! Have I missed anything? Comments welcome!!

******

Homebirth Birth Plan

- Please take lots and lots of pictures and videos! Of anything and everything, both graphic and modest.

- I prefer to avoid cervical checks. In case it’s really necessary, please do not tell me my dilation unless it’s really necessary or it’s super-encouraging (i.e. complete!).

- I really don't know how women can stand knowing their dilation - to me, anything other than "ten!" is incredibly discouraging. I learned that with my first birth, and now it's a must.

- I need lots of verbal support, coaching, and encouragement – please! And don’t be surprised that I’m really wimpy and extremely loud.

- For afterpains: Placenta smoothie as soon as the placenta is available – yogurt and OJ in fridge, mixed berries and bananas in freezer, blender on counter. Thank you!!! Also, I’d like to take four Advil and some Arnica as soon as baby is out.

- With both my babes, extreme afterpains have prevented both immediate bonding and immediate breastfeeding. After I learned how much placenta medicine helped, I determined to make that an immediate priority. I'd like someday to be able to enjoy the immediate postpartum!

- Birth team – Snacks in fridge! Remember not to park on the street if it is Wednesday or Friday (use driveway or center section).

- J. would love to catch and also cut the cord (delayed!).

- C. (our son) may or may not want to be present for the birth (undecided).

- In case of hospital transport:
          o Someone grab the hospital bag, camera, and video camera
          o Nab the placenta pronto! Don’t let it get away! Very important!
          o Please do everything possible to advocate for delayed cord clamping, regardless of how the birth ends up (even with c/s).
          o I would love still to practice placenta medicine as soon as is humanly possible.

******

Hospital Transport Birth Preferences

- Parents: Diana J. & Joe J.

- To our hospital caregivers: Thank you for taking care of us!

- Our midwife is Stephanie ------ of --------- Birth Services (XXX-XXX-XXXX). Our doula is ------- (XXX-XXX-XXXX). We ask that one or both of them be able to stay with us at all times.

- I love verbal encouragement, the more the better.

- I tend to be rather loud during labor. Please just ignore me, I’ll be fine.

- I prefer to avoid cervical checks. In case it’s really necessary, please do not tell me my dilation unless it’s really necessary or it’s super-encouraging (i.e. complete!)

- Please do not clamp/cut the umbilical cord until it is completely finished pulsing, preferably until the placenta is out. We would love it if any neonatal resuscitation could be done near Diana so that the cord can remain intact. In case of cesarean, please still leave the cord to pulse as long as is possible. Joe would love to cut the cord.

- I would like an unmanaged 3rd stage and to deliver the placenta without assistance. Please, no Pitocin outside of emergency circumstances.

- A lot of hospitals practice routine pitocin administration during 3rd stage, even during uncomplicated births. I would like to avoid that.

- We will take our placenta home with us.

- In case of cesarean birth: We would love still to have delayed cord clamping (as much as possible) during a cesarean birth.

- For Baby: Please, no Hep B shot, eye ointment, newborn screen (we will do this in a few days), or vitamin K (except in case of a physically traumatic birth). We will be breastfeeding. We would love uninterrupted mother-baby time immediately following the birth, baby’s health allowing. Please make sure in case of mother-baby separation that Joe stays with the baby.

- Thank you for your kindness, support, and care!

********

Hospital Birth Preferences

- Parents: Diana J. & Joe J.

- To our hospital caregivers: Thank you for taking care of us!

- No IV or heplock.

- This is an absolute must, no discussion allowed. And if someone did stick me with an IV, I would immediately rip it out. It is that important. Period.

- I love verbal encouragement, the more the better.

- Please don’t offer me drugs. I would love a third unmedicated birth, but I am a wimp around pain and don’t need the temptation.

- I tend to be rather loud during labor. Please just ignore me, I’ll be fine.

- I choose to decline routine cervical checks. If a check is medically necessary, please do not tell me my dilation unless it’s really necessary or it’s super-encouraging (i.e. complete!).

- Please do not clamp/cut the umbilical cord until it is completely finished pulsing, preferably until the placenta is out. We would love it if any neonatal resuscitation could be done near Diana so that the cord can remain intact. In case of cesarean, please still leave the cord to pulse as long as is possible. Joe would like to cut the cord.

- I would like an unmanaged 3rd stage and to deliver the placenta without assistance. Please, no Pitocin outside of emergency circumstances.

- We will take our placenta home with us.

- In case of cesarean birth: We would love still to have delayed cord clamping (as much as possible) during a cesarean birth.

- For Baby: Please, no Hep B shot, eye ointment, newborn screen (we will do this in a few days), or vitamin K (except in case of a physically traumatic birth). We will be breastfeeding. We would love uninterrupted mother-baby time immediately following the birth, baby’s health allowing. Please make sure in case of mother-baby separation that Joe stays with the baby.

- Thank you for your kindness, support, and care!

Friday (24w3d)

2011-10-21T18:45:00.000-07:00

Hi, everyone! Sorry it has been so incredibly long since I checked in! Last week we had an impromptu visit from my parents, and life has just been incredibly busy around here with homeschooling and trying to reconstruct my life post-NVP (the usual!).

Speaking of NVP, today is (can you guess????)...... drum roll, please..... my first day without Zofran!!!! Yes!!! Really!!! (*Insert wild party dance here*) My nausea levels have been dropping even more drastically these past few weeks, allowing me to drop a medication dose every couple of days. So far today I have had only one Diclectin (Unisom), and if all goes well I'll be cutting that out soon too. Can you believe it?? Last time I was on Zofran till the early-thirty-something weeks; this time it has been so much sooner. I am so grateful!

Homeschooling is going pretty well.... considering the moderate dose of schooling that we're starting with, there aren't any huge difficulties to overcome (we're done each day in under an hour) - the true challenges will probably start next year - or rather, when our new babe arrives and I'm trying to homeschool a kindergartener with two babies underfoot. I think life is going to get pretty hairy after this new little one arrives!

Speaking of arrivals, the birth of this babe is looking a lot closer from this side of twenty weeks! Yikes!! Not only is the thought of birth intimidating (it always is!), but I have so much to do before then! Getting through the holidays, organizing my birth supplies, decluttering the house... more than I can ever possibly accomplish. But I'll do my best.

Speaking of decluttering, I have arisen out of the mists of NVP to find - as usual - that our house was trashed in the process. It gets worse with each child, I'm afraid! But unfortunately, my decluttering time also decreases with each child. So right now I'm using a method that works well for me - printing off a blank calendar and just trying to write in one small decluttering project that I've done each day, regardless of how small (usually it's just cleaning out one drawer, or some such thing). I'm also using the "Throw Out 100 Things" challenge - writing down things as I toss them in order to find further motivation.

Other family news:

Last week we had our first majorly-bleeding-child episode as parents. No one saw what happened, but it was something along the lines of run-slip-fall-crack in the kitchen, with the end result that our eldest ended up with a nice gash on his head that bled copiously - everywhere! When the blood was cleared up and staunched, it turned out to be only about an inch long, but my goodness - how it bled! Add into that mix a thoroughly hysterical child, and you'll get an idea of the fun we had. Thankfully my dad was around - he has absolutely no nerves (the end result of having grown up as a mortician's son and being trained in the business) and was able to take command of the situation beautifully. We didn't end up having to go into the hospital, and all is well.

Also last week, in the next episode of "the lost and found cat" - said cat is now, once again, lost. She managed to slip out of a cracked door, and despite an hour long hunt by DH, has once again vanished into the mist. We have no idea when or if we'll see her again.

I have mixed feelings on the subject. On the one hand, she is a great cat and I don't want her going hungry out there. On the other hand, I definitely was not thrilled to have another cat, especially as it is so difficult navigating between warring cats (our other cat is a bully) - should she come back, I will be actively searching for a new home for her. For now, we wait.

Big news of today - I finally got our little dude to voluntarily take some solid food, and without (too much) gagging!! It was thinly sliced quartered banana, and I got him to take it with each meal - by dinner time, he was eager for it! This is major, major, major improvement and progress, and super-exciting. I'm thinking of other things I can try - pear? watermelon? Anything to finally move forward!

We saw our midwife two weeks ago, and all is well with baby - perfect measurements, all looking well. I really enjoy talking with her and getting to know her better, and we're having a lot of fun.

Well, I'd probably be getting on with chores for the evening! I hope everyone is well, and I'll try to check in again soon!

HG Article

2011-10-03T22:32:00.000-07:00

Knocked Up, Knocked Over posted a link to this article a few weeks ago, and I wanted to cross-post to make sure you all had the opportunity to see it. Enjoy! (Hat tip to Molly for posting, and to Ellen for reminding me of it! Thanks, ladies!)

Checking In (21w6d)

2011-10-03T21:18:00.000-07:00

It seems to be the unfortunate truth that the crummy part of pregnancy passes more slowly than a small eternity, while the better part is over in a flash - I cannot believe how quickly time is passing!!

Feeling good, just nauseated most of the time - nothing to complain about. Life is good.

As of today.... we are an official homeschooling family! Hurray!!

I know I started "homeschooling" a month ago with homemade curricula, but let me say, friends.... never again. I am not a homemade-curriculum kind o' gal. It was time-consuming, confusing, and didn't go down very well with our son. You ladies out there who delight in researching and constructing your homeschool materials from scratch - I really take my hat off to you! You are amazing! It's just something that's not for me.

How did today go?

Not too badly, considering. The reading lesson went fairly smoothly, except for the last task which involved.... horror of horrors..... writing. That is, our son's most hated and loathed activity, to be avoided at all costs (which he systematically has done for his entire childhood). I thought "100 Easy Lessons" was non-writing, but there is a wee bit of writing in it. Oh well, we'll see.

The Sonlight curriculum went really quickly - much more so than I expected! Their real books selection is truly excellent and includes a wide variety of the best literature.

Two quick criticisms:

One, there is a lot of page-flipping in the lesson plan notebook - a bit cumbersome.

Two, we had major trauma when we reached the end of the first chapter of "The Boxcar Children" and then told our son "No more till tomorrow!" I guess it's a good thing that he was upset about that! At first I held to that, but later I threw caution to the wind and we read three more chapters. I figured that since I actually have the first 20 or so book in the series, we could just keep reading through the series when we run out of chapters in the first book.

I also skipped the discussion questions (the typical kind, "What kinds of food did the children have with them?" etc. etc. etc.) Right now, those are still in the "pulling teeth" category with our guy. May add them in at a later date, but for now he has made his comprehension completely clear by the fact that he is now basically living out the book series in his own fantasy world. Good stuff.

All in all, everything took only about 45 minutes. Perfect for now!

In other news...

We are now almost through our third week of being gluten-free (as a couple; we haven't tried to impose it on the kidlets). It has been fairly easy, especially after the uber-difficult VLC diet! Not bad at all.

Within days of starting, DH had started losing weight and noticed the disappearance of an arthritic complaint in his shoulder. And, most importantly - and amazingly! - by the end of the first five days, he was almost completely rid of the chronic stomach troubles which have plagued him for his entire adult life (far longer than the 10 years I've known him). WOW! We were completely amazed!!

But then I realized..... Oh, crumbs! We started out on this as a bit of a lark..... but having now noticed such amazing effects with DH, we are now going to have to stay GF (gluten-free) by necessity. Hobbies are a dangerous thing!!! Be forewarned!

So now we are starting off on the adventure of becoming a gluten-free family! Nothing strenuous, nothing at the celiac-level (i.e. cleansing one's entire house of every speck of gluten), but wheat is definitely out for DH, and I'm doing it too (though I'll probably cheat every now and then). It's fun, though! And I made some grain-free muffins on Sunday (almond flour!) that were honestly some of the best muffins I've ever eaten. So it's an adventure!

I am also thinking of taking the plunge and going dairy-free too.... not because I want to.... I have an even bigger love affair with dairy than I do with wheat.... but because the only time I saw my problem with fatigue vanish was when I was doing the Paleo diet (which is grain-free, sugar-free, and.... *sigh*.... dairy-free). Bummer! But worth an experiment. I'm so tired of dealing with fatigue!! So I'm going to give it a go as of Wednesday. I'll report back in.

DH is losing weight, but as for me - I am still gaining at an alarming pace! My body really seems to cling to every last calorie when I'm pregnant. Not thrilled about it, but it is sooooo much better than losing weight rapidly due to active HG! So I'm not complaining!

However, I'm tired of stressing about it, so I finally emailed our midwife and asked if I could stop keeping track of my weight. She said sure! Actually, I think her actual words were more along the lines of, "This is YOUR baby, YOUR body, and YOUR birth, so make your decisions and stop asking for permission to do things!" LOL We have the most awesome midwives around here! I love it.

We've rescheduled our vacation for November - I am already guessing that we'll get sick AGAIN just in time to have to cancel (as I said, we really have an uncanny ability to get sick just in time for holidays and planned events), but I'm going to do my best! AND by cutting one night off of our stay and going during the week, we are going to be able to shave $110 off of our hotel bill! Awesome!

Okay, I would write more, but I'm just feeling too nauseated at the moment! Love to all! Have a great week!

An Amazing HG Story

2011-10-02T19:57:00.000-07:00

This story comes from a client of my midwife, here in town, who had her babe two weeks ago. (She is a client of both my midwife and one of my doulas, also mentioned.) She has an amazing story, and I wanted to share it!

The more I delve into the HG world, the more I realize how blessed I was in regard to the "mildness" of my HG. When I came out of my HG pregnancy, I was under the impression that I had been to Hell and back and had personally grappled with Satan himself. That's what that pregnancy felt like. But when I read stories like this (and like the stories of lots of you mamas out there), I realize how easy I had it. You ladies out there are such amazing warriors for your little ones.

Here goes!

(I have put all names as initials to protect privacy.)

*****

For those who don't know, I had a very challenging pregnancy. I struggled with hypermesis gravidarum (HG) for nearly the entire time. HG is basically a severe form of morning sickness. It is kind of like having food poisoning that lasts for weeks on end, but it's not. It is so much worse.

Please know that I haven't covered everything that I experienced or felt during my pregnancy. Some things are just too painful to rehash. However, I am trying really hard to heal from all the damage HG caused. I'm hoping by letting some of this out, I can help myself let it all go. I don't want to hold on to these feelings anymore, especially now that A. is here. It is her time now, and I don't want anything to come between us anymore.

I do also share what I believe is the proudest moment of my life. I am so thankful that I was able to give A a beautiful, quiet, peaceful, and loving birth. With everything that she had to experience while growing in my belly, it just fills me with joy to know she had the most perfect arrival.

Lastly, I talk a little about what is going on postpartum. To tell you the truth, I never expected to be dealing with my HG issues AFTER birth. Yes, I am not nauseous. Yes, I can eat anything I want. Yes, I'm not puking. Don't get me wrong, all these things are wonderful, but I still haven't healed emotionally. I knew HG had taken its toll on me, but I guess I didn't realize just how hurt I am by it all. I honestly thought once Aria was here, it would all fade away like a bad nightmare. Unfortunately that just hasn't been the case.

My Pregnancy

At 5 weeks, I am exhausted. Not just sleepy tired, but down right run down. All I could do was sleep. At 6 weeks the nausea and vomiting have started. By 9 weeks I can barely keep any food or drink down. At this point I see a doctor for a prescription of Zolfran to help calm my issues. The meds don’t seem to be helping and I go a couple days without being able to keep food or drink down. Exhausted and dehydrated I go to the ER. Weeks 10 through 12 are a huge struggle. I’m vomiting about 15 to 20 times a day. Nothing is staying down, not even water. I get a different prescription for Phenergan. This medication completely knocks me out. It was so hard to believe that a medication which had that strong of an effect on my body could truly be safe for my baby, but my hands were tied. Not eating and drinking wouldn’t be safe for the baby either. Week 13 and home health care has finally been setup and approved. A nurse comes out and hooks me up to an IV and Zolfran pump. I have the IV on and off for the next five weeks. The Zolfran pump stays for the next three months. Weeks 14 through 25 are horrible. Even with the medication and IV I am puking everything that passes my lips. At one point the only way I could keep small amounts of water down was to blend ice and eat the snow. I was a freaking mess. By 26 weeks I manage to be off the pump. I am still puking at least 4 times a day, but when you drop down from 20, 4 seems like a piece of cake. At least at this point I can keep food and water down. I am still taking oral meds once in a while, however I am trying really hard not to. Weeks 27 through 37 are better. By no means was I back to normal. I would still have some good days, and then have some crappy days (crappy really isn’t a strong enough word…). But again I was actually able to keep food and drink down, even though I was still vomiting. Weeks 38 through 41 and I feel much better. I only vomit a couple times during these weeks, but the nausea is still there.

Needless to say, being pregnant has been one of the worst things to happen to me. Thank you HG. HG robbed me of a time in my life that was supposed to be exciting, beautiful, fun, joyful, etc. HG took away my ability to connect with our unborn baby. How could I love something that was causing me such pain and sickness? At times I was actually resentful towards our baby. I would sit and cry for hours thinking about how horrible of a mom I was that I couldn't nurture and love this baby yet.

HG isolated me. Not just physically from the world around me, but also emotionally. Physically, I couldn't go anywhere. When you are puking all the time, it’s hard to leave the house. Then there was also the motion sickness. It was bad. I couldn't watch TV, look at a computer screen, read a book. It all made me horribly nauseous. Try passing time when all you can do it lay there. Well you can't. There was nothing to take my mind away from the HG, so I would sit there and just think about it all. Not good. Emotionally, I felt separated from everyone, especially any woman who was pregnant or had been pregnant. I HATED speaking to them about my pregnancy, especially when they started talking about theirs. They would talk about cute little cures like crackers and coke, or say they “know” how I felt because they puked too (although they still went to work, could drive, could eat and drink, you know pretty much function like a normal human being). It didn't help that I hated them and was jealous of them. It was really hard. It didn't feel like anyone could understand. But how could they?

HG almost took away A's homebirth. I'll never forget the appointment with my midwife where she looked at me and said something about 28 weeks. Honestly I don't remember her exact words, I just remember thinking I've got 10 weeks to pull myself together or I'm going to lose the homebirth too. That thought was almost unbearable. I was already super freaked about the amount of drugs being pumped into my body and the effects they were having on my baby. Then I had to start considering what would mostly likely happen at a hospital. Pitocin, epidural, IV's, antibiotics, high likely hood of c-section, oh and all the damn germs. I just didn't want that for my baby, but really it wasn't up to me. HG isn't something you can just "pony up" to and get over. You have no control, as much as you wish you did. Yet, by 26 weeks, I was off the pump and the home health care. I was still puking like 4 times a day, but that was manageable. Plus I could actually keep food and water down. The homebirth was saved. Thank God.

HG also forced me to compromise my morals. I am a vegetarian, but wasn't during my pregnancy. HG took that from me too. Beans, grains, fruits, vegetables, and nuts would all come up. And I mean all of it. Still at 38 weeks I could barely choke down a banana or raw carrot without my nauseous levels skyrocketing and puking. With this forced diet change also came a HUGE load of guilt. I couldn't stand the fact that my diet, well when I could eat, consisted of processed foods and meat. That's it. I freaked every time I thought about the lack of nutrition that I was giving my body. I mean if I wasn't giving myself the proper nutrients, how on earth was my baby getting what she needs?

My HG also took its toll on C. (husband). He was forced to take care of everything, and I mean everything. Working a full time job, feeding us, keeping the house clean, taking care of the animals, and the hardest part—taking care of me. Cleaning out bowls and bowls of puke. Helping me in and out of bed because the Zolfran pump made me so sore I couldn't do it alone. Plus, at times, I was even attached to an IV. Sore, strapped to a pump and connected to an IV… it's almost impossible to get around. He had to stab me every day with a needle, because the Zolfran injection sites cause so much trauma to your body that they have to be moved just about every day. Two months off the pump, and you could still feel the bumps in my legs. He would help me shower (when I actually could stand it, and even then I would often vomit afterwards), help me dress, brush my hair, help me to the toilet, you name it, C. had to do it for me. On top of all that, he had to deal with how mentally unstable I was. I was a wreck. I was sick, I was scared, I was sad, depressed, and worried. I was angry, helpless, fearful. I hated the guilt, the resentfulness towards baby and others. Really I was a MESS. Try and console that. You can't. You have to sit there and watch me cry, sit there and take it when I scream. Sit there and just watch me fall into a depression. Oh and of course I knew all this. I knew just how much stress I was putting on C., and it killed me.

I feel like I could go on and on about all the layers and layers of unhappiness, guilt, fear, sadness, and resentfulness that I feel about my pregnancy. I'm working really hard to let it all go, especially now that I have my beautiful daughter in my arms, but it is hard. I mean just the other day (yes I am taking about AFTER A's birth), I woke three times in the middle of the night to the sound of my Zofran pump going off. Each time it took me a while to shake all the bad feelings. Healing is a process I guess.

A's Birth

Sunday September 18th

I awake to what I thought were cramps. I soon realize these pressure waves are different. They are requiring a little more of my concentration, but I can still function quite normally. My midwife had promised me I would "know" when I was in labor, and since I was still questioning it I thought for sure it wasn't time yet. So I go about my day. My mom comes over for a visit. We order Mexican food, watch football (C's idea), chat and relax. It was a nice and relaxing day. That evening the pressure waves continue to get stronger, but again, I was still questioning it. I decide to make cupcakes and cookies for our doula and midwives. I was secretly hoping that if I made these treats my birthing time would start right away.

Monday September 19th

I text Rose (our doula) at 11 AM telling her the pressure waves are averaging 9 minutes apart. I've got ants in my pants just sitting at home, so C. and I head out for our two favorite things. Cassanova Pizza and Bergies Coffee. Pizza and coffee in hand we head back home. At 1 PM I text Rose that I can't exactly talk during the pressure waves anymore, but that they are still about 10 minutes apart. At 7 PM I text again saying they are 7 minutes apart and strong. I still remember during all this time not having that "ah ha" moment, and thinking well this can't be it then. But Rose suggested I give Stephanie (our midwife) a heads up, so I text her as well. 9pm and pressure waves are super strong and 4 minutes apart. 10 PM I call Rose and ask her to come over. At 11 PM Rose is over and she and C. work on setting up the pool.

Tuesday September 20th

My times are going to get murky now, but I have a rough idea of what went on. We have a very small water heater which meant it was going to take forever to heat the pool up, so C. went to put some water on the stove. Of course I just assumed that he was going to use our giant canning pot to heat up the water, but as I look over to the kitchen I see him filling up this tiny little pot of water. I start cracking up. I'm laughing so hard, I can barely speak. Here is my husband trying to fill this giant pool with a pot that holds about 12 cups of water. Good luck with that hunnie! It just seemed so silly to me, but it was really nice to have a good laugh. We eventually get the pool filled up and I get in. It feels good to be in the water, and the pressure waves seem to be slowing down and becoming less intense. I start chatting with Rose about if she should stay or go since things seemed to be slowing down. I just didn't know what to do.

As a side note, during this all this time our cat had been put away so he wouldn't be bothersome while setting everything up. Then the cat got let in. Less than two minutes in the room and our stinking cat jumps on the pool and puts three very nice puncture holes in the pool. So C. and Rose get to work breaking down the pool and setting up her other one. I have no idea how much time passes here. I just remember the pressure waves getting stronger again. Rose suggests I get back in the pool. The pressure waves are really taking my concentration now. Again, I have no idea how much time passes here, but around 3:15 AM I feel a pop. My water has broken. The pressure waves come and they come strong. Finally I have my "ah ha" moment. I know it is my birthing time now! Rose asks me to tell her when I start to feel pressure. I think I remember feeling that pressure right away, which I didn't like. It felt like I needed to use the bathroom. I was terrified of accidentally going to the bathroom in the pool. I know this can be a normal process for any woman in labor, pool or not, but I just couldn't do it. So C. helps me to the bathroom and I labor on the toilet. I was horrified that my husband had to see me in this position, but I was also horrified of going to the bathroom in the pool. Then eventually the pressure waves made me not care anymore.

Back in the pool and I try a new position leaning back against the pool. I sit through one pressure wave and it is horrible, so I tell myself I am going to "finger drop" for the next one. I don't know how I did it, since I hadn't been practicing my hypnobabies (Thank you HG) but I manage to "finger drop" getting through the pressure wave much easier. The next pressure wave comes and I am back on my knees leaning over the pool hanging on to C's hands. No more hypnobabies (sorry Noelia, but I did try!) I remember crying and cussing. The pressure waves sucked. Then C. asked Jen (our other midwife) a question. I don't know what he said, but I remember her saying that I would feel burning. Next pressure wave in and I feel the burning. Pressure wave after pressure wave and I feel more burning and more pressure. It was time to push. Jen tells me that I can take control. It felt so good to hear that. My entire pregnancy had been out of my control, and I just got permission to take the reins and do what I wanted/needed. 18 minutes of pushing and at 5:01 am our baby was born right into her daddy's arms and passed to me. C. says "it’s a boy,” and for the next 15 minutes we think we have a sweet little boy. It is time to cut the cord and I move our little boy… SURPRISE! It's a girl! C. cuts her cord and then I snuggle back up to her.

At this point I still have not birthed the placenta and I am getting quite frustrated and annoyed. I would like to focus on my beautiful daughter, but I couldn't because of my placenta. So C. takes our daughter tight in his arms. I remember feeling horrible that I couldn't spend these precious moments with my daughter, but I also knew she was safe in her daddy's arms. I'm not sure how much time passes but finally, with a little help, I am able to birth the placenta. My daughter is back in my arms. I was in a state of shock. It was hard to believe HG was over, and that here in my arms was our beautiful daughter.

Postpartum

The one thing that I held on to throughout my pregnancy was this idea that once the baby is here it is all over. This idea that I'll finally get to bond and connect with my baby. That I will finally get to love on her and enjoy what I have been trying to for the past 10 months. I never prepared myself for the reality of what it is like after a baby. I had no idea just how painful and miserable breastfeeding could be. For 10 months I had been telling myself when she's here I finally get to love her and enjoy her. Yet I found that at least every two hours my baby was still causing me pain. During these moments that I wanted to be bonding with my daughter, all I could think about is how much I wanted her off me. I hated it. Then all those HG feelings just rushed back to the surface and I was drowning in them. I would see my husband all cuddled up to his daughter telling her how much he loves her and I would just ball. I wanted to do that, but my breasts were so sore I couldn't hold her close. I wanted to tell her I love her, but I couldn't. It took me a week to say "I love you" to her. Of course it is not because I don't love my daughter. I do. More than anything. It is just really hard for me to put all my emotions aside. I'm scarred pretty deep. My wounds are still fresh and trying to heal, and they are easily torn open.

Lots of moms keep telling me you will soon forgot all the troubles you went through. That everything will be worth it. I'll agree with that second part. A. has been worth it all, but I won't forget. Perhaps the details of my pregnancy and postpartum issues will get murky, but I sure won't forget. I guess only time will tell. Until then, I'm going to take it day by day.

Meanderings (21w1d)

2011-09-28T22:18:00.000-07:00

Just a few notes to check in!

***

First of all, I am absolutely thrilled to be able to congratulate HG-mama Molly at Knocked Up, Knocked Over on her the birth of her daughter yesterday! CONGRATULATIONS, MOLLY!! And not only did she birth a baby, but she birthed a very, very, very BIG baby! I can't wait to hear her birth story and see pictures of the babe for whom she has worked so very, very hard.

***

Secondly, I am also thrilled to announce that.... (drum roll, please!)..... we have at long last chosen a homeschool curriculum!! Hurray!

Not that we'll stick with it, despite the fact that we have put ourselves in the poorhouse purchasing it. From what I've heard of it, almost everyone changes curricula after beginning and learning what works for each family. But we had to start somewhere, and so here is what we are going to begin with. Until we change it. Probably next week.

Literature/History/Etc. - We will be using Sonlight's Core A. This is a real books curriculum that uses all real books (no textbooks) to teach literature, history, culture, etc. This is where the bulk of our $$$ went. So it had better be good.

Reading/Phonics - Going to use a book called something like "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons." It's got a good reputation and is extremely structured and well-laid out. Right now I'm wading through the introduction and directions, and we'll probably start next week.

Handwriting - There's some basic writing included in the above reading program, but otherwise, we are nixing handwriting for this year. This is common among homeschoolers. When we do start it, we will probably use Handwriting Without Tears.

Math - Taking an unschooling approach to that this year. That is, if he asks, I'll go into it. And I'll provide lots of real-life learning examples (cooking, etc.). But nothing formal. Next year we will choose a math curriculum, probably Math-U-See.

Science - Also taking an interest-led, unschooling approach. It would be an understatement to say that a science curriculum is completely unneeded for this child, and in fact would be rather absurd. He has a natural and intense interest in science, and when he expresses an interest I simply order every book that I can from the library on that subject, and we read them obsessively. He now knows more about the solar system than I ever have! That and volcanoes (and snakes) are consuming his interest right now. I intend to follow his interests and use that approach until it either doesn't work or until he reaches an age when more structured work is necessary.

And there you have it!

***

Thirdly, and not so thrilling, I am getting sick. I thought I'd escaped it, but I am apparently slated to be victim #3 of the first cold of the year - just in time to make us miss our vacation, which was planned for this weekend. Bummer!

I should have known it would happen, though. We almost always get sick in time to wreak havoc with any important planned date. Special parties, trips, holidays, choir concerts, you name it - if it's important and it's on our calendar, we'll get sick for it. Sickening, really!

So now we're trying to scramble to reschedule our vacation before the holidays hit, and trying to rework our schedule for the next month.

***

Medical note: Have reduced Diclectin by another dose (as of 3 days ago), so am now down to 16 mg Zofran and 3 Diclectin per day. Next week will try to knock off another Zofran. I don't know if I'll make my goal of being med-free by 25 weeks (seems unlikely), but I'm pegging away at it.

Lots of stuff going on around here! MOMS Club, AWANA, church, housework, kids - the usual insanity! Plus starting to work myself incrementally through the beginning of a house turn-out - trying to spend 15 minutes per day in cleaning out/organizing/decluttering. It's amazing how quickly a house is buried under dust and clutter!

But it is so, so, SO nice to be feeling better and up to more than survival! Life outside of HG is just wonderful (or, in the case of this pregnancy, life outside of yucky NVP).

Love to all! Have a great week!

Zofran Link

2011-09-26T07:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my friend Kathy, who shared this link with me regarding Zofran. Sorry it's taken me so long to share!

Just an FYI, I am not at all trying to discourage Zofran use - I'm on the stuff myself at the moment. But I post anything and everything HG-related to this blog, so that readers will have as much information as they possibly can regarding HG and its treatments.

Have a great day, all!

Time to Play HG Detective: Unraveling the Mystery of Weeks 4-6

2011-09-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

Okay ladies, here goes!

First of all, you HG mamas out there will understand that writing about this is a distinctly unpleasant (i.e. panic-inducing) activity. So I am going to get through it as quickly as possible! (Though it will be long anyway, and I will be writing in parts.)

Secondly, I am hoping that ALL of my readers, HG-mamas and others, will chime in with their opinions. Though I don't think it's possible to truly solve this mystery, I'd love to see everyone chip in her two cents.

So here goes.

One technical note. I have not been doing official NFP (Natural Family Planning), that is, charting basal body temperature, cervical fluid, and cervical position, since the conception of our second child. Thus, while our dates with our second child (occasionally mentioned) are accurate to the second, our dates with this pregnancy aren't quite as exact. However, as using NFP does give one a good feel for one's cycle, I am fairly positive that my dates are accurate to within 24-48 hours.

And now on to "The Mysterious Affair of What on EARTH Happened During This Pregnancy???".....

Saturday, 3w4d

This week, DH and I were heavily involved in helping with a friend's wedding - I was doing the music, he was doing the MC work for the reception, and a good friend of ours was doing the coordinating. So we were doing round-the-clock wedding prep. I was not paying too much attention to my cycle. However, I knew from my mental charting that if my cycle was going to start, it should start sometime between this day (Saturday) and Monday at the latest. My friend tells me later that she knew I was pregnant that Friday (3w3d). What can I say? She's amazing. :)

Monday, 3w6d

By this time, the wedding is over and I am seriously contemplating the fact that I might be pregnant. However, I'm not too nervous because I'm feeling okay. Last time the nausea started at 3w5d, so this is good news.

HOWEVER. That night, I go into our son's room to read him a book. When I sit down to read, I am feeling fine. When I get up, I am not. At some point in between, I felt the first definite onset of nausea. I am beyond freaked out. The nausea does not leave. When I go to bed, I am praying that I will wake up puking in the wee hours - i.e. that it is JUST food poisoning. No such luck. I wake up in the morning still nauseated.

Tuesday, 4w0d

By mid-day, I break down and take a Unisom. By early evening, I need to take a Zofran. "Freaking out" is a mild description - I am being pulled into the nightmare, faster than I ever have been before. All you HG mamas out there know what I'm talking about. This is sliding into the pit faster than I ever have been before. I am panicking.

That evening, we go out and buy a pregnancy test. Positive. However, it's a weak positive. Not as weak as our blighted ovum pregnancy, which was of the "is it really positive?" ilk, but definitely much weaker than our other two, which were of the "HERE I AM!" type of positives.

We immediately go out and spend the rest of our evening at Sprouts and Whole Foods picking up supplements. B-complex, zinc, magnesium, ginger, you name it.

By bedtime, I am panicking. I am feeling awful, and it's only getting worse. And I've already started taking meds at 4w0d.

I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that (1) I am really in trouble, and (2) if this continues, I am going to be in the hospital by the end of the week. No question about it.

Two hours after I go to sleep, I wake up at midnight and have to run to the bathroom, dry heaving. No actual vomiting, but this is scary enough.

I think that that moment was one of the most frightening times of my life. #1 - I am only at 4w0d. #2 - I'm already taking the strongest meds in the world, and I'm STILL throwing up? #3 - Even when I had true HG, I was usually able to sleep through the night. Though I know it's common for most of you, I had never woken up out of a dead sleep to have to run for the bathroom.

At that point, I come out here and write an extremely panicky blog post announcing the pregnancy and asking for prayer. After wandering about a bit, I am finally able to fall asleep again.

4w1d

The nausea starts again as soon as I get up. I start up on the meds again, and make a shaky call to my OB to get an appointment for a Zofran prescription for that afternoon. I also place a call to MotheRisk, who returns my call an hour later. They review the Unisom protocol with me, and also tell me to make sure I'm eating protein. I let the kids sleep in as long as I can, as I don't know what I'll do with them when they get up.

I begin to set a timer for 20 minutes. When it goes off, I eat something. When it goes off again, I drink something. Repeat. Determined to get on top of this. However, and many HG mamas know this feeling, I am quickly losing the ability to get food down. Chewing and swallowing are going out the window. It was frightening. I have never, never, NEVER gotten so sick so quickly.

However, late that morning - sometime just before lunch time - I notice that I am feeling ever-so-slightly better. Just a wee bit. Very encouraging. The trend continues. I am able to get both kids over to my OB appointment and back without too much grief, and in the evening I continue to feel ever so slightly better. Very puzzling.

4w2d

On Thursday, I still feel yucky but am ever-so-slowly feeling better, inch by inch. I don't know what on earth is going on, but I'm very thankful for it. I do contemplate the possibility of impending miscarriage, due to feeling better and the light pregnancy test. (By the by, I had asked my OB about the light test, and she told my that while many such pregnancies are headed for miscarriage, she's also seen healthy full-term babes result from such pregnancies. Only time would tell.)

Thursday evening, I go to use the bathroom and see - pink-tinged cervical fluid. I am spotting. This can be okay, but it's often another sign of an impending miscarriage. Within ten minutes of that, I feel the onset of menstrual-type cramps. At that point, I realize that a miscarriage is on its way. I have been down this road before, so I know what to expect.

Except that nothing more happens. No more spotting, though the cramps do continue at a low level. I continue to feel better and better.

4w3d

I continue to feel better and better. By this day or the next, I begin to discontinue all meds. By the weekend, I'm back to normal activity levels.

Menstrual cramps continue. At least 3-4 times they escalate to a level of intensity which makes me sure that a miscarriage is beginning, but that never happens.

Life continues on. I am not completely nausea-free; I have occasional twinges, especially at night. I also have a lot of night-time fear to deal with - getting up in the middle of the night and wandering about the house while dealing with overwhelming waves of HG-fear. I think you all know what I'm talking about!

During this time, I am pretty much a stress-case. And that's an understatement. I am walking around waiting either for a miscarriage or the return of HG. I am a mess. At some point, DH says "Why are you so stressed out?" He, being the happy-go-lucky type, has just concluded that I'm going to have an easier pregnancy and that everything is just great - he doesn't think another thing about it. I immediately give him a half-hour lecture on the subject.

5w2d

Up till now, I have been conscientiously doing the very-low-carb/high-protein diet as an HG-avoidance strategy. At this point, I start cheating. A lot. I figure that it didn't help anyhow, and since I'm just waiting for a miscarriage, there's no point in continuing to observe it.

5w5d

In the late afternoon, I begin - quite suddenly - to feel simply awful. After a gap of about 10 days, the NVP is back.

I immediately go back on the diet, and things improve a lot by the end of the week. Also right back on the meds.

HG never develops, nor does the nausea go as deep and as fast as it did at that initial point. I deal with some really yucky pregnancy nausea, but it stays away from true HG - due to the diet, the meds, or divine mercy - or some combination of the three.

And now the question:

What on EARTH happened back there? What was that all about? Here are a few theories that we have worked up:

(1) DH's favorite theory - the Initial Reaction Theory - that the diet (to prevent HG) really was working, and those couple of scary days were just my body's initial reaction to the initial surge of pregnancy hormones, after which it adjusted and went on just fine till I started cheating.

(2) My favorite theory - the Disappearing Twin Theory - Does everyone know what disappearing twins are? It is a phenomenon in which a pregnancy begins as a twin pregnancy, but one twin dies early in the pregnancy and is reabsorbed, so that the pregnancy ends naturally as a singleton birth. It's much more common than was previously realized - we are now seeing this more often due to the use of early ultrasound. This would account for the fact that I had miscarriage symptoms but no actual miscarriage. Theoretically, the lessening of the hormones with the passing of one babe would have lowered my nausea levels.

(3) One I think is dead wrong - the Stomach Flu/Food Poisoning Theory - That those two awful days were not NVP, but food poisoning or stomach flu. Lots of reasons why this is NOT a good theory: (1) It felt like NVP, not stomach flu. (2) It appeared at precisely the right time for NVP. (3) The nausea developed for something like 28 hours before I started dry heaving - gastroenteritis usually leads to vomiting much faster than that. (4) There were no lower-intestinal symptoms, as there inevitably are with gastroenteritis. (5) The nausea went away in the early hours of the morning and returned upon rising, which is classic NVP and not at all symptomatic of gastroenteritis.

(4) A possibility - the My Body Is Weird Theory - During my last pregnancy, I experienced a brief drop in pregnancy symptoms. I looked it up, and the dates were as follows: NVP commenced at 3w5d; at approximately 5 1/2 weeks I experienced a deep decrease in symptoms that lasted for about 2 1/2 days, during which time I was able to stop taking meds. Apparently this happens to more than just me, as "Knocked Up Knocked Over" experienced the same thing with her pregnancy (anyone else?). However, this was at a different time in the pregnancy, and for a considerably different length of time (2 days as opposed to 10).

(5) The most likely - the It's Forever a Mystery Theory - That we'll never know, and it's going to remain a frustrating mystery.

And now, dear readers - I'd love you to chime in. Do you favor any of these theories? Do you have any of your own? Please write in and let me know what you think.

Thanks for your patience!

Quick Check-in (20w0d)

2011-09-20T12:49:00.000-07:00

Here we are, at the halfway point!! We'll be there in no time!

Life is busy, nothing much extraordinary going on. Muddling through the opening days of our homeschool year (using homemade curriculum while I read madly on curriculum choices), doing AWANA and church and lots of reading, feeling great on the whole and recovering more and more of pre-NVP life. It always takes a while! The house is still trashed, but unfortunately the time to deal with that decreases drastically with each child. Hopefully I'll have time for a step-by-step turnout before baby arrives!

Now that we're 20 weeks, I need to start dealing with the fact that - gulp! - I need to start preparing for a birth! Exercising, birth exercises, reading, listening to tapes if I go that route, etc. The clock is ticking!

A long time ago, I made a commitment that at 20 weeks I would take the plunge and write out the story of what actually happened during weeks 4-6 of this pregnancy. But now that 20 weeks is here, I find myself still.... utterly terrified at the thought of reliving that. I think I'd rather wait a while. Like till menopause. Or ten years after menopause. Heck, make it my deathbed. That's the only time I'll be truly safe from repeat HG, in all truth! (Talking about HG is always so frightening because of the thought of what could happen in the future.)

But anyhow, I really do need to write out that story while it is still somewhat fresh in my mind - before we get into end-of-pregnancy craziness and then have a new baby to deal with. So... I guess I'll try to get on that in the next few days.

We also had our second midwife visit - several weeks ago, actually - and it was a lot of fun! I ended up making her talk midwifery politics for a solid hour, and it was sheer heaven. You can read her blog here if you want to get to know her; she is an awesome blogger and always has great things to say. She's also a very skilled debater!

Well, back to dishes! Oh, and speaking of dishes, we're on day 4 of going gluten-free, and it's going well! It's not that hard, really, considering that I had to give up so much more than gluten on the VLC diet (gluten, all grains, fruit, beans, starchy vegetables, sugar, etc.). So this is actually much easier - though we do really plow through the produce when we're not eating wheat! So back to Sprouts we go tonight.

Have a great week, all!

Tidbits from Life (19w3d)

2011-09-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been such a bad, bad blogger recently! Time is flying! It always does when I start to feel better!

First, the medical details:

I am feeling really good. Ridiculously good. That is, tired, off and on nauseated, but only enough to interfere with life a couple of times a day. Our life is almost-kinda-sorta back to normal, at a slower pace. I have never, never, NEVER been through a pregnancy this easily. It is beyond crazy. Either it's a girl, or it's an incredible natural variation in pregnancies, or something is wrong, or that diet really worked. Or some synergistic combo of the above.

Meds:

Last Tuesday (18w0d) I cut out one Diclectin, down to 4 Diclectin and 20 mg Zofran per day.

This past Tuesday (19w0d) I cut out one dosage Zofran, down to 4 Diclectin and 16 mg Zofran per day.

The eventual goal is to be off meds by 25 weeks or so, earlier if I can swing it. Each time I cut a dose, I feel good and shaky for a few days, then stabilize. Trying to cut something every 5-7 days.

Current weight gain is [*censored*] pounds. Is that ridiculous, or what? Unfortunately, I do seem to gain quite a bit of weight during pregnancies when I'm not in HG. For one thing, I'm eating constantly to ward off the nausea, and when I'm not in HG, I'm not throwing it all back up (not that I'm complaining!). Secondly, when I come out of NVP, I find myself with an utterly ravenous appetite. I guess I should have known that by the fact that I still managed to gain 25 net pounds even during my HG pregnancy! So here we go again. But again, anything is preferable to HG. Weight gain, floods, tornadoes, whatever.

Some brief snapshots of what's going on around here:

- God's timing for this pregnancy has really been perfect. As a matter of fact, His timing is always perfect, but sometimes it's just more obvious than others - this is one of them! I am feeling better just in time for fall activities, and they have started just as I am ready to pick up the activity level.

- AWANA started last week, and our eldest is having a blast. AWANA is a church kids' club, where they play games, learn Bible stories and verses, and have an amazing time. It has been a tremendous blessing to our family. I highly recommend it!

- My women's Bible study also started, last night. The teacher, a friend of mine, is teaching for the first time - but goodness, it looked like she was a seasoned veteran! She took to it like a duck to water. I'm enjoying being present - I haven't done women's ministry activities in several years now.

- We finally finished watching Prince William & Kate's wedding - or at least our recording of it, which unfortunately cut off before the end. It was just lovely! With such achingly beautiful music - just lovely. To celebrate, I went out and got a copy of a biography of Princess Di from the library to read. I love biographies!!

- I am also reading a just-released book called Wheat Belly, examining the health problems associated with modern wheat strains. Great book! DH has been wanting to try a gluten-free diet for some time now, so we're going to give it a go starting tomorrow. We'll see if it's a success or not! I do have some experience with that now, having done both the very-low-carb diet and the Paleo Diet (which is grain-free). We're going to try to cut all wheat, most grains, and white sugar. If we last more than 24 hours, I'll let you know. :)

- Other books I'm reading: More Than a Carpenter, The Essential 55, The Three R's at Home, and Top 100 Picks for Homeschool Curriculum, Raising Godly Tomatoes. Also just finished High Society: The Life of Grace Kelly.

- Something I'm very, very behind on - answering emails and blog post replies. If you're waiting for me, I am so very sorry! I have been so bad.

- Last week's neurology appointment for our little dude - We saw an amazing neurologist over in Phoenix. He went over last year's brain MRI with us. Or rather, he pointed at the screen and poured forth an amazing stream of techno-babble, while we did our desperate best to nod with some semblance of intelligent understanding. The basic conclusion seems to be that while normal on the whole, our little dude's brain has some spaces where there should be tissue - lower brain volume than expected. He's going to confer with the radiologist to see if they can come up with any genetic diagnoses based on the MRI.

- This week's cardiology appointment for the little guy - Awesome! They repeated the EKG and heart echo, and then the doctor came in cheerfully and said that in his opinion, heart surgery was unnecessary. His first heart defect (PFO) is so common (in a quarter of the population) that it's not even worth calling it a defect, and his second (a PDA) is so small in extent that it's not worth repairing. And what's even better, we don't need to go back at all! So farewell to cardiology! At this point, we have shed enough specialists that we are down to pediatrics, neurology, and genetics - which is much more manageable than our original load (which included cardiology, developmental peds, GI, and some others). Hurray! Thanking God that we are not now planning heart surgery!

- Homeschooling.... I am starting to see that getting started is going to be a whole lot more complicated than I anticipated! Primarily because our little guy is so anti-academic. He's just not one of those little kids (of whom I know a lot) who just love workbooks and coloring sheets and flash cards. He is naturally allergic to all of them! I talked to another AHF (Amazing Homeschooling Friend) of mine this week, and she says that for Kindergarten she kept things mainly informal - teaching by games, by cooking, etc. - I aim to emulate her, especially considering where her kids have ended up now! (Let's see.... One is an academic genius, one is singing in Broadway musicals, one just put a rocket into near space, all are passionate about their faith, and all have the most amazing relationships with each other and with their parents. I think - YES! I'll take that! LOL!)

But it's going to take longer than I thought to get started.

Something we did last week which surprised even me - we decided against preschool for our eldest. I had already signed him up and was getting ready for school to start, but I just had a nagging feeling that it was not the right decision for this year (much as it had been the right decision for last year). Don't you have those spiritual promptings that push you in a direction you don't want to go? Dang it, I was looking forward to the free time!!! But I couldn't shake the feeling, so I talked to DH and we eventually decided to pull his registration. So we are now full-time homeschoolers, for better or worse.

There's more to write, but I am out of time! Actually, I was out of time before I started, as I slept in horribly. I guess I was just exhausted!

Oh, one final note - my appreciation truly goes out to any woman who makes it through an entire pregnancy nursing! This is NOT easy! Youch!!! :) But we forge ahead.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Educational Angst

2011-09-08T21:14:00.000-07:00

You know, the anxiety never stops when it comes to parenting! Really, it doesn't. It just changes form. I may not be dealing with feeding schedules and potty training (at the moment), but those issues disappear simply to be replaced by new ones. This time it's education!

Yesterday we reached - in our long, long history of homeschooling, that is, the past two weeks - the first point when I got a "But Mommmmm, I don't wanna!" when going through a phonics craft.

Great! Already??

I find myself grinding my teeth (i.e. worrying) over multiple issues with our fledgling homeschool, dragging feet being just one of many. Here are just a few:

(1) There are just so, SO many awesome choices when it comes to curricula! I'm not talking just a few - there are thousands of products out there, of all different styles, speeds and types. It is absolutely mind-boggling. And no one homeschooling family uses the same combination of curricula! (Which is awesome, by the way, though confusing for the novice.) I am having a very hard time choosing.

(2) An even bigger issue is the fact that I really didn't want to start school yet with our 5yo. I wanted to delay school until he was six, for several reasons - both that, statistically, kids often do better with a later start (especially boys), and also that our 5yo has shown less than no interest in academics (more like an active antipathy). The only reason that I am starting now is that he has to be "in kindergarten" to move up with his AWANA class. Otherwise, he'd be left behind with the 3yo class while all of his friends moved up. So we have to do kindergarten, but do we do kindergarten or "kindergarten"?? I do not want either to (1) ruin the joy of learning by introducing hard-core academics too early, or (2) end up with an undisciplined learner by delaying them too late.

Where on earth is the balance?

Our son is 100% opposite of myself, which makes me feel even more at sea. I was the naturally-studious type who taught myself to read at four, who took naturally to school work, worksheets, etc., was self-motivated, naturally organized, never needed reminders, etc. Basically, a teacher's pet. He, on the other hand, while being quite curious and incredibly intelligent - especially in practical and mechanical matters - has never, ever, ever been interested in anything remotely academic. Most kids enjoy coloring books - he has almost never touched one voluntarily. Most kids like crafts - he avoids them like the plague. And any time that I've tried to get him to do things like coloring or crafts, it has turned into a discipline battle - "Sit down and color this picture or you're going to be in BIG TROUBLE!" Great, huh?

So right now, with our homeschool, I'm doing tiny phonics lessons (one letter a week) and other than that, just following an interest-led path with tons and tons of library books - both non-fiction, according to interest, and good quality fiction according to age. Right now he is passionately interested in the solar system and space travel, so I have checked out our library's entire (almost) selection on planets/shuttles/etc. and we are reading masses of books about that, as well as watching Youtube videos, and tomorrow night we're going to go visit a local observatory.

In my heart of hearts, I believe that the above type of education is the best (that is, masses of reading of real books plus real life experiences).... but I don't have the confidence in myself to branch out completely in that sense. I would like the security of following some sort of curricula, at least in math. The question is - do I need to start that right now? Or is waiting okay? I know that homeschooling parents often take a "better late than early" approach with their children, which is just awesome, but again..... I lack the confidence to break away from the crowd. Odd, considering all of my counterculture choices in life (like homebirth, etc.) - but I find my confidence really shaky when it comes to home education.

However, as I said, I'm going to be meeting with my AHF (Amazing Homeschooling Friend) soon to get her perspective, and I daresay that I will have a better direction after that.

Thanks for listening to my wanderings!

What a Weekend! (18w0d)

2011-09-06T22:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right! EIGHTEEN WEEKS! Hurray!!!

This weekend was crazy-busy, and thankfully it was probably one of the first weekends that I could handle that level of activity!

Friday through Saturday we hosted family for our little dude's second birthday. That's right, he is now TWO years old! Pictures later, assuming I remember. And assuming that I took any, which I didn't. I'll have to see if someone else did, and I'll probably forget to post anyhow.

Despite the fact that the weekend was a never-ending series of minor disasters, it came off quite well. Exhausting, but fun! Our little guy received a Childrite Seat (the special needs larger version of the Bumbo), which despite its price was a smashing success (combined b-day and Christmas gift from DH's parents), some sensory balls and a "Band in a Box" - all big hits.

Sunday was church, shopping, church potluck, and the library. Wow. I was so tired after that - but it is so lovely to be back in church!! Just wonderful.

On Monday, we had the experience of a lifetime.... We found a cat which disappeared from our house - two and a half years ago. Yes, seriously. Not kidding.

Said cat was a stray that we were feeding (along with her kitten) at our apartment complex. When we bought our house, we brought them along. The introduction of the two cats into our household was not a huge success, due to the fact that our already-reigning cat is an unmitigated bully (and that is the reason we have her in the first place - she was beating up my mom's cats). Shortly after we got into the house, the mama cat disappeared out of an open window, and after that we successfully got the kitten into Petco's adoption program, and so that was the end.

We thought we caught a few glimpses, last summer, of a cat that looked awfully like the mama cat - but we couldn't get close to her. Then she disappeared for another year. But on Monday, when we went walking to deliver some papers to the neighbors, we saw her again - and this time, she came when we called! It took about 25 minutes to reestablish friendly relations, but after that she followed us home and had dinner. She was in pretty awful shape, so it was clear that we were not stealing someone's adopted pet.

After that, she disappeared again, so we went to the same place tonight and brought her back again, and this time DH got her and put her in a back bedroom, with the intent of eventually introducing her into the house.

I wasn't too sure about the whole thing, so thankfully DH is wildly enthusiastic and is spearheading the project. Nice not to have to think "should we, shouldn't we?" - he is taking care of it!

How many cats do you know of that show up after being missing for two and a half years???

In other news:

We are now in our second week of homeschooling! Finally! Hurray!

And what curriculum are we using? Good question! Beats me!

Being stuck in a quagmire of indecision (there are just way too many good products out there.... thousands upon thousands!!), I have decided to keep looking at curriculum while we get started anyhow. I'm not doing much of anything, just some basic phonics - a letter a week, and doing activities with it.

I hope to add in a math curriculum soon. Also, I am going to talk to my absurdly-successful homeschooling mom friend (the one who graduated two ridiculously intelligent and/or educated young men who are now out changing the world!) to get her advice on the whole thing.

I am also back to checking out masses of library books, both fiction and non, and supplementing with computer print-outs just following his interests. Right now he is passionately investigating space shuttles and the solar system! Good stuff.

Right now we're spending max 30-60 minutes a day on official "school" stuff - that will probably increase, but we're starting gradually.

I find it just fascinating how much one learns simply by reading. Just from this week's books that we checked out, he is learning about boat motors, clam digging, the solar system, tornadoes, and a bunch of other things. And so much more interesting than reading about them in textbooks!

My guess is that this year will be a year of gradually feeling things out - of discovery and endless trial-and-error. It is definitely going to be interesting. I think I shall get as much of an education as he shall!

Today was our second midwife's appointment - fun! I'm afraid I totally lost my head and got my poor midwife embroiled in a rather complicated discussion on midwifery politics (long story), but it was utterly fascinating and I enjoyed it thoroughly, though I am afraid DH was rather left out of it. My midwife is probably one of the most intelligent women I know, and I admire her learning and mental acuity very much. She also runs a wildly successful midwifery blog, which I have had the pleasure of reading for a year or so.

Have kicked one dose of Zofran - my middle-of-the-night dose. Down to 5 Diclectin and 20 mg of Zofran per day. I'm waiting about 6 days in between dosage adjustments, the goal being to get off the stuff as quickly as possible.

I am feeling ridiculously well. I should qualify that, perhaps - that is, I am feeling tired and nauseated around the clock. By the world's standards, a crummy pregnancy. But by HG standards - LET'S PARTY!!! This qualifies more for "children running through a field of blowing buttercups" type of pregnancy than for anything in the complaints department. Sure, I'm tired and nauseated - but I'm not throwing up! I'm mostly functional! I feel fine for part of the day! Life is great!! I even cooked dinner tonight!!!

Not to mention - baby kicks! Lots of them! Lots of little kicks, and yesterday I felt a few that I could feel with my hand - incidentally, this was exactly the same point when I had that milestone last time (17w6d). Wow!

I have absolutely nothing to complain about, HG-wise. I don't know what this pregnancy would have been like without Diclectin and Zofran, but with them, I am doing well. If this is what a girl pregnancy is like, then bring on the girls!

Okay, back to real life! Hope you all are well! I am VERY behind in responding to comments, but I will do my best to catch up!

Introducing a New HG Blog!

2011-09-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

Last week I heard from a one-time HG mama who is considering trying for another babe, and I am thrilled to introduce her blog to you:

Memoirs and Musings

I spent some time last night reading through her entries - great stuff. If you go back a few pages, you can read some entries written during her first pregnancy as she deals with HG, and more recent entries deal with her spiritual struggles following HG and her thoughts for planning an upcoming pregnancy.

Have you ever happened upon blog entries that you feel you could have written yourself? I do so occasionally, and this was one of those times - especially on entries like this one that deal with post-HG spiritual fallout (from a Christian perspective). My experience has been almost identical, and to be perfectly honest, I am still dealing with it. That sounds ridiculous, considering that my HG baby is now more than five years old - how long do I need to get over this, anyway? - but the spiritual struggles following HG have, for me, been extremely intense. I still have struggles with trusting God. I still deal with anger. And fear. And more fear. And I didn't even have severe HG, like most of you mamas out there have, so I don't even know where I'd be if I was in those shoes!

For me, HG has been the single most intense experience of my life. It has produced the most spiritual growth in my life - big, big, BIG time - I should write about that sometime, if I haven't already - and it has also produced the greatest crisis of faith. Quite definitely a "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" type of faith crisis. I haven't written a lot about faith and HG lately - maybe I'll get into it more. But it is really nice to have other mamas out there with whom I can share the experience of having one's faith shaken to the core by HG.

And, oddly enough, I have met Christian HG mamas whose faith was not the least bit affected by HG. Even women whose HG was of a near-death type. They simply relied on God and moved on. What faith! I wish I had that unquestioning faith, but it is quite clear that I don't. (My husband does, but not me!) Very interesting to see the different ways in which HG hits different women.

Anyhow! Geneva, welcome to the HG blogosphere; we would be thrilled to cheer you through your next pregnancy!

Thursday (17w2d)

2011-09-01T21:22:00.000-07:00

*Foodment*

Big firsts!! Yesterday I made my first post-BFP dessert (chocolate blanc mange), and today I cooked dinner for the first time post-BFP (spaghetti with jarred sauce). Can I say that I'm both very excited and extremely pleased with myself????

*End foodment*

So, today was our first appointment with our late pediatrician's replacement!

Was the utter awesomeness there?

Not sure! But we're going to stay until further notice. It went really well.

We actually saw the Nurse Practitioner, not the pediatrician (didn't know about that in advance). She was very experienced, with a background in pediatric GI, and seemed pretty neat. She spent about an hour with us doing the two physicals.

Some good points: Absolutely no fuss was made about vaccines - she just confirmed that we were non-vax and then moved on. Awesome! Also, there were no lectures or rolled eyes when I said that our bub is still breastfeeding. Another good point! I didn't manage to sneak homebirth into the conversation, but two out of three is really not bad.

Additionally, at the end, she just said "See you in a year!" No trying to drag us in for more (unnecessary) visits - she just said that she was glad that our bub was under the care of such good specialists, and that she'd see us next year.

Good stuff.

In fact, the only catch to the morning was a certain five-year-old who chose to be a goofball for the last bit of the appointment. We had some serious conversations when we got home.

I have noticed that parenting tends to run in alternating modes. Mode #1: "I am really on top of this, I've finally caught on, I love being a mom, my kids are going to be okay, life is good." Mode #2: "I have totally mistaken my calling, I am an utter failure as amother, my kids are headed for prison, and furthermore, I'm going to wring that kid's neck."

This week has definitely been more in line with Mode #2!

But I have also learned that parenting is an ever-changing adventure, and even though it has not in any way come naturally to me (nor did I get an easy child for my first!), at least I am learning. Right now I am working on closer tomato staking with our eldest, and on keeping a closer eye on the little things that add up into the big things. I think we're making progress, though it's always a journey.

One part of the journey this week has been our decision this afternoon to confiscate all Calvin & Hobbes comic books tonight after our son is in bed (coming in about ten minutes). He started reading them (looking at the pictures) a few weeks ago, and we thought it was really cute. Until it became clear that he was looking at Calvin not as a source of harmless amusement, but as a role model. Have you read those books? Ack!!! I didn't think about it, because I read them for my entire childhood with no harm. But they have been incredibly harmful to our little guy, simply because he takes the things he sees and acts them out. Bad, bad, bad! So farewell to Calvin & Hobbes, at least until our dude gains some serious maturity. Expecting some serious sulking tomorrow.

Our son has a finely-tuned radar that locates and seeks out bad examples - and follows them. It's uncanny. I think it's a good thing that we're homeschooling! He needs to have some character and some independence trained into him before he is set loose on the world.

But enough moaning, I need to get back to the dishes. *Sigh*. One of the bad points about starting to cook again - it's not just take-out trash to throw out!

A better update later!

Wednesday (17w1d)

2011-08-31T08:21:00.000-07:00

Hi, everyone!

You will have noticed that I am no longer blogging every day - since I am (I hope!) past the critical phase, I didn't think it was quite as necessary to maintain a daily record. But I do want to check in as often as I can.

Continuing to do better by baby steps every day!

Have dropped another Diclectin, so I'm down to 24 mg Zofran and 5 Diclectin.

Yesterday we went to the first MOMS Club event since I started feeling yucky! Our eldest was beyond excited. Poor guy, this summer has been so dull for him. He was as excited as a puppy. And the playdate we attended was at a house that has all boys, so it was full of all the things he loves most - tools, toy guns, super-hero paraphernalia (I don't know how he got into super-heroes, but it happened!), etc. He had a wonderful time. I did too! It was so nice to see other moms and get out for a while.

Of course, the two hours of just sitting and talking was enough to put me under the table for the rest of the day, but that's okay! And I missed our midwife's pregnant-mommy meeting again, but I'll try again in two weeks.

Tomorrow will be a rather nerve-wracking experience - we will be meeting our late pediatrician's replacement doctor. There has been a series of substitutes in the office until now, but the practice has finally sold to a new permanent owner. I'm taking both kids in for their check-ups, and it will be the first time we've been in the office since our pediatrician's funeral last February.

Thus, tomorrow the decision will have to be made - do we stick with this new chap, or move on? I want and need a pediatrician to (1) practice non-interventive medicine, and (2) be okay with all of our counter-culture craziness - midwife-assisted homebirth, longterm breastfeeding, non-vaccination, etc. I don't want a pediatrician who will be constantly disapproving of my decisions or trying to convince me into things that I'm not comfortable with. However, most pediatricians just don't possess that level of utter awesomeness. Too bad!

And by that statement, I don't mean that a pediatrician has to be a homebirther or a non-vaccinator himself - just that he enthusiastically supports the rights of parents to practice informed consent and non-consent. Unfortunately, many (most) pediatricians follow the doctrine of "do what I tell you or else get out."

And, if you think about it, that is very odd! The definition of a good parent is one who does his own research, thinks thoughtfully through issues, and carefully makes a decision based on that information for the good of his child - regardless of whether or not that decision agrees with current advice, trends, or fashions. But much of the time, our culture and our medical system define "good parenting" as "doing what we tell you without asking questions." Seriously???

So, tomorrow will tell! Thankfully I already know which ped we will immediately transfer to if this chap doesn't work out, so it won't be tragic if he's not a winner - if that utter awesomeness has eluded his grasp. :)

With two kids to watch and two check-ups to do, I don't think I'll have the time to fire off interview-type questions, but we should be able to see his reaction to our non-vax decision, and I may try to add homebirth to the general conversation to see his reaction. Hopefully that will do well enough to sound him out! I don't want to waste time in ambiguity while waiting for him to show his true colors.

Well, I have more to write, but I need to get down to the business of starting this day. I will try to check in soon! Love to all!

Curriculum Woes

2011-08-27T10:01:00.000-07:00

Now that I have my brain (mostly) back, my mind has, over the past week or two, turned to the issue of homeschool curriculum choices. And to my dismay, I find that I am now having doubts about the selection that I have happily had in mind for the past year or more.

Great timing, considering that I should already have ordered and should be starting in the next week or so!!

My original selection is an award-winning package curriculum that is a "real books" curriculum - for literature, language arts and history, it relies almost exclusively upon real books - that is, books from or based on the time being studied - rather than textbooks.

I find this approach immensely sensible. When I look back over my academic career, I remember almost nothing of the history that I learned from textbooks. Zilch, zero, nada. But I can still remember vivid details of history that I learned from, say, Laura Ingals Wilder books, or Jane Austen, or other period literature. That sort of thing sticks. Textbooks don't, for the most part.

So I love that part about it. No doubts as to the quality or the approach.

My nagging concern about this program is the time required to implement it. It starts out with a couple of hour a day for kindergarten and skyrockets from there. And while some people might be okay with that, I have always believed that one of the huge benefits of homeschooling is that one can obtain a top-notch education without spending all day doing school. After all, most (or much) time spent in public/private school is often wasted time - sitting and waiting, passing papers out or in, passing period, breaks, etc. It really is possible to get pure academics done in a short amount of time and then leave the rest of a homeschool family's time for "life" things - baking cookies together, going on trips, playing, going to the library, etc. etc. etc. - that's one of the main reasons for homeschooling!

So the thought of having a time-intensive program does worry me, especially as one can expect the time required to mount exponentially when one adds more than one child into the mix.

And then there's the question of whether or not young children even need a formal curriculum. There's a lot of comfort in a prepackaged curriculum, but a lot of my veteran homeschooling friends maintain that young children need only some very basic academics (math and phonics) and then learn the rest of what they need from an active family life that includes tons of activities and trips and other mind-stimulating stuff. And I do concur on that "life" part - kids learn SO much from just being exposed to activities and places.

A dear friend of mine (who has produced two utterly amazing sons, one a geologist and the other a seminarian) maintains that all one needs in order to homeschool young children is a math curriculum and a library card. Considering the results that she has produced, I'm definitely not going to argue with her!

So I'm thinking of just starting this year with a math book and a phonics program, and focusing on filling the rest of our time with fun stuff that's also good for learning - reading aloud, cooking, baking, board games, trips, MOMS Club activities, local events, library, parks, etc. - and then seeing where we go from there.

But I'm not sure.

Homeschooling mamas out there, I would love to hear from you your opinions!!

Thanks for listening to my rant!!

Saturday (16w4d)

2011-08-27T08:23:00.000-07:00

Happy weekending, everyone!!

Last night I went out at night for the first time this pregnancy - to a ladies' board game night at our church. It was absolutely wonderful, even though I needed to leave early, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I love all-women events!! There's nothing quite like group female energy and fun, and it was a great time.

Besides baby showers and wedding showers, this was actually the first women's event I've been to in..... well, at least two years. Probably more. It's been a while, and I have really missed it.

Hoping they do more of these types of events!!

Then after I got home, we fulfilled a long-time promise to our eldest and had a family sleepover in the living room. DH on the couch, baby and I on the mattress, and DS on the floor. Oddly enough, I got better sleep than usual! It was fun.

I am doing really well. Stable on 24 mg Zofran and 6 Diclectin, hoping to cut something out again next week (not sure what). Feeling little tiny baby kicks off and on, though nothing in the "wow!!!" category yet. Maybe in a week or two!

The Chublet reached another milestone this past week - he reached a willingness to be put in the door bouncer!!! Hurray!!! Last month it was the exersaucer, and now the door bouncer. Good stuff, though it really is too long for him (lengthwise - he's almost kneeling, though I've shortened it as far as it will go). Of course, he still doesn't want to put his feet down, but we're getting there. One of his major challenges toward mobility is that he absolutely hates to put any weight through his hips. Most babies do that automatic stepping when you hold them up, but he immediately tucks his legs up and refuses to put any weight through them. Not good for someone who should have been walking a year ago! But we are progressing.

Speaking of the Chublet, I have been trying to find out if there is a Bumbo seat that holds larger children, as he is now over the 22 lb. weight limit for the normal Bumbo. Well, there is! And guess how much it costs? As opposed to $40 for a new baby-Bumbo, the slightly bigger Bumbo is two hundred dollars. I was reading reviews on it and someone said that companies feel that they can slap a ridiculous ticket price on anything labelled "special needs," and I guess that's the truth! So much for the bigger Bumbo.

Well, off to do all those Saturday morning things - and to route the sleepier members of the family out of bed!

Wednesday (16w1d)

2011-08-24T18:37:00.000-07:00

Hey, everyone!

Life over here in the parched desert is going well. Feeling better by ever-so-slight increments every day. There is no doubt that I have been so very, very blessed with this pregnancy. Still tired all the time and nauseated to various degrees constantly (everywhere from "minimal" to "hibernating in the bedroom" types of nausea), but on the whole this has been much easier than my last pregnancy (which was much easier than the one before that).

* Serious TMI alert *

If you're still reading, you have been warned.

This past week I realized, with a sigh, that my body is - once again - coming apart. Specifically, my pelvis is loosening up to the point where I can tell that the bones are moving. This is not something I noticed during my firstborn's pregnancy, but last time it showed up in force. The most noticeable part (this is really gross) is that I could notice the bones of the symphisis pubis rubbing against each other when I rocked back and forth between feet. At the time, I thought that it was beyond cool. That was before I realized how much discomfort I was going to be in! Now it creeps me out, and I am doing everything I can do to walk so that I can be in denial that it's happening again - i.e. so that I don't feel it. I need to get back to my chiropractor! (But being that I barter for adjustments with meals, that means I have to start cooking. Oh, my.)

Additionally, breastfeeding has gone from "mildly uncomfortable" to "yeouch!" It's not at serious pain levels, and I'm hoping it stays that way. This is pretty much the point where we ended up weaning last time, due to discomfort and loss of supply, so it will be interesting to see if we can muscle through this or not.

* End TMI alert *

The other day I went outside during the evening to play with our son, pretty much for the first time since I started feeling yucky. Didn't last long, because it is brutally hot, but it was interesting. Saw some of our neighbors whom I haven't seen for months.

Again, I find it interesting how easy it is to forget how life used to be pre-NVP - even though that was only three months ago! Every time I recuperate, it's really like learning life all over again. I can't believe how easily I forget things - how I did cleaning routines, how I planned meals, etc.

So thankful to be this far along!!

Have a great evening, all!

Sunday (15w5d)

2011-08-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

Hello, world!!

Made it to church today!! Third week in a row!!! The world is my oyster.

And it is so very lovely to be back among church family!!

Of course, we got there late.... only to realize that not only had we forgotten something (the kids' sheet I mentioned yesterday), but I'd forgotten that I'd left some whites soaking in an absurdly strong bleach solution at home..... so after spending a moment in undecided angst, we headed right back home again to right the wrongs and then return. Made it for the sermon, at least! (Though we missed the hymn sing.)

This afternoon I had my first post-diet dessert - we went out for ice cream!! Hurray!! A lot of fun, but sheesh! When did going out for ice cream become akin to investing in gold bullion? Almost fifteen dollars for three small ice creams? YIKES! If that is the way ice cream is going, we definitely can't do that very often!

Have dropped from seven diclectin down to six. I can definitely tell the difference, but I am holding the line, so I'll stay here and then try to reduce again in a week or so. Still on 24 mg per day Zofran.

As I slowly but steadily continue to feel better, my mind is turning to the more cheerful and exciting thoughts of later pregnancy, birth plans, and new baby things! So much fun!! I don't need to start prepping birth supplies yet, but it's just around the corner. Planning for a birth is so much fun. As of now I'm planning for a water labor, maybe a water birth.... we have a fun birth team, and it's going to be a lot of fun. Especially if I manage to get that birth cake made before labor kicks in for good! Yum.

Well, enough mooching - back to life. Feeling too nauseated to want to do anything, but I need to go shower and straighten up the house. Only 10 days before I have to start cooking.... yuck-o!! :)

Love to all!

Saturday (15w4d)

2011-08-20T19:49:00.000-07:00

Happy weekending, all!

Life here is going well. I am officially off the diet but am doing really well, all things considered. Yesterday morning, for the first time in a long time, I felt like a normal person. Still nauseated, but it was just wonderful. In fact, on Friday I actually cleaned our half-bathroom! I was so happy about that.

I've been wanting to clean that bathroom for about a week.... ever since one of our therapists asked to use the bathroom, and afterwards I went in to see what she must have seen..... ladies, it was ugly. Last time I was pregnant, I had only one child in diapers, so I had no idea what little boys are capable of doing to an ordinary bathroom when there's no mum around to do damage control. It's ugly. But much better now!

Today I really overdid it and am paying for it in subsequent exhaustion.... but life is still good. I am so thankful to be on the upward swing.

And yesterday DH and I sat down and went through the three months of neglected mail! Even better.

Tomorrow is church - hurray! And I am going to be trying these sheets (the younger version) to see if they interest our five-year-old. Hurray for wonderful bloggers who come up with such splendid ideas! I receive a world of inspiration from such godly, creative and devoted women who take the time to blog about their homemaking and parenting. (My favorites are on the sidebar!!)

Happy Sabbath!

Interesting Post

2011-08-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

Hi, everyone!

I copied this post from www.helpher.org into my HG research document about six months ago. Unfortunately, I can no longer find the original post (if anyone else has it, let me know so I can link). However, I wanted to share it with you all because the diet that this HG mama devised for herself - very successfully - bears an eerie resemblance to the diet that I have done this time around. This mother has no ties to Dr. Fox, so this is a case of the same conclusions arising from two separate lines of research.

I also wanted to post this because this mama, unlike myself, is a severe-HG mama, so the evidence of her testimony bears more weight than mine does (being that the HG I experienced with our firstborn was of a "milder" type).

According to a later post on this thread (that is, according to my best memory), the baby from this pregnancy was lost at 16 weeks. However, that was not due to viability issues but to an immune condition of the mother's. Thus, the mother was able to avoid HG (having had severe HG repeatedly in the past) using only the diet she devised for sixteen weeks, which is a pretty good testimony!

So... let me know what you think! Here it is:

(Later note: Here is the link (thanks, Jen!) - make sure to go through the comments too.)

***

ok friends, maybe it is to early to say, but I think I have a miracle here and you guys need to hear it. I have had 9 HG pregnancies, 5 landed in late first trimester miscarriages, and one was born premie at 35 weeks due to a placenta abruption.

I suffered terribly as you all have, throwing up nothing but blood and bile week on end, no bowel movements for weeks, key tones coming out my ying yang, heart palpitations, lungs filling with fluid, swelling in my brain and skull, having to use a bed pan, unable to walk or stand, black and blue arms, blown veins, etc, etc.

Unfortunately I never had good docs and the nurses were most often terrible, crackering me and accusing me of being lazy and causing my own suffering.

Anyways, I spent this last year preparing for my next pregnancy, I was determined I would not have HG this time (bet you all been there) and because I do medical research and freelance writing (mostly naturopathically) I decided that no one was better able to help me than myself. The hospitals sure were no help!

I came up with a very strict care plan that I figured just may work to keep me out of hospital.

I am in my sixth week of pregnancy, and guess what? I have not thrown up once! By my 5th week I am usually hospitalized I am SO sick. Today, I am going to visit friends, going for walks, etc. I am having my HCG monitored, so I will keep you posted as I hear back each week. I know it may be too early to say that what I am doing is the cause for how well I am, but I am hoping this is a viable pregnancy and my program is in deed working. I will share it with you guys now in the hopes that it may help, even one person. Please pass it along, as well I am not sure if I can post this to other threads?

First I will explain a few things about the body.

1)When our blood sugar spikes, even when we are not pregnant, it can cause a variety of symptoms, hot flashes and nausea are a few common ones. The most important thing a HG girl can do is make absolutely sure your blood sugar stays level all the time. Once out of control it will be some hard work to regain that control but it can be done. You may crave sugary treats, ice-cream, etc. Do not do it - it is not worth it - it will set you way back. Any ways, it does not taste so good coming up as it did going down!

2)During pregnancy our bodies need protein, and when we do not give it what it wants it will tell us it is not pleased in a variety of ways. HG is the way our bodies are telling us we need far more protein and a balance in blood sugar levels.

3) Hunger with HG ladies is usually not felt in the tummy with typical hunger sensations, we feel hunger in the sensation of nausea, weakness, dizziness, shakiness, etc. One of the most important things for us to do is never, never, never allow more than 1/2 hour to 1 hour go by without eating at least 5 grams of protein. One boiled egg is about 6 grams protein. If we keep our tummies constantly digesting protein, our bodies will naturally re-stabilize and count on the level blood sugar, and the nausea will subside. At first I forced myself to eat protein, now I can do it without the fight.

4) When we get dehydrated our nausea will get out of control as our blood concentrates with pregnancy hormones and the like. We need to find ways of staying hydrated and the IV unfortunately causes imbalances in electrolytes and this causes worse nausea. I have found whey protein isolate shakes with frozen fruit and water every 1-2 hours keeps me feeling awesome! (1/2 cup frozen fruit, 25 grams protein (1 large scoop), water to liquefy and stevia)

Here is what I recommend:

1)Absolutely nothing sweet (no banana's, sugar, honey, syrup, etc) with the exception of things slightly sweetened with Stevia.

2)Every single thing I eat must be well over 50% protein. That means I am living off of unflavoured whey protein isolate shakes with frozen fruit, almonds, almond butter, hemp protein shakes, chicken, eggs, beef, baked fish, canned fish, lots of cottage cheese, and a few multigrain corn chips to nibble on between shakes.

3)No high carb foods at all, no bread, cereal, treats, potatoes, rice, pasta, etc. No sauces of any sort, no preservatives, flavors, colors, sweeteners, etc. Just protein, that is the key here. At least until the HG is under control and lessened.

4) 2x500 mg ginger root pills every 4 hours during the day totally no more than 4 grams ginger root a day.

5)3x50mg B6 pills a day, and do not start day with it. I am doing this, but have not found when I miss it there is much difference. But if I miss my protein, I get hot, queezy and sick.

6) 1 tbsp certified pharmaceutical grade fish oil and 1 tbsp organic flax oil per day (maybe around bed time). A lack of Omega 3's will really mess us up, this is important. Baby takes stores from our brains if we do not get them ingested, this can lead to depression and worse ppd (postpartum depression).

7) Sleep with 2 drops of spearmint essential oils on pillow.

2x100mg progesterone x2 daily (vaginally)

9) 4-5 x 1000 IU's vitamin D drops

10) 250mg magnesium

11) When you sleep, sleep with a sleep mask on so you are in pitch black. You will feel welly rested when you wake up. Having a fan blowing on you helps as well.

That is what I have been doing, and even though I am not feeling perfect, I am not throwing up and I can be up and about a lot. I am not nauseated. I will let you guys know if my HCG levels are rising. If they are, we are on to something here - likely my next success book in the making!

Friday (15w3d)

2011-08-19T09:48:00.000-07:00

One plus about skipping a blogging day - time seems to pass more quickly! Wow, almost halfway through this week!

The last few days have been wacky around here. DH took Wednesday off because we had so many things going on with the car repairs that he really needed the time to take care of them. However, he then unexpectedly ended up taking off both Thursday and today (Friday) as one of his monthly headaches hit in full force. We're just cringing as to how his boss is going to react to that one.

DH gets debilitating headaches about once a month, and they usually follow the same triphasic pattern - warning headache, true headache (bad), then another true headache that is even worse but thankfully briefer. The entire process can take upwards of three days, and it usually eats up all of his sick time and some vacation time on top of it. I've never been able to talk him into seeing a doctor about it, though we do know that his headaches vanished completely when he was doing a low carb diet a few years ago. We've never been able to narrow down what exactly the cause of that was - was it the low carb? The wheat elimination? The vegetables??? I wish that we could know what it was so that we could reincorporate it into our lifestyle!

Anyhow, moving on.

DH and DS had a wonderful time at one of our local play places (in the break between phase II and phase III headaches last night!!) at the invitation of a sweet friend of ours (thank you!!). Our little guy hasn't had a lot of chances to run off energy this summer (hopefully to change soon), so that was just wonderful.

And..... yesterday I did something tremendous (prepare yourself!) - I dusted and vacuumed!! Is that amazing, or WHAT? Not saying that I did a good job (I didn't), but it was very satisfying.

Lovely monsoon last night - we didn't get the rain, but we did get the wind, which I love.

Two more weeks till we have DH's family over for our littlest guy's birthday. Do I even try to attack the effects of three months of housecleaning neglect, or just give up and say "I've been sick! Ignore the dirt!" Possibly a combination of the two.

Okay, off to try to do this day. This weekend, church again - hurray! Going to try to make it for the third time in a row, which would be lovely.

Tuesday (15w1d)

2011-08-17T09:52:00.000-07:00

Sorry I didn't check in yesterday! Yesterday was just one of those blech days when I moped around the house feeling yucky and falling asleep in random places.

But, on the bright side, we are at fifteen weeks!! Inching closer to that magical 20 weeks - I remember that by last time I felt pretty close to okay by 20 weeks, so hoping for the same this time. Especially as I have promised to start cooking in two weeks! (Yuck!)

This has been a crazy week. Remember how we had both of our cars in the shop last week? Well, all of the problems that we got "fixed" - on both cars! - reappeared this week in full force, plus some, so we are currently having a repeat of last week in having cars in and out - and in and out - of the shop.

Plus therapy for baby, plus flood irrigation, plus yard work, plus dentist appointments, etc. Very tiring!

My new midwife holds a biweekly discussion/fellowship group for her expecting clients (and any other expectant mamas who want to come), and I really wanted to attend last night - but just couldn't manage it. Nights are still the worst time, and by the time late afternoon/early evening rolls around, I am ready to collapse. Hopefully soon! I'd love to hook up with this group - it sounds like a lot of fun.

But, as I said before, I can still tell that I'm getting a lot better - very thankful for that. Very thankful not to have to get up to eat during the night, or to have to eat before getting out of bed - very nice.

You know, *foodment* the cliches about pickles and pregnant women really are true. Pickles are wonderful. I'm eating a ton of them right now, and they work wonderfully to cover up the taste of other food. Thank goodness for pickles! And for Sprouts and Trader Joe's, who carry dye-free pickles!!! Have you ever wondered why on earth pickle companies ever started pumping their pickles full of yellow dye? I mean, they really look so much better without the ghostly yellow glow. Very odd. *End foodment*

Back to normal life, have a great day, all!

Monday (14w6d)

2011-08-15T09:53:00.000-07:00

One more day, and then HELLO fifteen weeks!!! :)

Announcement of the day: Until further notice, the diet and I are officially parting ways!! Hurray! Eating carbs is pure heaven, let me tell you!! I'm still trying not to take it overboard (i.e. still eating lots of protein and going lightly with simple carbs), but I'm no longer keeping strictly to VLC.

Now the question: Did the diet WORK? Good question. I will be writing a long and boring analysis at a later date, probably at around 20 weeks. In the meantime, I'll be thinking it over. Unfortunately there's no really clear-cut answer.

Yesterday was a good day. I made it to church again (hurray!!) and really enjoyed it. Two months of being out is a long time!! Then, because DH and DS were super-late getting home, I got to do even more work on my files, and am almost done with decluttering all of our files! So much fun.

This year I finally got the guts to admit that I am never, never, never going to get around to all those Martha Stewart projects that I cut out of her magazine because they were so gorgeous. I'm just not the crafty type and never will be, so it was just lovely to dump about ten pounds of craft cuttings out of my personal files. Reality may be sobering, but it's also a relief not to hold oneself to impossible and unnatural standards! Farewell, hand-beaded Christmas ornaments and hand-stitched napkin holders! Such a relief.

Forgot to mention that we got to see DH's sister on TV last week - she was doing a national singing competition and was one of the Western finalists. We found that she was given a short spot - only part of her song was shown, but considering that a lot of contestants were skipped altogether, she was lucky to be shown at all. A lot of fun.

However, as we watched the show, I found myself reflecting that I'm glad we don't watch a lot of TV (for us it's usually just sports for DH and super-old movies for the two of us). I was really shocked at the crudeness and rudeness of the judges, and even more so at the commercials. It's really true that America is constantly seeking (and finding) new lows in media expression! I was really glad to turn it off when my SIL's part was over.

Okay, off to do something productive!! Have an awesome day, everyone!!

Sunday (14w5d)

2011-08-14T13:03:00.000-07:00

Happy Sabbath, all!

Just back from my second week at church! Tiring, but I'm so thankful to be back among my church family. Just lovely!

Yesterday was an absolutely fabulous day! Didn't feel that awesome, but with DH and our eldest out of the house on their second attempt at a trip to Grandma and Grandpa's (successful!), I had a marvelous time cleaning out files (I love throwing things away!) and going through toys to de-junk them and straighten. Lovely! With a few breaks, I kept at it - slowly! - most of the day and got a lot done.

And it was so nice not to be interrupted every 30 seconds, or see my work being undone almost as soon as it was finished!!

And, to be honest, it was lovely to have some alone time. I have an intense craving for periods of solitude (probably the result of growing up as an only child), and with a growing family that just doesn't happen! In fact, looking back, I think that I can say that that was one of the biggest stresses following the birth of our firstborn - having to learn how to deal with never being alone.

So I thoroughly enjoyed my day!

DH and DS are about 15 minutes from home now, so family life will resume as normal. But with clean files, hurray!!

I am starting to feel the dawn of a great desire to rip apart the house and clean/declutter/organize it. Don't have the energy to follow through yet, but hopefully that will come. Bring it on!!

I am getting better rapidly, I believe - faster than I ever have. Frankly, I think we really must have a girl in there. That is, if it is a boy, I shall probably go through the rest of my life with a permanently shocked expression on my face. This pregnancy has been so very different!

I'm going to wait one more week and then try again to start tapering medications. Right now I'm on 24 mg Zofran and 7 Diclectin per day. I'd like to start dropping that. I think last time I was able to taper to zero meds by around the early 30-something week mark. Sooner would be better if I can swing it!

Love to all, have a wonderful Sabbath!!

Saturday (14w4d)

2011-08-13T12:44:00.000-07:00

Happy weekending, all!

And don't you love the uber-creative blog entry names I've been coming up with these past few months? LOL! At least they will be easy to search through for the future!

Baby and I are once again on our own today, so I have begun tackling the paper nightmare. You've no idea what three solid months of utter neglect can do! My tasks for today (some are done or partly done) - clean out 2010's files, file AWANA and preschool papers, update 2011 tax notebook with medical and mileage records, update car records notebook, go through my own clutter, file, etc. Too bad I have only one day! But I'll have to be careful not to overdo it anyhow - easy to do since I'm feeling pretty okay-ish.

Have a great weekend, all! Going to try to make it to church again tomorrow, so that will be tomorrow's adventure.

Friday (14w3d)

2011-08-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

Moving closer to 15 weeks!!!

Last time I remember that time crawled until 20 weeks, which was when I wanted it to slow down - at which point it sped up drastically - looks like it'll be the same this time!

Yesterday was okay, not bad at all. Experimenting with all the wild and wonderful things that can be done with *foodment* low-carb tortillas. Delicious. *End foodment* This is probably going to be the part of the pregnancy where I gain a ridiculous amount of weight from being so hungry. Oh, well. There are worse things! (Like active HG!! So I'm not complaining!!!)

Tomorrow I will once again be on my own, and I have decided that instead of cleaning (which is a bit pointless since I can't maintain it right now), I am going to tackle the paperwork monster, which is also less energy intensive. Not only have I still not cleared 2010's papers out of our files, I haven't been keeping up on our records for taxes, or dealing with paper clutter, or filing, or anything like that. Not to mention that DH hasn't opened any mail since I started feeling badly two months ago - not that I'm going to take on that disaster, but I can at least clear my own papers out of the way so the mail is easier for him to find.

That and I'll probably take advantage of a child-free moment to go through DS's room and the front-room toys (i.e. to throw out a bunch of clutter). DS is the biggest trash packrat I've ever met! I don't remember being so attached to every bit of waste paper and string and broken plastic etc. I usually maintain a steady stream of secret trips to the trash can to keep things under control, but it's gotten bad these past few months.

Love to all out there!!

Thursday (14w2d)

2011-08-11T15:32:00.000-07:00

Hey, all -

Hope everyone is doing well out there!

Not much new around here, just trying to keep life going and the kids fed while waiting to feel better and move on with life. I've told DH that I will start cooking dinner again in September, so I'll have to get it together by then.

I have been - I'm afraid - cheating on the VLC diet quite a bit these past few days. End result - right now I feel absolutely terrible!! However, I'm just SO tired of eating very-low-carb, and knowing that (most likely) the worst danger zone is past is making me reckless. Regular food just tastes so good! Of course, I'm not really eating high-carb - just more like low-carb as opposed to very-low-carb. But apparently my body doesn't approve!

We'll see whether my brain or my body wins the day. Results to come.

Have a good day, all......

Wednesday (14w1d)

2011-08-10T12:28:00.000-07:00

Howdy, all!

*Foodment*

Yesterday started out normally, but as the day progressed..... all I could think about was food. Food that is NOT part of this diet I'm doing! Mostly pizza. :) So, by the end of the day, I broke down and gave in - and ate a burrito for dinner. Not even half, as intended - the whole thing!! I had them take out the rice and add meat, to make it higher-protein and lower-carb, but still - definitely not very low carb, LOL!

Well, first observation is that the above changes pretty much ruined a good vegetarian burrito. It didn't taste that great.

But more importantly, I enjoyed it thoroughly despite that! It was SO nice to eat something besides eggs, cheese, ham, and, um, well, that's about it. It was a blessed relief.

The after-effects?

Well, I can definitely see that there was a bad effect from it. Definitely a turn for the worse today. We'll have to see how the day plays out, because afternoons/evenings are always worse.

But for now, it was worth it. I may be planning more indiscretions soon. Not too soon, but soon.

I seem to recall that I lost my self-control with my first babe at about the same time. That's the HG pregnancy where I was on a liquid diet to control the vomiting. Right around the end of the first trimester I tossed it to the wind and started eating small bits of solid food again because I was at the end of my rope, even though it started the throwing-up cycle again. However, I think at this point that it's safer territory than, say, nine weeks, so going backward a little is okay - not catastrophic.

And yesterday I managed to COOK breakfast for our son! Scrambled eggs and toast, my goodness! I was so impressed with myself.

Just found out that I will be hosting DH's family in three weeks for our little guy's second birthday. I am exhausted just thinking about it! I love DH's family dearly, but hosting in-laws is stressful, especially with the state our house is in! Especially as both my SIL and my MIL should have their homes listed in House Beautiful. Even my normal housekeeping comes far, far below their standards, so NVP housekeeping levels are ten times below that, LOL!! We are going to take everyone out for pizza before coming back for cake, so it should be okay - hopefully I'll be able to eat some of it by then!!

Oh, and biggest news - BABY KICKS! Yes, really! The first real "that was a KICK!" was on Monday afternoon (13w6d), and since then I have felt definite movement, though most of it isn't quite that distinct.

Baby kicks are my favorite things in the world. Having now lived for thirty years (though I missed my birthday this year), I have not yet experienced anything as wonderful as baby kicks. Looking forward to the next 26 weeks of them!!!

Speaking of birthdays, this summer (our birthday season) has been littered with botched birthdays and holidays. My birthday we ignored completely, by my request..... my FIL's birthday was horribly neglected (we just now bought him his present), as was my dad's.... our son's 5th birthday was vastly scaled down and our anniversary was also completely ignored. I don't think we'll have time to make them up, but we'll have to do better next year. Though I may request a dinner out to make up for the lost 30th birthday!! :)

My MIL told me a while ago that her 30th birthday was a horrible experience - it occurred when she was at death's door due to severe rheumatoid arthritis, and she remembers looking in the mirror and feeling like death and not caring a bit about her birthday.

Well, back to it! I'm so glad to be on the upward march, even if I am paying for the burrito. Love to all!

Tuesday - FOURTEEN WEEKS!!

2011-08-09T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hurray for a new week!! Always so exciting to pass the week marker.

Yesterday was busy - a bit too busy! We had baby's therapy in the morning, and then our first midwife appointment in the afternoon - fun! We got to meet another of her students, as well as see our lovely chiropractor (just saying hi - she works in our midwife's office space) and had fun chatting. It was a lot of fun. I also asked what hospitals she transports to and found that our choice of hospitals is among them, so that was good!! (Though hopefully the issue will never come up!)

We also had a lot of activity yesterday getting the cars too and from the shop to be fixed - thankfully car #1 is fixed and car #2 should be done today. Hurray!

After our midwife's appointment we came home and I felt good and YUCK for the rest of the day. Either the high activity levels, or the heat, or too many blueberries, or a combination thereof - or just randomness - but it was yucky. Oh, well! A good day otherwise.

Fighting the urge to go out and eat every bit of junk food I can lay my hands on. :)

I'm hoping that I'll get a good couple of months of nesting energy at the end of this thing so that I can repair the damage being done to the house through neglect (plus hubby plus kids!). With my first pregnancy, I only got about three hours of nesting energy (the night before our labor started) - I think my body was just too exhausted from the HG to pick up on any nesting signals. With our last, I did get about two months of energy/motivation - hoping for the same thing this time!

Have a good day, all!

Monday (13w6d)

2011-08-08T11:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday.... I FINALLY made it to church!! Hurray! Felt like I'd conquered a small country. Fun, though utterly exhausting. How can getting the family in the car, driving over and sitting for an hour and a half and then coming home feel like having run a marathon??

I was pretty much shot for the rest of the day. But it was fun.

It felt distinctly odd to be back - like it had been years and years. It's actually been just on two months. Since I've been there last, an entire BUILDING has been built on what was a dirt lot when last I saw it! My goodness.

Feeling crummy but still much better. Sticking to the diet, though doing a lot of cheating with *foodment* blueberries. And technically the cottage cheese is off-limits too, but I figure it's low-carb/high-protein enough to work at this point in the game. Counting down till September - my first adventure is definitely going to be a vegetarian burrito; hopefully it won't result in catastrophe.

I must admit that I am having a hard time missing out on summer fruit. This is the first time I've been pregnant over the summer, and seeing all of the fruit pass me by is hard! I usually pretty much live on fruit between June and September. Well, at least I'll be back in things for the holidays and Lepkuchen Day. Small consolation, but something! *End foodment*

I was talking to a friend yesterday about being newly pregnant over summer. Now having done it both ways, I must say that I much prefer having the end of pregnancy during the summer months than the beginning of pregnancy. When it comes to end-of-pregnancy discomforts or nausea, I'd much rather have the former during hot months than the nausea. What do you all think?

It's just a few weeks till AWANA and preschool start up, so hopefully my energy levels will rise in time to meet those challenges. Also, I'm hoping to start our homeschool curriculum in September, and I still haven't even ordered that! Hopefully soon.

I have been thinking about homeschooling and the homeschooling calendar, and it came to me that it might be fun to do something crazy like start the school year in May! I utterly despise Phoenix summers, so that would keep us indoors during the horrible months around here, and we could do bigger breaks during the pleasant months. It would mean messing with my life-long habits of associating September with the start of school, but it might be fun, though it would mean being out of sync with the rest of the known world. What do you think? Anyone out there do something similar?

DH is telecommuting today so that he can see to getting the cars worked on, which is going well. One car is done, the other is on its way! Hurray! We are going to have to see about exchanging one of our cars for a vehicle that will hold three car seats, so that will be a challenge for this coming fall.

Have a great day, all!

Sunday (13w5d)

2011-08-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was okay! I think I've caught the upward trend at last. But no guarantees. However, I am noticing small improvements. Being able to go longer without eating, sometimes not having to get up during the night to eat - and I no longer have to eat before getting out of bed in the mornings! I get something as soon as I get up, but I don't have to munch before putting my feet on the ground. Very nice. Still feel crummy and exhausted most of the time, but hey, not bad.

Yesterday was to be a big day - DH and our eldest were taking off for a 24 hour overnight trip to Grandma and Grandpa's. Our son had been wanting to go for some time, and since I don't think I'll be able to go for a while, we planned that the two of them would go up. This was going to be the first night that DH had been away from our little guy, and the first night ever (in over five years) that I had been away from our eldest. He's been ready for it for quite some time (as have I!), but definitely an adventure.

After they took off, I spent about an hour mooching on the bed. Then I decided that I would like to attempt some small bit of cleaning, so I gave it a go. I knew that there was no chance I could pull off something crazy like vacuuming the whole house, or anything like that, so I picked the least dirty room in the house - our room - and just went in there to see what I could do on very limited energy reserves!

I didn't do too badly! I managed to dust and vacuum in there, as well as straightening up, dealing vaguely with some clutter, and changing the bed linens. I didn't even try to tackle the master bath. (Though I am quickly learning what toilets start to look like when mommy is too sick to clean and there are young boys in the house. Enough said.) Of course, that little bit took me two hours, but I was very pleased with myself.

And there is no way I could have accomplished that at this point in my last pregnancy - no way! That would have been in the 20+ week mark. As I've said, I have been blessed.

Anyhow, about two hours in I got a phone call from DH saying that they were broken down (this seems to be a habit of our family). At first they were hoping to replace the battery and continue on, but it turned out to be the alternator and they had to come back. Disappointment on all sides! But the trip has been rescheduled, so we'll give it another go next time.

Have a good night, all!

Adding Two More....

2011-08-06T19:04:00.000-07:00

To my list of Goals & Wishes for Pregnancy & Birth! I'll copy these into the original doc, too.

Short Second Stage

Most women love the pushing phase during a birth. They feel that they can get involved and be an active participant rather than a bystander (of sorts). I'm the opposite! I really don't like pushing. First time it was an hour or two, second time was..... oh, 20-30 minutes, not sure. But I would LOVE to have one of those one-or-two push births - that would be lovely!

Again, any ladies out there who have not experienced a birth yet, take heart - as I've said - most women really enjoy the pushing phase.

A Butter Birth!

A butter birth is a phrase used by midwives to describe a birth that is quick, easy, and where the baby slips out easily "like butter." I would love one of these! Can I put my order in now, please?

Meanwhile, On the Other Blog....

2011-08-06T14:22:00.000-07:00

I finally finished writing up the story of our breastfeeding adventures with our little guy! Just in time for World Breastfeeding Week, and also just in time for his second birthday. Think it took long enough? Check it out if you're interested on my other blog!

Saturday (13w4d)

2011-08-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally missed a day of blogging! No real reason, just laziness and fatigue. Ah, well.

Thursday was an exceptionally good day. No serious nausea anywhere. It was just lovely.

And as a result, on Friday I got.... too cocky for my own good. I messed around with my medication schedule in a big way. Late on this dose, skipped this dose.... and then paid for it. Bad idea. Yesterday was yucky. Today I am back to my strict schedule, and am planning to stay there! Earlier this week I successfully shaved off one dose of Diclectin, but I think I need to wait a few weeks before making any more changes.

Last night our eldest burst into the front room and declared dramatically, "Daddy, you have to come! It's a 'mergency! There's a big bug on the wall with those clampy-clampy things!!" I thought he must mean an earwig, considering that he knows very well what a scorpion is, but indeed it was a scorpion. Scorpion dispatched, crisis over. It was extremely amusing! He can be so dramatic - quite the drama king.

We are extremely used to scorpions in this house. Nowadays we don't get that many - sometimes none for a month or more during the winter, more in the summer - but when we moved in the house was infested and we found several a day. Even I, the consummate nature-lover, became accustomed to killing them.

Well, I am going to be on my own today (with baby).... I wonder what I should do? If I were by myself, I know exactly what I would do - that is, sleep all day - but I'll have to keep up some level of activity to amuse the little guy. Some part of me thinks that I should gird up my loins and try some housekeeping (haven't done any since early June), but another part of me is whispering caution, as we all know the end-result of overdoing things. I don't know. Can't say I actually want to clean, much as the accumulated grime bothers me. Sleep is much more inviting.

I am definitely going to try to make church tomorrow. Unfortunately I shall have to do it in a non-air-conditioned car, which makes me nervous about baby. However, I'm hoping that strategically-placed ice packs will make it okay. Suggestions, anyone?

Have a great day, all!!!

Thursday (13w2d)

2011-08-04T11:14:00.000-07:00

Hi, everyone!

Yesterday was not quite in the awesomeness category, but not too bad. I feel like the trend is still moving upwards, even though it's always a back-and-forth kind of deal.

I mentioned that the naturopathic physician mentioned a couple of supplements yesterday - here they are. They are by the company Thorne:

5-MTHF (this is a form of folate), 1 mg, 60 caps - cost at the college medicinary was $16.70, cost online is $17.50

B complex #6, 60 caps - cost at college medicinary was $14.50, cost online is $15.35

Now that I see that it was cheaper to buy in person, I wish I had done so!

So there you have it. I'm going to talk to the hubs about trying these out, so we'll see how they go.

* I forgot to mention earlier - the dosage is 2 caps of each per day, so this would be a one month supply for about $30.

Moving on...

Yesterday we got some awesome news! One of the wonderful doulas who attended our last birth, Rose (you can see pics of her on my other blog under my birth story - she is AWESOME!) has become - as of yesterday - an apprentice midwife. AND, under whom should she be apprenticing but the very midwife we just decided to go with! Is that awesome, or what? I am so very excited. Rose was made to be a midwife, and I am very excited that we will get to be under her care during this pregnancy. It also felt like a confirmation that we made the right choice of care providers for this pregnancy.

Okay, off to work through this day!! August is countdown month!

Wednesday (13w1d)

2011-08-03T10:39:00.000-07:00

Greetings, all!

Yesterday was quite decent - nothing to complain about in the scheme of things.

I'm telling you, either this diet is working, or we've got a girl, or.... both. This has been the easiest pregnancy ever. Sounds weird to say when I've just spent months feeling plain awful, but it pales in comparison to either of my two last. Not that I'm complaining!!!

Yesterday I trekked over to the naturopathic college for a vitamin shot. Interesting experience! I got a student who was new at giving IM injections, so she had an attending doctor giving her instructions while she did it. It is extremely scary to be given a shot by a student who is being actively coached by her teacher! "Okay, put your finger there, then move it over here, now put the needle in there, about halfway, etc. etc. etc." Yikes!!!! Scary!!

But in the end, it actually turned out really well. First of all, she did a great job. But secondly, the attending doctor had her use a smaller gauge needle than the others have, plus he added a spot of lidocaine to the mix - so not only did the shot hurt less, but there was none of the usual pain/burning that usually accompanies it! Wonderful!!

The doctor also gave me the name of two supplements to order online, and says that he believes I could probably stop coming in for shots if I got them. Hurray! I was planning on doing that anyway, or at least spacing them out, since I didn't notice any ill effects from skipping last week.

In other subjects:

Have been doing a good deal of cheating with *foodment* blueberries. Yum. Thankfully they're a rather low-carb fruit, as fruit goes (17g/cup), so hopefully it's an innocent indiscretion. *end foodment*

Thankfully we're also on the countdown till the end of August - my self-imposed "reintroduce carbs" date - because I am going to go stark raving mad otherwise.

We will have our first midwife appointment probably next week - should be fun!

Oh, and.... baby flutters? Just maybe? The kind that start off so slightly that one is not sure if they're real or not. But it's a start!

That and a tummy the size of the Louisiana Purchase. How does an infant two inches long need this much room???

Love to all!

Tuesday (13w0d)

2011-08-02T13:20:00.000-07:00

Did you catch that? THIRTEEN WEEKS!! Hurray! Farewell, first trimester!!

There is no doubt that yesterday and these past few days have been better - much better - than average. I'm trying to (a) not count on it continuing, and (b) not overdo things (which I typically do when feeling better). But it is nice! I'm still feeling crummy, but just normal-crummy rather than super-crummy. Nice.

And last night was the BEST sleep I have had in months! No nightmares or upset tummies for the 5yo, no fussing from the 2yo, and I didn't even have to get up to eat! Just once for meds. It was lovely.

Yesterday DH walked in the door smelling to high heaven of whatever he had eaten for lunch - it was some Korean dish that involved kimchi - it was absolutely horrid! I couldn't get within ten feet of him. I have a hard time with people smells anyhow during pregnancy, but this really sent it over the edge. He ended up volunteering to sleep on the couch, and I exacted a promise that he would try to avoid such noisome food items until my nausea levels are at a level where I can handle things like that!! I'm sure that will be an amusing memory.

Anyhow, onto the second trimester! We have selected a midwife and are ready to move ahead, so that will be fun.

Hoping that this upward trend becomes permanent!!

Monday (12w6d)

2011-08-01T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hurray for August!! I always consider August to be the death-knell of summer, and that can't come too quickly for me. Of course, we still have at least three or more months of summer around here, but August is always the first sign of hope.

And HURRAY for the last day of the first trimester! That too can't come too quickly. Tomorrow I expect to wake up and find that all NVP has vanished! Mwa ha ha ha ha!!

Okay, but seriously, it is cheering to move into the second trimester. Tomorrow it is!

Yesterday was really quite decent! No complaints at all. Praying for a consistent trend!

Last night was quite an adventure. We've been having issues with our son waking up with nightmares, and last night starting at 2:00 a.m. he woke up crying every 15-30 minutes for the rest of the night. My goodness. And since having DH answer nocturnal calls of sick or crying children is.... let me put it gently.... absolutely disastrous for all involved, I was the responder to all nightmares. I spent a lot of time up and wandering the house last night!!

Praying for another good day today!

Goals & Wishes for Pregnancy & Birth

2011-07-31T12:27:00.000-07:00

Originally I titled this "goals" only, but then realized that a lot of items on this list are not even up to me! So here is a random list that I've jotted down of things that I'd like for this pregnancy and birth.

To feel better soon

I would really like to enjoy this pregnancy, or a majority of it.... So I would love it if the NVP could clear up quickly! Of course, though, I know that I have been blessed beyond measure - NVP but no HG. I'll settle for that if need be. :)

To gain less baby weight

Last time I gained a ton of weight, and almost half of it stayed around after baby and was impossible to get rid of (until I did this recent low carb thing). This time, while not being unhealthy, I want to keep my weight gain in a more reasonable range.

Labor with intact membranes, and/or birth en caul

Rumor has it that laboring with intact membranes is much more comfortable, so I'd like to try it! Both of my labors have begun with SROM (spontaneous rupture of membranes), which is handy for timing labor (I know the length of my labors down to the minute) but less comfortable.

It is said that increased vitamin K can help strengthen membranes, so when I'm feeling better, I'm going to try to get back to my green smoothies, which are really high in vitamin K.

I would also love-love-LOVE a birth en caul, that is, where the baby is born with intact membranes around it. In most traditional cultures there are special traditions and beliefs and blessings surrounding births en caul, and I would love to experience one of those births myself.

You can see some birth en caul pictures here.

I used to think that births en caul were almost impossibly rare, but it turns out that that is not so! They are almost extinct in the hospital environment simply because most doctors insist on rupturing membranes if they have not already released naturally, thus eliminating the possibility of a caul. But the midwives whom I know on Facebook regularly report caul births, so they're not nearly as rare as I once thought (though they are still unusual).

Make a birth cake

It is common practice for midwives to recommend that mamas - especially first-time mamas - spend their time in early labor making a birthday cake for the baby. It calms nervous energy and gives them something to do, and then the entire birth team can enjoy the cake and celebrate after the birth. Fun!!

I have intended to make a birth cake with both of my births, and failed with each! Both times, labor has grabbed my attention and said "It's time to labor, forget about anything else!" So no birth cake. I'd like to try again.... I'm thinking of mixing up dry ingredients ahead of time so that there wouldn't be too much work to do.

Maybe another waterbirth

I have had one land birth and one water birth. For labor, water is wonderful-wonderful-WONDERFUL and I will never voluntarily do active labor in any other way!!! For second stage pushing, though, I am okay with land or water. But waterbirths are fun! So it might be fun to have another, even though I'm okay with either one.

Handle labor better, more enjoyably

I guess I'd better just admit it. Though I've had two unmedicated births (and am extremely happy about that!), when it comes to labor, I am just.... bad at it. I've never really gotten the hang of it. All of that "relax, release, deepen" stuff? Well, I'm afraid that my instinctual (and unavoidable) response has been more along the lines of "tighten, tense, panic". I'll never be one of those birthing goddesses that one sees!

But I would like to be able to labor more comfortably. I have wondered if I would benefit from a Brio/Bradley or Hypnobabies course (we took Hypnobirthing with our first, and it did not help). And really, I would love to take one of those classes anyway - I just don't know if I want to (or can!) spend the money. Class costs plus babysitting add up to a considerable price tag! So we'll have to think. I should probably also ask my midwife.

Be able to manage after-pains so as to be able to enjoy first postpartum hour with baby

With both babies, I have had problems with severe afterpains - so severe that I have had to hand the baby off to someone else and just focus on getting through them. Both times I have missed out on bonding/holding time and on the breastfeeding window - that is, the first hour post-birth when baby is awake and alert. After that, they get quite sleepy and initiating breastfeeding is much harder.

With my last birth, I arranged to take four Advil as soon as the baby was born in order to get a head start on the afterpains. That did absolutely nothing for them! Too bad. However, the placenta smoothie that I had a bit later had an amazing effect on afterpains, and with the aid of more placenta medicine my second experience with afterpains, though yucky, was much better than my first. So I already have it written into my birth plan to do a placenta smoothie as soon as is humanly possible, and we'll see what that can do.

If anyone out there is still dry-heaving at the thought of placenta medicine, let me just say - try it before you condemn it, because gosh golly, it WORKS. Amazingly. For postpartum bleeding, for preventing baby blues, for stabilizing emotions, for regaining energy, for afterpains - it truly works. I can't wait to try it again. (And most placenta medicine is encapsulated - that is, the placenta is dried and put into gel caps, so the gross factor is really reduced.)

Have a better start to breastfeeding

I'm afraid that both of our babies have had absolutely disastrous starts to breastfeeding. I thought it was bad with our first.... until we had our second. Yowzer. I would really like to have a baby who takes easily to the breast and does not give us nightmares with breastfeeding!

On that note, I would like to mention the importance of being surrounded by breast-feeding supportive caregivers! I do not think either of our babies would have survived with an intact breastfeeding relationship had we not been covered on all sides by women (midwives, doulas) cheering us on, plus a breastfeeding supportive pediatrician. I had no idea when I started out that breastfeeding could be such a challenge, or that it could require so much support.

***
Added later:

Short Second Stage

Most women love the pushing phase during a birth. They feel that they can get involved and be an active participant rather than a bystander (of sorts). I'm the opposite! I really don't like pushing. First time it was an hour or two, second time was..... oh, 20-30 minutes, not sure. But I would LOVE to have one of those one-or-two push births - that would be lovely!

Again, any ladies out there who have not experienced a birth yet, take heart - as I've said - most women really enjoy the pushing phase.

A Butter Birth!

A butter birth is a phrase used by midwives to describe a birth that is quick, easy, and where the baby slips out easily "like butter." I would love one of these! Can I put my order in now, please?

***

Well, that's about it! I'm sure I'll add to this list at a later date. What are some goals and/or wishes that you have for your future births?

Sunday (12w5d)

2011-07-31T11:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was again, average or slightly better-than. Hurray!

Some sweet friends of ours invited DH and our eldest over for swimming and dinner, so they went off to do that yesterday afternoon. I hated to miss out, but I was so happy that they were able to get out. This summer has not been much fun for our poor 5yo. No outings, no people over, no playdates, no parks (except in the evenings with daddy), none of our usual activity - just staying home while mommy is sick! So I was so glad that they got to get out and spend some time with friends.

While they were gone, I managed to...... clean up the kitchen (badly) and finish a load and a half of laundry! I was so proud of myself! Of course, it took two hours, but it was something. Exhausting!!

We have set ourselves tonight for a deadline of making a decision about choosing a midwife. I have experienced so much confusion and angst over this - it's not even funny. I can't believe how difficult it's been. But we need to move ahead, and I feel horrible about how long we've made our first-interviewed midwife wait (almost two weeks), so we need to make a decision. Would appreciate prayers for clarity and guidance!!

Have started eating *foodment* cottage cheese successfully, which is a blessing, considering that my food choices are constantly being eliminated and are an ever-dwindling pool. Have also been cheating with small amounts (1/8 cup) of frozen blueberries. Yum. If I make it through August on the diet, it'll be a miracle. However, reading back into my last-pregnancy diary (I am so glad I have that, it has been an invaluable resource), I see that last time I was throwing up into the late teen weeks. I don't want to scratch the diet only to go back to throwing up, so I'm going to do my best to keep on through this coming month. *End foodment*

Happy Sabbath!

Saturday (12w4d)

2011-07-30T17:23:00.000-07:00

Not much going on here! Yesterday was average, or a bit better than average. Hoping it stays that way, and that I can catch the true upward trend soon!! It feels like a long time till 19/20 weeks, but it will get here..... right?

I would update more, but my brain is intensely dead. Hope everyone has a great weekend! Going to attempt to make church tomorrow, so will see how that goes.

Friday (12w3d)

2011-07-29T11:14:00.000-07:00

Greetings, all!

Yesterday was unexpectedly mild - such a nice break after a really yucky week. Such a relief. Now let's hope it turns into a trend!

Something funny - On Tuesday (12w0d), I woke up with a headache. A couple of hours later, I checked my pregnancy week-by-week calendar, only to be told that "At this time you may start experiencing headaches." Wow, what timing!! Unfortunately I've had a headache off and on ever since, but not too bad. Same as the other two pregnancies. But good timing!

Yesterday for fun I took an online gender prediction quiz (one of the ones that is based on a compilation of old wives' tales). It came out at 67% chance of a girl! Pretty high, actually - most other times I've taken it (with previous pregnancies) it's usually been a pretty even split. I guess I'd better resign myself, LOL!! :) If that's the case, we won't get to use our really awesome boy name - we found one so obscure that it hasn't been in the top 1000 names since the '50's!! (Guesses, anyone?) I love finding obscure names! Our top girl name (which we can't use because it's too much like one of our already-used names) hasn't been in the top 1000 names in even longer - but our next choice is more popular, in the 150's range. Not too bad, I guess.

It's always so much fun to find out baby's gender at birth..... I think that's one of the most fun moments for both of us. And at the present time I'm still not really planning on doing an ultrasound, so I won't have to worry about the tech slipping. Thank goodness!!

I read more of my pregnancy journal, and found that it was sometime in week 19 that I said "I'm feeling pretty good on a consistent basis now." So..... seven more weeks, or so. Hoping for sooner!!

Have a great day, everyone!

Thursday (12w2d)

2011-07-28T10:13:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone's having a good week!

Yesterday was pretty yucky. Very discouraging.

But last night was unexpectedly good, which was nice.

Have you ever wondered why children's ailments crop up so much at night? After being much better since midday, our 5yo's hurting tummy started acting up again in the late evening. After thinking it over, DH suggested that we let him sleep on a pallet in our room, an idea which we ended up adopting. Good thing, too, because DS woke up crying at least 10-15 times last night. It wasn't as severe as night before last, though, so we were able just to wake up, say "It's okay, go back to sleep, etc.", and go back to sleep ourselves. Much better than being thoroughly awakened every half hour and having to tramp down to his room!

Of course, now the issue will be determining when he's really sick, because he LOVED being in our room and is already conditioning for tonight. But it was definitely worth it not to be up until 5:00 a.m. again!!!

I don't think there's any other news. I'm so glad to be almost through the first trimester, but it still seems like time is stretching out dreadfully in front of me. It's hard to stay hopeful when it feels like eternity!

But enough whining. Hoping for a better day today, and for time to pass quickly. Love to all!

p.s. I owe emails or comment-replies to several of you.... I'm so sorry I'm taking so long (all of my correspondence is suffering). I will get back with you all soon!

Wednesday (12w1d)

2011-07-27T10:44:00.000-07:00

Moving along....

Yesterday was yucky again, with a super-yucky evening. I've got to admit, this week has been pretty awful. I should be used to the up-and-down nature of NVP by now, but as usual I let my hopes get too high! Hoping to catch the upward trend again soon.

Last night was.... truly a winner. Here's how it went, vaguely:

Nausea. Headache. Insomnia. Nausea gets worse, then calms down. Getting drowsy. Awakened by crying 5yo (episode 1). Spend half an hour with him, can't find out if it's his stomach or a bad dream. Back to bed. Up immediately with crying 5yo (episode 2). Back to bed. Back up right away with crying 5yo (episode 3). Back to bed, getting drowsy. Baby up. Get up, pull him into bed to nurse. Before he's done, up with crying 5yo (episode 4). Back to bed. Getting sleepy. Crying 5yo (episode 4). Back to bed. Getting drowsy. Crying 5yo (episode 5). Back to bed, fall asleep. Crying 5yo, rapid sequence of episode 6, episode 7, episode 8. Back to bed. Baby up and needs to eat. Fall asleep for "good" sometime after 5:00 a.m.

Needless to say, I'm kind of walking into walls today!

I had hoped that the 5yo's issues would be over with the morning, but he is still complaining of a hurting/upset tummy, so looks like he's down for at least the day. I'm hoping that it's mild for the poor fellow, and I'm also hoping that it doesn't spread. NVP plus tummy bug is a nasty combination. I'd appreciate your prayers in those areas!

Have a good day, all.....

Tuesday (12w0d)

2011-07-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

Did you see that? TWELVE WEEKS!! Hurray!!

The countdown is on.

I saw this yesterday and thought I would share:

What the Locusts Have Eaten

I don't know about you, but I find the first twenty weeks of pregnancy to be an incredibly, incredibly discouraging place to be. Thanks to the author for that article.

Yesterday had our second midwife-interview with a midwife friend of mine and her wonderful student, had a lot of fun except for the fact that I was feeling just awful. But still fun.

Now we pray.... and try to make a decision. Will it be midwife #1, midwife #2, or an unknown #3? I'm actually having a really hard time making this decision.

While we were there, the midwife sweetly offered to do heart tones for us, so we did - and there was baby, loud and clear! It surprised me, like it always does - I always have a hard time making the "pregnancy = baby" connection during the first trimester. It's always just about being sick, sick, and more sick. Nice to experience something that is "baby" rather than "sick"!!

Yesterday was pretty awful as well, though not as bad as Sunday. Hoping for a better day today.

Recently I've been thinking about the facts of the situation.... To wit, that baby is currently "in" and must someday come "out." This means..... dum, dum, da da dum...... going through childbirth again.

Oh, crumbs.

Despite the fact that I'm an avid, over-the-top birth junkie, childbirth isn't something I'm especially fond of - though it definitely does have its perks, unlike HG. Ah well, will cross that bridge when we get to it. I'd really like to take a Hypnobabies (not Hypnobirthing) or Brio class, but as always, the combined cost of class plus babysitting is a bit of a barrier. Will have to think about that down the road.

And really, don't take me too seriously on that childbirth bit. There is actually a LOT that I love about birth. Being at home, having the best midwifery care in the world, receiving care from a top-notch doula, laboring and birthing in water, not having to fight any battles (like for delayed cord clamping, or for not having baby vaccinated post-birth, or for immediate and continuous skin-to-skin, or to keep my placenta, etc. etc.), all the post-birth festivities (it's really like a party!). It's just that I'm not particularly good at labor, and it is definitely a physical challenge. But the balance is on the positive (unlike HG!!!).

Right now I'm just dreaming of being past the sickness phase. Don't know when that will be, but looking forward to it. Again, I have been blessed beyond measure this pregnancy. No HG, and doing better than I ever have. It's just that constant nausea does get one down, even if it's not as bad as the past. But I do realize my blessings.

Have a great day, all......

Monday (11w6d)

2011-07-25T12:38:00.000-07:00

Countdown is on till the end of the first trimester!

I always counted weeks 0-13 as the first trimester, but the website I'm currently following says that the second trimester begins at 13w0d, and I'm happy to oblige! Anything to move out of the first trimester, even if it's cheating.

Don't you love the looks people give you when they're wondering if you're pregnant? Baby's therapist this morning was giving me that look - "I think she's pregnant. Yes, I think so.... but I'd better not say anything in case she's just been gaining weight."

So, yesterday. Yesterday was AWFUL. Pure yuck from the moment I got up until sometime well after midnight. Pure exhaustion and nausea. It was just great. I think in hindsight that it was a really good thing that I didn't make it to church, because that could have pushed the day over the edge.

I think I must have overdone things on Saturday. I noticed last time that if I overdid things one day (when feeling better), I would pay through the nose for the next day or two. And pay I did.

Of course, that's all comparative - for this pregnancy. If I was comparing it to my first pregnancy (my only true HG pregnancy), I'd say that yesterday was a walk in the park. Trying to keep that in mind.

Second midwife interview tonight. Looking forward to it (I love this midwife, she is great), but utterly exhausted and wondering how I'll make it through. Especially with both kids with us.

Doing a lot of night wandering. I am up repeatedly at night, with (1) nausea, (2) needing to eat, (3) baby. Thank goodness for Facebook, it gives me something to surf mindlessly for a bit until I head back to bed to try to sleep again. Except for having a newborn, I haven't had sleep this broken.... ever. But that's okay, even broken sleep is better than daytime. And at least the nausea does finally calm down in the wee hours for a bit, so that is something.

You learn a lot wandering the house at night. What things look like at different times, the nocturnal habits of the cat, what people are doing on Facebook. I've also discovered, to my surprise, that I happen to be night-blind in one eye. Very curious!

And now I'm just rambling. Today has been rough so far, too, so I'm hoping that things will perk up. I am going to cancel my appointment at the naturopathic college this week, as the only time I could get was at a time when I would have to take both kids with me. Definitely, definitely not up to that one yet. So I'll just skip this week and go in next week, and hope there aren't any adverse affects felt.

Goodbye, all! How long till nap time???

p.s. No real baby kicks yet. Noted from my last diary that I felt kicks (for sure, not just ???? kicks) internally at 13w and externally at 16w, so hopefully something within the next two weeks.

Sunday (11w5d)

2011-07-24T10:42:00.000-07:00

Inching closer to 12 weeks!

Yesterday was okay-ish, with a yuckier night. Managed the first day sans famille (or rather, sans ma mere) okay, with DH's help. Tomorrow - really on my own.

So much for church this morning - the best laid plans, etc. We got everything ready, but an upset tummy for the 5yo and one of DH's monthly migraines put an end to that. Next week, to try again. I was only back at our church for two weeks before I dropped off the face of the earth again - would like to be back as soon as I can!

Tomorrow - therapy for little guy, work beginning on our irrigation system, second midwife interview. Tired just thinking about it.

Am getting very, very, very tired of doing the diet. However, the results are so positive that I don't want to give up on it. Have set September 1st for my "reintroduce carbs" date, and will see if I can hold the line that long. In the meantime, am running very low on food choices! I need a personal chef. :) (And a maid, while I'm at it.)

My mom helped me out while she was here in thinking up some new ways to work past our little guy's texture problems. *Foodment* She made a couple of batches of baby food that were hand-mashed, rather than blended, and came up with things like chopped canned peaches and other things. If I can keep up with all of that, maybe we will be able to work through texture issues eventually. *End foodment*

I have contemplated the fact that when this new baby comes along, it's really going to be like having twins. Because our little guy's development is so delayed, he is still non-mobile, still eating baby food, still not talking, etc. We are actually going to have a use for the double stroller we were given! And, in fact, it's a very likely possibility that the new baby may overtake the older one within a short amount of time. We'll have to see. It's going to be a challenge, no doubt!

Have also been checking out homeschooling materials. I have our curriculum company chosen, I just need to choose grade level and options and order - planning to start in September, hopefully I will be up to it by then. We're going to choose a very slow and easy start, nothing strenuous. I do wish it wasn't so expensive! However, I love this company and I love that everything is prepackaged for the year. I am not someone who enjoys developing her own curricula or searching garage sales and/or the internet for new ideas. That is so not me! So hopefully this will be a success.... we'll see.

Okay, all.... have a great Sabbath.... will check in soon. I need a time machine for the next two months or so!

Saturday (11w4d)

2011-07-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a better day, with a rougher night. All in all, not bad!

My dad got into town last night, and they decided that they were going to stay on till Sunday morning. Then this morning they got up and decided that they were going to leave this morning after all, so they took off a few minutes ago. A big discombobulating!

Now to see if I'm up to handling a household! Children, cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc.

The short answer is, of course, no. But hopefully things won't deteriorate too badly before I am ready to take up the reigns again.

Yesterday was fairly uneventful. Our little guy had more therapy, I was able to play Legos with our older (while lying down, hurray!), and I managed to eat a few tablespoons of *foodment* tuna salad *end foodment*. Not bad, all things considered! I am even going to try to make it to church tomorrow, which should be interesting.

Have a great weekend, all!

Friday (11w3d)

2011-07-22T13:04:00.000-07:00

My mom's last day here.... dum dum da da dum..... as of tomorrow morning, I am on my own. Not looking forward to that.

Yesterday was average with a yucky night.

On the whole, though, this week has been better than the previous. It looks like (and I'm hoping that) I'm staying true to form, which is getting worse through 10 weeks and then a long, slooooowwwwww recovery. But I'm happy not to be getting worse. And praying it stays that way.

I realized that since this is an HG blog, I should be using HG notation. Therefore....

* Foodment *

This time around, I am finding the thought of sweets nauseating. Unusual, they've always been the one thing that I could think of without gagging. Too bad.

As usual, food maintains its dual nature - incredibly attractive and incredibly nauseating at the same time. An unusual paradigm, but there you have it.

I have read several HG mums saying, for whatever reason, that they found vinegar more palatable than other things, and I am finding that to be true. Right now I am eating lettuce salads with plain oil and vinegar on them, to avoid the nauseating spices of Italian dressing, and it works really well.

Even more amazing is that this is the first pregnancy EVER in which I have been able to tolerate vegetables before 20 weeks or so. There's no doubt that I am having an super-easy time by comparison to my history, crummy as I feel.

* End Foodment *

Onto other things.

This pregnancy I am having to deal with something that I never would have imagined that I would ever have to do..... finding a new midwife. It is very difficult. And somewhat heart-breaking.

First of all, I would like you all to know that I have the most awesome midwife in the world! She is great. We fell in love with her when we met her six years ago, and have had an awesome working and personal relationship ever since. She fits perfectly for our family, and she is an absolute darling - we love her.

This pregnancy, we had a couple of issues we were going to have to talk over with her, due to the fact that the nature of her practice has changed radically since we first knew her (none of which changes the fact that she is the most awesome midwife in the world and one of my favorite people!). However, all of that became unnecessary when we discovered that she is going to be out of the country next winter for a six week period that will - in all but the most unlikely of scenarios - cover our last month of pregnancy, our birth, and at least one week of the postpartum.

So that was that.

Thus, we are back to the beginning. We interviewed one midwife this week and will interview another next week, and then we'll see if we feel a concrete leading toward either of them or if we need to keep interviewing.

It's definitely not a scenario that I ever envisioned for myself! However, I will just trust that it is all for the best. And I am very blessed to live in the Phoenix valley, where there is a plethora of wonderful licensed midwives to choose from. We'll just see what the Lord has planned for us, and take it from there. I am excited to be planning our third homebirth and getting to start meeting with a midwife, whomever that may be.

Well, I need to get back to it! Love to all!

Oh, one quick note, an addendum to that "Does eating grains cause allergies?" entry I wrote a few days ago: I found this entry on one of my new favorite nutrition blogs, "Mark's Daily Apple," and the person writing the article (it's one of the "Friday Testimonial" articles) wrote that going on the Primal Blueprint Diet (which is virtually identical to the Paleo diet and also eliminates grains, among other things) got rid of her asthma and allergies. Nice to find some confirmation, or at least someone with the same observation!

Thursday (11w2d)

2011-07-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was..... average. Okay. Exhausting, especially as our eldest took it upon himself to be rather difficult. I'm not complaining, though, because on the whole he's taken this whole thing rather well. But discipline episodes are always extra-exhausting while nauseated and not feeling up to dealing with it!

Baby had his therapy yesterday (PT) and did pretty well, barring the fact that he - as usual - cried through the whole thing. Oh, how he hates his PT - with a passion! He actually started crying the moment he saw his therapist poke her head into the room, poor thing.

But yesterday was also a big milestone for our little dude - the first time EVER that he has consented to sit in his exersaucer, and even more, he had a great time! Until now it's been "put baby in exersaucer, baby screams his head off, give up." We were very excited!

When I'm feeling better, I'll post a more thorough update on the little dude.

Last night we had our appointment that we needed to go to - though I told DH firmly that it needed to be no longer than an hour, it stretched out to almost two and a half. It was a lot of fun. However, it was utterly exhausting. I was shot after that! Afterwards, I had a funny experience - I was so tired that I actually drowsed through my own dreams during the night. Is that weird, or what? I was actually too tired to understand what people were saying or what was going on. I kept "dropping off" while I was dreaming. Very weird - never experienced something like that before.

Okay, got to go help my mom with the 5yo.... can't wait till I'm feeling better and am back to full time child training.

Wednesday (11w1d)

2011-07-20T10:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was probably one of the best days I've had in at least a month. Hurray!

But I've learned not to count on one day meaning a trend..... NVP is very much an up and down, back and forth sort of thing. But good days do give one hope!

Work has begun on our irrigation system, so our back yard is starting to resemble a construction site. Houses sure can be money pits!

Today baby is having his therapy right now (PT), and then we actually have an appointment we have to keep this evening. Looking forward to that (details later) but exhausted at the thought. Usually by night time I'm only good for staring at walls. Keeping up an intelligent conversation will be a stretch.

DH has taken our eldest out twice this week to a local park and splashpad. It's been really good for our son - he has way too much energy to be able to sit about peacefully while I'm sick - and good for the two of them, as they don't usually go to parks together often. Hoping the trend continues!

Two more days before my mom leaves.... *sigh*.

Hoping for baby kicks soon! I think they were between 10 and 12 weeks last time (20 weeks the first time).... that's my favorite part of pregnancy, so I'm looking forward to that.

Have a great day, all! I appreciate your continued prayers.

Tuesday (11w0d)

2011-07-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

Hurray for eleven weeks!!!!

Yesterday - not bad, not bad. Can't complain.

Did my trip to the naturopathic college. Imagine my joy when it was not last week's team, but my usual person who called me back! Apparently they're in the midst of rearranging student/doctor teams. She did her usual fast and efficient injection, and I had no bad reactions.

Unfortunately I couldn't get any more appointments on her shift (bummer!), but I am simply going to talk to whomever I have from now on and ask them to be extremely quick with the shot. Hopefully that will avoid repeats of last week.

Have a great night!

Monday (10w6d)

2011-07-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday - average.

My parents are leaving this weekend - bummer! But I'm so glad for the help. Incredibly thankful.

Doing okay, not much news. Back to the naturopathic college today.... dum dum da dum. Let's hope for a better outcome today than last week, especially since I'm driving myself.

Busy week this week ("busy" as in "more than nothing") - trip to the college plus two therapy appointments for the little guy. Exhausted just thinking about it.

I'll probably have more to write on tomorrow, but for now it's NAP TIME!

Sunday (10w5d)

2011-07-17T10:35:00.000-07:00

So excited to see the end of the 10th week approaching!

Yesterday was in between - neither good nor horrible. Somewhere in the middle.

Last night, however, was great. I was so-so-so tired that I slept through five straight hours of the night! Impressive, no? Only got up.... three times for the whole night! Once for baby, twice to eat/meds. Not bad, not bad at all. I'll take it!

Am hoping to start seeing signs of improvement soon. Nothing yet, but..... soon?

Forgot to mention that our eldest already used his allowance to buy something - a weird blow-up worm thing that he calls "Spiney." However, he has his eye on better things! He now wants to buy some sort of bulldozer toy, and after explaining to him about five hundred times the concept of saving up his money (instead of his idea of us just giving him more of it right away!), he is now determined to save up for it. Will it last? Don't know. We'll see!

Well, I have the feeling that there was more I wanted to mention, but I can't remember any of it. Ah well, my brain will return sometime. Not sure when, since it's been missing since the conception of the first baby, but sometime.

Happy Sabbath!

p.s. Tomorrow is my vitamin shot.... with the same person as last week (no choice). Any opinions as to whether to keep the appointment or cancel? I'm thinking of keeping it and just asking her to make it snappy. If I skip it, it will be 2 1/2 weeks in between appointments, which worries me a little.

***

p.p.s. And now I remember what yesterday was mainly about! Sheesh, my memory.

Yesterday I was extremely saddened to learn of the death of a high school teacher of mine, a really neat guy with two young kids who fought a losing fight against a really nasty type of cancer for almost four years.

I can't remember that this fellow was a really super-great teacher, per se - the one class I took from him was filled to the brim with fun hands-on activities, but relatively little learning - but he had something more important than teaching skills, that is, the ability to encourage, love, motivate, and mentor - everyone from the "good kids" to the "just-this-side-of-trouble" kids. One friend of mine, who had a rough time in the teenage years, described him as "one of the only positive influences in my life." He had an amazing capacity to love kids, and in return was probably one of the most well-loved teachers ever. His memorial fan page, started yesterday, is already at thirteen hundred fans and growing hourly.

Goes to show how far-reaching the influence of a teacher - especially a good one - can be! (This chap was eventually moved to administrative duties, where he was better placed and did an awesome job.)

Do you know that almost everyone I know who has died over the past X years has died of cancer? This is at least the third young guy I know of in the past five years who has died of cancer, leaving behind a young family. So tragic.

Anyway, it was a time to grieve for a death and celebrate the amazingly positive influence of a well-invested life. The interesting duality that always accompanies a death, and a good reminder to the living, as always.

Signing off again.....

Grains and Allergies?

2011-07-16T16:49:00.000-07:00

Need to blog to distract myself from this nausea! Ack!!! Ack!!!

Okay, so this is something I've been meaning to mention for a while.

I never experienced allergy problems growing up or as a twenty-something. Ever. I could wade into billowing clouds of pollen and never feel any ill effect. Wonderful!

But that all changed last Spring (2010). I got what I thought was a cold but which had no typical cold progression.... just the stuffy/congested nose bit. It took me a while, but I finally figured out what it was - allergies at last. It wasn't too serious, and I recognized it when it came back for a week the following Autumn.

And then, on New Year's Day of this year (2011), I was hit by something approximating a steam engine - ALLERGIES. Whoa, Nellie! I finally understood what people were complaining about - they're not kidding when they say that allergies stink! I had them for about a month, and going outside for any length of time was enough to knock me flat. It was ugly.

So I started researching allergy remedies. One of the first and most common things that came up was local honey - so I bought some of that and tried it. Delicious, but didn't help at all. I also saw recommendations for using a neti-pot, which I never got the guts to buy and/or try.

One thing I did see on Facebook was a friend who said that her brother had cured his allergies by going on the Paleo Diet. I've written about the Paleo Diet on this blog before, but to review, the Paleo Diet is a very simple diet that includes fruit, vegetables, meat, and nuts, and gets rid of grains, sugar, dairy, and legumes. I'm not doing the Paleo Diet right now, but the Very Low Carb diet that I'm doing as NVP-management is quite similar - it doesn't eliminate all dairy (it keeps cheese and cream), but it eliminates sugar, legumes, and grains. Looking between the two for commonalities, the factor that stands out is grains.

I have now been on the VLC diet for several months, including the Spring pollen season here in Phoenix (there is nothing more gorgeous than a blooming Palo Verde tree!), and thus far..... no signs of any allergies. Not a bit. I sailed through all of the blossoming trees and blooming flowers with no problems.

Is there any link between grains and allergies?

I have no idea. And it could be that next year's pollen season will again hit me like a brick wall (I sure hope not). But I thought I'd report in on it just to write out my experience.

Okay, enough of that. Back to mooching! I sure am ready for this nausea to leave!!!!!!

Saturday (10w4d)

2011-07-16T10:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was, by comparison, one of the best days I've had in a while. Even the evening! I ended up staying up later than usual with DH watching "The Music Man" - which I've never seen, and is excellent! Of course I paid for that in that the nausea started hitting back before I could fall asleep properly, but all in all, it was a good day.

Night was rough, but nights are just rough right now. Nausea, having to get up to take meds, getting up to eat at least twice, getting up to feed the baby, then sleeping at the foot of the bed so that I don't have to continuously nurse all night.... let's just say that nights are more a continuation of the adventure than a respite. But it is SO nice when my nausea does finally calm down in the late early morning so that I can get a couple hours of feeling okay before I have to get up! (Even if I'm sleeping through it, it's nice.)

I've been meaning to post the costs of the vitamin shots at the naturopathic college so that people could have that info. When you go to the clinic, you can see a doctor (for a higher cost) or a student with a supervising doctor present (for a lower cost). I, of course, chose the latter. For the initial visit, with the shot, the cost was $99. For follow-up visits, with the shot, the cost is $25. Not cheap, but not horrible. They very kindly offered to send me home with a month's worth of shots at a time, provided I could get someone to do it for me, which would save me all but a monthly trip and cut office visit costs completely (the shot alone costs $11 each). However, I do not fancy being the pincushion for my husband's learning efforts at giving IM injections, especially as he is nearly as squeamish as I am around needles, LOL! So I am sticking with the higher cost and letting the professionals do the work. (Additionally, I enjoy the trip. It's nice to be able to tune out and just drive without any little kids talking or needing things!!) So that's that.

Today we had a guy come to fix our irrigation pipe, and found out that instead of $150 or so, the damage is much more extensive and is going to cost $1000+. Ahhh, home repairs!!

Last week we finally carried through our plan of starting our 5yo on his first allowance. We are giving $1.50 per week, which the internet says is low and which my mother says is absurdly high. We'll see. After tithe, it is cut down to $1.35. We're not enforcing saving at the moment - I haven't been able to decide if the "enforce saving" camp or "let them save when they want something" camp is better. Right now we're going to let him use it to buy discretionary things (toys, etc.) and also to replace any toy that he loses or breaks. My plan is to increase his buying jurisdiction as he gets older, so that by the time he's twelve or so he will be responsible for buying things like clothes, etc. If anyone has any awesome resources on allowances to pass on, feel free to let me know. There are SO many violently disagreeing opinions out there!

I am also planning on (eventually, when I'm feeling better, and probably more for when he's older) having extra jobs available to earn extra money (not routine chores, no payment for that, but special extra jobs). I'm also planning on using it as a source of discipline, a la Kevin Leman - i.e. "Oh, since you didn't take out the trash, I had to pay your brother to do it out of your allowance." Lots of fun stuff in an allowance!! :)

Okay, back to life. I would like to say that I'm expecting today to be good since yesterday was, but probably the reverse is true. There, you see - I've got this NVP bait-and-switch thing down! Mwa ha ha ha!

Have a good weekend, all.....

Friday (10w3d)

2011-07-15T13:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday - day time was okay, by comparison, night time was kind of scary-bad. Hoping for a better night tonight.

Not much else to report on, either than that I am so thankful that my mom is here. I honestly do not know what I'll do when she goes home next week.

Oh, and when I went to refill my Zofran yesterday, found out that our doc had only authorized the first prescription - none of the refills had been authorized. So today we started the authorization process all over again with the hopes that this will be it for this pregnancy.

Praying for time to pass quickly... would appreciate your continued prayers!!!

Thursday (10w2d)

2011-07-14T13:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was pretty yucky, but the evening was better than normal.

I had hoped my energy levels would start to pick up around now, but my level of exhaustion seems to be rising. I would gladly lie down in a dark room all day right now, without the least inclination toward either boredom or getting up.

This is how my days go right now: My nausea finally calms down sometime in early morning (2-4 a.m.). I wake up feeling fine. Then I get up and have 5-60 minutes of okay-ness before the pukeyness begins, and then feel crummy for the rest of the day, to differing levels. If I leave off eating for more than 60 minutes, I'm in trouble.

Weight levels: Oddly enough, I gained some weight at the very beginning of this pregnancy. No idea why. Have lost most of it but am still a pound or two over baseline.

Okay.... back to it.... only 15 minutes till Zofran and nap time!!

Article: 5 Dangerous Myths

2011-07-13T19:26:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Juliana for forwarding this!

5 Dangerous Myths About Nutrition for Fertility and Pregnancy

Very good stuff, and fascinating! I encourage everyone to check it out.

Tucked in there is a quote regarding my "nutritional mentor," Dr. Michael Fox, from whom I received all of the information regarding the very-low-carb diet. Here is a quote, put in context:

"Why is fat so important for fertility and pregnancy?

"Saturated fat is especially beneficial for fertility. A study at Harvard found that women who ate two or more servings of low-fat or non-fat dairy per day, like skim milk or yogurt, had 85% higher risk of infertility than those that ate full-fat dairy products.

"Another study found that women who eat less saturated fat have a smaller chance of becoming pregnant. More specifically, the authors found that women with oligomenorrhea, a condition of light or infrequent menstruation associated with infertility, consume significantly less saturated fat and significantly more polyunsaturated fat than women with normal menstruation and fertility.

"Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the #1 cause of infertility in women in the U.S.. PCOS is characterized by insulin resistance and testosterone dominance, a hormone imbalance that is often caused or made worse by a low-fat, high-carbohydrate diet. Why? Because high-carb diets can promote insulin resistance, which in turn converts estrogen into testosterone.

"Dr. Michael Fox, a reproductive endocrinologist in Florida, has had great success treating women with PCOS with a high-fat, low-carbohydrate diet. Before he switched to this approach, almost all of his patients needed drugs or IVF, or both, to become pregnant. Since he started using a low-carb diet with these patients, fewer have needed drugs and very few have needed IVF."

Neat to see! I can give my opinion at this point that the very-low-carb diet, while not preventing all NVP, has made a tremendous difference in how I feel. Good to see word getting out (even though it's about a different condition).

Wednesday (10w1d)

2011-07-13T09:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an icky and exhausted day.

I've noticed that most of the time, the day after my vitamin shot is a yucky day. Overdoing it? Reaction?

One quick note that I forgot yesterday - my diet is messing with my taste buds!

On Monday I took a (forbidden) bite of plain yogurt - and immediately freaked out because I thought I'd mistakenly gotten hold of the sweetened stuff - it tasted so sweet! But nope, just regular yogurt - I guess having a zilcho-carbs diet is making anything with carbs taste sweet! Kind of neat.

Have a good day, all!

Tuesday (10w0d)

2011-07-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

Ten weeks - HURRAY!

Yesterday - mmphthphth. Yup, that about sums it up.

Baby's tummy troubles continued into the morning, so we ended up canceling his therapy appointment. Good thing. He stayed either cranky or comatose for most of the day, improving at the end.

In the afternoon, went over for the vitamin shot to the naturopathic college. From that experience, I can now report that there is a vast range among caregivers in injection skills. Youch.

So the girl I normally see - she is fast, skilled, and the shot occasions only a minimum discomfort. No after-effects but soreness, and I walk out and go home.

Yesterday... no.

The girl who did it was very sweet, but I think that she must have been new. She took 3-4 times longer doing the shot, and it hurt a LOT. Yowzer.

When it was finally over, I was really relieved. And then - oh, shoot. I started feeling all those yucky pre-fainting symptoms. Nausea, dizziness, light-headedness, ringing ears, general "oh crud, I'm in for it now", etc. I immediately told them that I needed to sit down, which I did, and they kindly stayed with me. However, it just got worse from there, and I eventually asked to be shown to a restroom before I threw up.

Once there, I immediately fell face-first onto the floor and stayed there (thankfully floor was clean, but I wouldn't have cared if it wasn't) for about ten minutes. Thank goodness for cold bathroom floors. Didn't end up throwing up, which was nice. Then I was able to leave - thankfully DH had driven me over, so I didn't have to drive. After that, I was absolutely shot for the day.

Not sure why I had the reaction. I'm guessing that it was just the length of the shot - either my mind or my body couldn't handle it. I have had that reaction only once before, when I went in for a rather lengthy blood draw. It stinks.

And yesterday was on the crummy side anyway!

Moving on.

Did some more reading of my last pregnancy journal yesterday. Noted a couple of things.

My last journal was littered with "I can't believe how much better I'm doing than last time!" statements - the difference between an unmedicated HG pregnancy and a medicated HG-in-remission pregnancy. What is scary is how much better I am doing this time than last time - and I still feel horrid!! But in comparison, I'm doing way better than last time. Here are a few things:

- Right now, praise God, I'm not throwing up. Last time I was throwing up a minimum of once a day into the late teen weeks.

- Right now I am able to eat vegetables, handle most foods, and even do some simple food prep (like peeling fruit). At this time last time, it was a no to all of the above.

- Overall, I am just a lot more stable, functional, and okay than I was last time. It's kind of scary to think about, especially as whiny as I feel right now.

This has made me question the wisdom of reintroducing carbs after the first trimester. If the diet really is helping, I don't want to regress (right now I'm doing better than I was last time at 13 weeks). If I have the willpower, I'm thinking I should push it out a couple weeks further. We'll see.

Okay, off for nap time! Feeling pretty crummy, so am looking forward to a break.

Monday (9w6d)

2011-07-11T09:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was icky, but not as bad as Saturday, thank goodness.

Last night was a killer! DH was up and down all night with one of his headaches. Baby was fussy all night with an upset stomach. I was up and down all night with nausea, and then with a terrific thunderstorm that kept me awake (so thankful it didn't wake the kids). It was like a pantomime - who is going to pop out of which trap door next? Very tired.

A note: My nose is behaving itself more this pregnancy. Smells are unpleasant and to be avoided whenever possible, but they are not the source of absolute torture (you all know what I mean!) that they usually are. In fact, two weeks ago there was something yucky in the fridge, and DH discovered it before I did! (Of course, I don't actually breathe when opening the fridge, but usually that doesn't matter! LOL)

Okay, back to it! An unfortunately busy day ahead - therapy for our little dude and then vitamin shot at the naturopathic college.

Love to all!

Severe NVP Article

2011-07-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

From "The Modest Mom," an article she wrote after coming out of severe NVP:

"How to Physically Survive Morning Sickness"

I love-love-love her closing words:

"And please remember that every woman is so incredibly different. What triggers my morning sickness may not trigger yours. Likewise, what helps me through may not help you. I've also learned that while I love using herbs and believe strongly in the help they can bring, sometimes medicine is in order. Please don't judge a woman if she has to go on medicine. I'm sure nobody really wants to go on medicine while pregnant, but hard choices must be made and in my case I don't regret going on the medicine one bit. Honestly my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. My children went through a lot while I was so sick, and emotionally it was terribly difficult on our whole family. I'm still trying to play catch up on my house from when I was down. Until you have gone through a severe form of morning sickness I just don't think most woman can understand what it is really like. I *thought* I knew all about morning sickness until this pregnancy. God knows I need to be humbled."

So true!!!

Sunday 9w5d

2011-07-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was pure yuck. Yuck yuck yuck.

So much for getting back to church today.

A few notes:

- Having a lot of issues with dizziness/shakiness/faintness.

- Noted from my last pregnancy diary that the amazingly-fast "tummy pop" occurred at 11 weeks last time - it was at 8 weeks this time. Quite a jump!

- I'm afraid my mum cut up a bit rough when I told her yesterday, in answer to her query, that we are not announcing baby names in advance - which is odd, since that's what we did last time. It's regrettable, but we have learned our lesson! When we announced our first-born's name in advance, it unleashed a storm of criticism from both sides of the family - it was awful! With our second-born, we didn't announce until we were able to say "Baby is here and his name is such-and-such." Such an improvement! It was quite obvious that no one liked our name any better the second time around, but at least no one told us about it (much). People tend to criticize name plans more than actual names, thank goodness.

As a matter of fact, it wouldn't matter if we did spill names, because we're already changing them! LOL At least our boy name - it's currently in a state of transition.

- Finding hunger to be a nuisance - it's like my body can't get enough food. Probably the combo of pregnancy and breastfeeding. Plus the fact that I'm only eating a few bites of food at a time. But as eating is quite unpleasant, it's a real nuisance. Last night I had to get up out of bed to eat three separate times. Yuck.

Okay, back to life.... I am so praying that I don't have many days as bad as yesterday. Happy Sunday, all!

Saturday 9w4d

2011-07-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday - ick.

Must admit that things have been worse since I've been eating the Panda Express, even though it's relatively low carb. However, after three days of it, I've had about as much as I can stand, so maybe it's back to regular no-carb choices. *Sigh*.

My mom is in town now, which is a big help. Thank goodness.

Can I say.... without being too too whiny.... that I am ready for this to be over? I'm so ready to start feeling better. I sure hope things turn around soon.

Love to all.

Comparisons

2011-07-08T18:37:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I gathered up my courage and went back to my blog archives to read some entries from my last pregnancy in order to compare experiences. (I don't know about the rest of you, but reading accounts from past pregnancies is like experiencing war-time flashbacks. Bad.)

There is no doubt that as of this moment, I am having my easiest pregnancy (barring our first, which was not a viable pregnancy). Compared to this time in the pregnancy last time around, I am much more stable, much more functional, much less sick.

Why? Well, there's the diet I'm doing, there are the idiosyncrasies of individual pregnancies, could be a gender change of baby, and could be the fact that I think I'm taking more Diclectin than last time. Or a combination of any of the above.

My reading confirmed my vague memory that my NVP peaked at around 10 weeks before plateauing and then starting to incrementally improve (I wish it would clear up quickly, but it never has.... always an inch-by-inch process). I noted in an entry last time at 12 weeks that I could definitely see that I was on the upswing. That's good news, and I hope it stays this way for this pregnancy.

My plan, if I can hold on another 3 1/2 weeks, is to stay on the VLC diet through the end of the first trimester. Can I hold out? Not sure. It's worth it not to be throwing up, but it is extremely difficult with only a handful of food choices.

Once I hit the magical 13 weeks, my first non-low-carb meal is going to be a vegetarian burrito, and we'll see where it goes from there! Either it will be fine, or it will be a crash-and-burn (or somewhere in between). But either way, I should be stable enough to handle it without catastrophe. I will report in then. Let's see, by the calendar that will be August 2nd, so mark your calendars! I can't wait.

That's if I last until then.

One of my goals with this pregnancy is to gain less weight than I did last time..... but I suspect that I am going to be carb-binging once the restrictions are gone. I have a long list of things I want to eat, and they're mostly simple carbs! (Lemon bars, bagels, waffles, frosties, apple pie, fruit cobber, etc.) I'll have to keep an eye on that!

One difference between my first and second times through NVP was the amount of weight gained. With my first, I lost so much weight initially that I only gained 25 net pounds. With my next, having the HG under control, I (more than) doubled that. And frankly, carrying that much extra weight made for a much harder end-of-pregnancy, not to mention leaving behind an extra 20 pounds that was impossible to lose (only lost it when I did the first bit of the very-low-carb diet). So I'd really prefer to keep it more reasonable this time....though, as I say, it may be harder than it looks.

Okay, off to do something! I'm really blogging to keep my mind off of myself, because right now I feel absolutely horrid. So "doing something" will probably translate to "lying on the bed staring at the wall." Oh, well.

Love to all!

Friday (9w3d)

2011-07-08T09:32:00.000-07:00

Greetings, all!

Have you ever noticed that a good day, after getting one's hopes up, is almost sure to be followed by a not-so-good day? It's so predictable that it's scary!

So yesterday was not-so-awesome, but whatever. Not in HG, will live.

I am finding, once again, that I do not enjoy breastfeeding while pregnant. Don't know why, but the feeling changes, and it becomes something that I would rather avoid. During our last pregnancy, I ended up weaning our son (when he was about 33 mos.) about 3-4 months into the pregnancy. That worked just fine. I wouldn't have weaned so soon had I not been pregnant, but it worked out fine and the timing was fine. This time, I am quite sure that our little chap (age 22 mos.) is not in the least ready to be weaned, so I am doing my best to tough it out. My intention, if I make it through, is to tandem nurse, which will be a new experience for me. However, there are no guarantees - nursing through pregnancy is not easy!

One part of pregnancy nursing that I find most difficult is night nursing, which we're still doing for the next month or two while our little guy co-sleeps (something that will be ending as soon as I feel up to some sleep training). This is especially so since he likes to stay attached and nurse on and off most of the night! (That, and it wakes me up so I can experience night-time nausea.) Lately I've been pulling him into bed, letting him nurse, and then moving myself down to the foot of the bed so that I can go back to sleep without nursing continually. Works pretty well. As I said, it's a firmly temporary arrangement that will be ending soon - hopefully by early September. We ended our eldest's co-sleeping arrangement when he was 11 mos. old, so by the time the next baby came along, I had been able to sleep through the night for over two years. This time, it's going to be only a couple of months, but I want to grab for it, because I am tired.

DH and I have moved into our usual voting camps for baby's gender - I want a boy, DH wants a girl (though both of us are, naturally, fine with either gender). DH has voted for girls from the beginning, and he's really hoping that this one will fall into the female persuasion. :)

I, on the other hand, love boys and would prefer an all-boy family. Why? Well, several reasons. #1 - Boys are simpler with a lot less "emotionalism" - I love that. #2 - We have the clothes! I am not in any way a shopper by nature, so I would much prefer to use our already collected boy clothes. Heck, I probably will do that even if it is a girl. :) #3 - I have a deep, deep dread of the female teenage years. Yikes!!! I know that on occasion there can be peaceful mother-daughter relations during that time, but I have seen enough to make me cower in fear. I know that my mother and I put each other through the wringer well enough, and I didn't even do any serious rebelling! Oh, my goodness.

Anyhow, that's mostly tongue-in-cheek. We'll both be fine with either gender, and it will be fun to find out at the birth. Right now I'm thinking that we will not be doing a diagnostic ultrasound (I don't have the same feeling that we need to with this baby as I did with our last), so I won't have to worry about the tech blowing it and revealing baby's gender (something that made me a nervous wreck at our last ultrasound). I love the surprise!!

My mom is coming into town tonight, so my checking in may be kind of sketchy for the next week or two. Don't worry if you don't hear from me! But I'll do my best to check in when I can.

Happy weekending, all!

Thursday (9w2d)

2011-07-07T09:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was eh, but not bad by comparison.

I find myself of two minds lately:

The first mind is the complaining, whining mind. As in, "This is taking forever! I feel awful! Waaahhhh!!"

The second mind is the one that slaps the first mind across the face with the aforementioned wet haddock and says, "Stop complaining, you wimp! You're fine! You're stable! You're okay! You're not in HG! Dang it, you're living the dream!!!!"

I go back and forth. On the one hand, I do feel yuck, and it does feel like time has stopped. On the other hand, I am okay and stable, and I am very grateful for that. Very.

So if any truly-in-HG mamas out there would like to slap me for complaining, don't worry - I've got you covered. :)

Other than that, life proceeds slowly but well. I do my best to shut my eyes to all of the ways my life crumbles in around me during NVP - child discipline, TV limits, clean house, family activities, etc. There will be time to rebuild, hopefully soon. As a matter of fact, I can't drudge up a bit of enthusiasm for any of my usual pursuits - cooking, cleaning, child training, hobbies, anything - but I trust that that also will return in time.

Have a good day, all!

Wednesday (9w1d)

2011-07-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

Moving along.

Yesterday - eh. It was.

Back to the college for weekly vitamin shot, which went well.

DH telecommuted yesterday, so we took the time to sit down and watch the Casey Anthony verdict. In thinking about it, I don't think I've actually watched a live verdict since the OJ Simpson case, which was over 15 years ago. (And I remember that one quite vividly.... Our P.E. teacher called us off the field and took us into the weight room to watch it. What a trial.) Anyhow, the two definitely had a similar feeling, though I have not followed this trial closely enough to have concrete views on whether or not this was a true miscarriage of justice. It will be interesting to see where Ms. Anthony takes her life from here. Will she be careful not to stick her neck out again, or will she blow it again - like OJ did, and like the Aruba suspect did? It will be interesting to see.

Yesterday I also forced myself into the kitchen to process some baby food carrots that I'd cooked a few days ago. Have you ever tried to process baby food while severely nauseated? Here's my advice: Don't do it. I might as well have saved myself the trouble and thrown them in the trash:

Batch 1 - Only after I started to see wee bits of white plastic floating about in the carrots did I remember where I'd stored that extra plastic gasket. In the blender. Bad idea. Exit batch 1.

Batch 2 - Made it through without incident.

Batch 3 - In desperation to get through, got wooden spoon too close to the blades. Exit batch 3 and my favorite wooden spoon.

However, even after throwing out two of three batches, I did get almost four trays of cubes, which is something.

Good news - my mom is coming out on Friday for a week or two. Thank goodness!

I remember telling someone last time that I had noticed that the NVP got worse until 10 weeks, and the plateaued and then finally started getting better. Am hoping for the same this time, as week 10 is just around the corner.

Yesterday I tried more Panda Express - low carb this time - vegetables and their two lowest-carb entrees (8g and 9g, respectively, and I left the sauce off of one of them). It was delicious and I haven't felt any ill effects, which means..... I'll probably be sending DH for more tonight!!! :)

Poor guy. He spends most of his leisure time running errands. But thankfully he likes running errands, and it does give him and DS something to do together, which is good.

After this is over, I'm going to have the usual battles to re-fight, including working our son out of a picky eating rut (the result of fast food overindulgence), restarting things like chore cards, etc. Well, that will be for another day.

Have a good day, all!

Tuesday (9w0d)

2011-07-05T10:44:00.000-07:00

Nine weeks!

Yesterday - ick.

Came to a depressing realization yesterday. I wondered why I'd been getting "more energy" and yet was feeling crummy - dare I say, crummier. Then my own idiocy slapped me in the face like a wet haddock. I'm not getting "more energy" - it's just the drowsiness effects of the Unisom wearing off! Definitely a "DUH" moment, and a disappointing one. So much for a fast recovery.

Good part of yesterday was watching the Capitol Fourth show - it was excellent. Usually we switch between the different shows in a vain attempt to avoid having to listen to yowling pop stars, but this year there was some really excellent music in there - Broadway songs, some awesome military bands, and our favorite - some beyond-brilliant bluegrass. Good stuff. We watched it as a family, which was a fun first, while our 5yo danced madly around the room playing a "guitar" to the music.

Oh, a bit of fun trivia - my sister-in-law got to meet Weird Al! It was on a professional basis rather than a fan basis, so she got to talk to him for a couple of hours. She thought he was an awesome guy! Pretty neat.

Hope you all have had a good fourth!

Monday (8w6d)

2011-07-04T09:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was another "eh" day, with a rather yucky night - lots of night nausea, and a super-cranky baby who made good and sure that I was awake to savor every minute of it.

I hadn't realized how much nausea goes on at night that I usually sleep through. I knew that the nausea calmed down eventually at night, but that doesn't actually happen till rather late in the night - like 3a. and later. With a co-sleeping baby, I am getting to experience a lot more of it. One of my set-in-stone tasks for this pregnancy is getting baby to sleep through the night (no way can I get up to nurse two), but I am not up to that task right now, so the adventures continue.

Looking forward to bidding farewell (and good riddance) to week eight!

As time passes, I have come to the pleasant realization that there is (and will be) more to this pregnancy than just nausea, fear, panic, etc. There's the fun stuff too! Visits with our midwife (the most wonderful thing in the world).... feeling baby move..... getting to do placenta medicine again (one of my passions)..... planning another homebirth..... and writing birth plans!! I have a special fondness for writing birth plans. Due to birthing at home and having a superb birth team, I have never actually needed any of the birth plans that I've written, but I write them anyway because I enjoy it so much. A couple of days ago I wrote out preliminary birth plans for this birth! One for home and one for hospital transport. I had a ton of fun! I'll post them later in their more finished form.

It's just nice to realize that pregnancy is more than HG and HG-fear. At the beginning, I'm afraid, pregnancy just means fear-fear-fear-fear-FEAR. Still there, but not as badly. I am, though, so looking forward to seeing the other side of the first trimester mark.

Okay, everyone! Have a great Independence Day! We will be doing (as we have done with all of this month's birthdays and holidays) absolutely nothing. Fun!!! :)

Sunday (8w5d)

2011-07-03T10:02:00.000-07:00

Moving through week eight!

Yesterday was definitely an "eh" sort of day. Not horrible, not great.

Confession: I cheated a wee bit on the diet, by eating a couple of bites of Panda Express Orange Chicken. My favorite! But definitely a dish under the "would you like some chicken with that sugar sauce?" category - not low carb at all! Coincidentally or not, last night was unusually pukey, and this morning has continued that trend. Back to the diet! Boredom is better than nausea.

One plus side: I am entirely missing out on Phoenix's latest 118-degree heat wave, being that I am only stepping outside of the house about once a week. Hurray!!! Being that I utterly abhor both heat and sunlight, staying indoors with the curtains drawn and air conditioning on is definitely my way to spend the summer. (I think I might be living in slightly the wrong climate - you think?)

I almost made church this morning but couldn't swing it in the end - going to try again next week.

Happy Sunday, all!!!

Saturday (8w4d)

2011-07-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

Hi, guys!

Very tired today - insomnia kept me up till 2:30p. Very bad!

Yesterday was odd. I decide to try a new food - cottage cheese. (I am in definite need of new foods, as my current diet in toto consists of peanuts, chicken, turkey lunchmeat, and string cheese.) It's not on the very-low-carb list, but it is low-carb/high-protein, so I decided to give it a try.

Directly after eating it, (1) I felt awful, (2) I had an actually upset stomach (not just nausea), and (3) I fell into some weird sort of catatonic stupor/nap on the couch (thankfully DH was working from home). I don't know which of those was cause-and-effect and which was coincidence, but it doesn't matter because I'm not going to try again - cottage cheese has been officially asked to leave the party. Too bad.

Definitely don't quote me.... But I do feel like we might be starting to turn a corner for the better rather than the worse. I have slightly more energy, I'm not having night chills much anymore.... I'm just hoping that this is an upward trend. I hope so, and I pray that it is so!!

By the way, I will sometime get around to writing out the story of the first week (week 4) of this pregnancy. It just won't be any time soon, because it is too frightening to think about while I'm still in HG danger-land. Look for it in a few months.

Happy weekend, all!

Friday (8w3d)

2011-07-01T08:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was shaky, but infinitely better than Wednesday, praise the Lord. I was militant about eating every 30 minutes and staying faithful on my meds - maybe that helped.

Reasons why Wednesday may have been so horrible: (1) it was just a bad day, (2) did I skip meds somewhere?, (3) I think I was drinking a lot and maybe forgot to eat as often as I should have, (4) I took a bite of something that made my whole being revolt (chicken from Whole Foods), had to spit it out immediately - maybe my body just took the cue from there.

Quote of the day, from Becky: "Remember, it does get better, and then it goes away." Thank goodness for that! Thank you, Becky!

I notice that I am having a hard time keeping hydrated, because anything more than a sip or two of liquid makes me sick. I'm trying to be faithful to constant small sips of water, but it's hard - (1) I forget, and (2) when I want water, I want to drink a TON of it! Bad idea, bad idea.

Something that I have really noticed helping - taking a bath. Seriously! For some reason, I feel infinitely better in the bath. For that reason I have started taking one- to two-hour long baths in the evenings. When I mentioned my observation to DH, he said "Well, don't you know you're supposed to take a bath to feel better when you have stomach flu?" Actually, no - that bit of folk medicine had completely passed me by! But it must be on the same principle. Whatever that principle is, I'm definitely sticking with it.

Last night I actually (wait for it!).... mopped the floor. Spontaneously. First time in over a month. Considering that I was less than thorough and that I didn't vacuum first, the results were definitely mixed. But it was oddly therapeutic.

Anyway, looking forward to making it through this. I'm tired of being a bad mommy. As in, "No, mommy can't do such-and-such. Mommy is not feeling well enough." Ad infinitum.

Have a great day, everyone! I would appreciate continued prayers. Now off to mooch.

Thursday (8w2d)

2011-06-30T09:31:00.000-07:00

Well, folks - I got what I deserved for yesterday's optimism. In other words......

Yesterday was YUCK. Mega-yuck.

As in, "Kids, I'll be in the bedroom. Don't come get me unless someone is dead or dying, and even then I'm not sure there's anything I can do about it."

I am SO praying for a better day today. Prayer appreciated!