In the long-lost days of my childhood, I put massive effort into New Year's resolutions. I'd take several hours to write out a long list that usually included a plethora of self-improvement chores - such as long daily readings of the Bible, Shakespeare, classics, and French/German/Shorthand lessons, besides other exercises in self-discipline. I'd write them out in complete self-satisfaction, file them neatly, and then forget them completely - perhaps remembering them briefly a week or so later - before my mind consigned them to utter oblivion (until I found them randomly years later and realized that no resolution had been kept longer than 24 hours... usually 12 at most).
So now? Nope. No New Year's resolutions. I've learned not to waste my time.
But I do pick things to work on (when I want to, not at New Year's) when I see that they are needed. So, in lieu of New Year's resolutions, I will write out what I'm working on in my life right now (a partial repeat from an entry a few weeks ago).
So here goes... here's what I'm working on in my life right now:
(1) Rebuilding the following areas of my life: physical (pregnancy weight, anyone?), marital, spiritual
(2) Decluttering - an ever-present chore
(3) Balancing having a clean house and spending time with kiddos (NOT easy!)
(4) Parenting - learning the skills that just aren't there by nature
(5) Learning to be a CROCK POT MASTER!!!
(6) Trying to rebuild my life and my heart with our church move (more on that later)
(7) Working on finding a preschool and an elementary school for our kiddos - and more importantly, figuring out how on earth to pay for them
(8) Trying something new - I am going to try out our local Arizona Student Midwives group! I am SO excited!!!!!
And so... Happy New Year's, everyone! Here's hoping 2010 holds great things for all of us.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Medical Cannabis for Hyperemesis Gravidarum?
This is not a new article (2004, I think), but I just saw it when a birth buddy posted it on Facebook. Interesting stuff! I haven't really been involved in the medical marijuana debate, so I don't feel justified in posting an opinion (morally, politically, medically). Here is the original article:
Medical Marijuana: A Surprising Solution to Severe Morning Sickness
Does anyone out there know anything more, or have any opinions to share?
I took a quick look around the web to see what the status of medical marijuana in the U.S. was (try this site) and found that it is legal in thirteen states, not including my own (which is in some odd state of legal limbo).
Anyhow, this is a hyperemesis blog.... so I post all information I find, however wacky!
Medical Marijuana: A Surprising Solution to Severe Morning Sickness
Does anyone out there know anything more, or have any opinions to share?
I took a quick look around the web to see what the status of medical marijuana in the U.S. was (try this site) and found that it is legal in thirteen states, not including my own (which is in some odd state of legal limbo).
Anyhow, this is a hyperemesis blog.... so I post all information I find, however wacky!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Random Musings of a Crazy Woman
On to an entry that has nothing to do with pregnancy, birth, babies, or hyperemesis! Wow!
Though, speaking of HG, the smell of our dish soap lately has been BOTHERING me! "Bothering" as in "bringing back strong memories of morning sickness whenever I smell it" - I know you all know the feeling! We haven't switched brands, so I'm not sure why it's suddenly bringing back these memories, but it's a good reminder to me.
Enough said. Moving on....
Well, we won't have any "puking" today, but the spirit does move me to utter a few yowls, i.e. "whining." Lots of whining. So I'll fulfill at least half of my blog's purpose!
Anyhow, in an entry a few weeks back, I mentioned a decision that my husband was making that I was NOT happy about. That decision has been made..... and it went the way I thought it was going to go.... and that was not the way I wanted it to go. Subsequently, I am not happy! Hence the whining (prepare yourself). Whine, whine, whine.....
The decision (prepare yourself for an anticlimax) was simply this: My husband has decided that it is time for our family to seek a new church home. The fact that I am reacting to this decision with as much anger and grief as if my best friend had died will perhaps be incomprehensible to anyone who does not belong to a small, intimate church body in which the people are loved and cherished as much as the most beloved family.... but that is how my church has been to me, and I have been going through tremendous grief at this decision.
Not to mention several (okay, many) knock-down-drag-out fights with said hubby (no... this is not an admission of superbly mature Christian behavior) over the issue. The decision is recent, but the issue has been up for debate for some time... so it's been quite a stressful fall and winter in our family (try throwing that into the whole postpartum mix for a fun time).
(For any church members reading, no, this is not an issue with any person, ministry, or program... just a "right fit" kind of issue. As a matter of fact, the only church member who regularly reads this blog has already had to listen to my months-on-end kvetching (you know who you are - thank you!!!!), so it's not really an issue, but I wanted to clear that up.)
So it's been stressful! Tension between DH and myself (not fun), tension of leaving the people I love terribly beyond measure, and tension of knowing we'll have to deal with hurt feelings and negative reactions from the same (we're all human, and it's natural to be hurt/angry when people leave). Only a few people know so far, so this coming week I have the cheerful chore ahead of me of letting other friends know that we are leaving.
I convinced DH to let us stay through the Christmas season so we could celebrate Christmas with our church family.... but I've felt too guilty and depressed to enjoy it! I think we should have picked some other time to leave.
One big regret I have is that I did not have enough forewarning of this to refuse a baby shower... The church ladies gave me a lovely baby shower in June, and I feel terribly guilty over it - it has an awful look of ingratitude about it. I had enough forewarning to refuse post-baby meals after baby's birth, but not enough warning for the shower.
One of my main problems has been submitting to this decision without feeling completely comfortable that it is God's will working itself out through my husband's decision. It well could be, but I'd feel more comfortable if I knew that God was saying, "This is My will for your family and will be a really good thing for you," as opposed to, "This is how you're going to learn how you pay through the nose for a really big mistake!" Because there's no going back. I mean, we could go back, but hurt feelings and loss of trust cannot be forgotten.
I guess I'll be more able to look at this more levelly (?) after six months or a year. Right now I am simply consumed with grief, anger and depression. Will I look back and say, "This really was right"? Or will I regret this decision for the rest of my life?
As I mentioned, I'm having a really hard time in determining what to tell people. I don't want to blame DH - "It's all his fault! Don't blame me!" But at the same time, I want people to know that I would not leave willingly.... which amounts to the same thing. A very hard issue.
So.... Have you had enough whining for the evening yet? Whine, whine, whine. I've been doing that a lot lately... to myself, to my husband, to my poor friend.... Another wonderful church friend told me two weeks ago, "I'll pray that you have a better attitude" - goodness knows I could use it! So I am doing my best not to think about it too much, and not to take it out on DH (as much as possible!).
And again, I realize that DH and I have each made a decision recently that is unpopular with the other - he, that we need to find a new church home; I, that I do not want to homeschool. I'm sure he doesn't want to hear, "Such-and-such would never have happened if we hadn't left our church!", just as I would not want to hear, "Such-and-such would never have happened if we had homeschooled!" So each of us has the whip-hand of the other.... not a bad thing. I bring that fact to mind whenever I want to rake DH over the coals over this.
I have several consolations.... First, that I do believe my husband has thought, deliberated, and prayed over this issue, and has done so for a good amount of time. He does tend to be extremely impulsive, so I am comforted by the fact at least that this is not a decision on impulse.
Secondly, I do believe and hope that at least some of my church friendships will survive this severance. Not all, unfortunately, but some. That will be a matter of time and hard work, as it is hard to keep up with people when one doesn't see them regularly. That will be my job to work on.
Thirdly, I am thankful that I have become involved in the birth community here so that not all of my life is going down the drain - 95% of it, perhaps, as opposed to the 100% it would have been two years ago. That is small comfort, but it is something.
Fourthly, I believe that God can bring great good out of this even if it is a mistake.... I just hope that it's not a mistake.
Now, enough.
To end the evening on a more cheerful note..... Merry Christmas!! I hope that all of you have had wonderful holidays. This was the first Christmas we've had where our son actually knew what was going on and enjoyed and anticipated it. Tiring but fun!! Baby was blissfully oblivious. Speaking of whom, I hear some one crying to be picked up! Ta ta for now!
Though, speaking of HG, the smell of our dish soap lately has been BOTHERING me! "Bothering" as in "bringing back strong memories of morning sickness whenever I smell it" - I know you all know the feeling! We haven't switched brands, so I'm not sure why it's suddenly bringing back these memories, but it's a good reminder to me.
Enough said. Moving on....
Well, we won't have any "puking" today, but the spirit does move me to utter a few yowls, i.e. "whining." Lots of whining. So I'll fulfill at least half of my blog's purpose!
Anyhow, in an entry a few weeks back, I mentioned a decision that my husband was making that I was NOT happy about. That decision has been made..... and it went the way I thought it was going to go.... and that was not the way I wanted it to go. Subsequently, I am not happy! Hence the whining (prepare yourself). Whine, whine, whine.....
The decision (prepare yourself for an anticlimax) was simply this: My husband has decided that it is time for our family to seek a new church home. The fact that I am reacting to this decision with as much anger and grief as if my best friend had died will perhaps be incomprehensible to anyone who does not belong to a small, intimate church body in which the people are loved and cherished as much as the most beloved family.... but that is how my church has been to me, and I have been going through tremendous grief at this decision.
Not to mention several (okay, many) knock-down-drag-out fights with said hubby (no... this is not an admission of superbly mature Christian behavior) over the issue. The decision is recent, but the issue has been up for debate for some time... so it's been quite a stressful fall and winter in our family (try throwing that into the whole postpartum mix for a fun time).
(For any church members reading, no, this is not an issue with any person, ministry, or program... just a "right fit" kind of issue. As a matter of fact, the only church member who regularly reads this blog has already had to listen to my months-on-end kvetching (you know who you are - thank you!!!!), so it's not really an issue, but I wanted to clear that up.)
So it's been stressful! Tension between DH and myself (not fun), tension of leaving the people I love terribly beyond measure, and tension of knowing we'll have to deal with hurt feelings and negative reactions from the same (we're all human, and it's natural to be hurt/angry when people leave). Only a few people know so far, so this coming week I have the cheerful chore ahead of me of letting other friends know that we are leaving.
I convinced DH to let us stay through the Christmas season so we could celebrate Christmas with our church family.... but I've felt too guilty and depressed to enjoy it! I think we should have picked some other time to leave.
One big regret I have is that I did not have enough forewarning of this to refuse a baby shower... The church ladies gave me a lovely baby shower in June, and I feel terribly guilty over it - it has an awful look of ingratitude about it. I had enough forewarning to refuse post-baby meals after baby's birth, but not enough warning for the shower.
One of my main problems has been submitting to this decision without feeling completely comfortable that it is God's will working itself out through my husband's decision. It well could be, but I'd feel more comfortable if I knew that God was saying, "This is My will for your family and will be a really good thing for you," as opposed to, "This is how you're going to learn how you pay through the nose for a really big mistake!" Because there's no going back. I mean, we could go back, but hurt feelings and loss of trust cannot be forgotten.
I guess I'll be more able to look at this more levelly (?) after six months or a year. Right now I am simply consumed with grief, anger and depression. Will I look back and say, "This really was right"? Or will I regret this decision for the rest of my life?
As I mentioned, I'm having a really hard time in determining what to tell people. I don't want to blame DH - "It's all his fault! Don't blame me!" But at the same time, I want people to know that I would not leave willingly.... which amounts to the same thing. A very hard issue.
So.... Have you had enough whining for the evening yet? Whine, whine, whine. I've been doing that a lot lately... to myself, to my husband, to my poor friend.... Another wonderful church friend told me two weeks ago, "I'll pray that you have a better attitude" - goodness knows I could use it! So I am doing my best not to think about it too much, and not to take it out on DH (as much as possible!).
And again, I realize that DH and I have each made a decision recently that is unpopular with the other - he, that we need to find a new church home; I, that I do not want to homeschool. I'm sure he doesn't want to hear, "Such-and-such would never have happened if we hadn't left our church!", just as I would not want to hear, "Such-and-such would never have happened if we had homeschooled!" So each of us has the whip-hand of the other.... not a bad thing. I bring that fact to mind whenever I want to rake DH over the coals over this.
I have several consolations.... First, that I do believe my husband has thought, deliberated, and prayed over this issue, and has done so for a good amount of time. He does tend to be extremely impulsive, so I am comforted by the fact at least that this is not a decision on impulse.
Secondly, I do believe and hope that at least some of my church friendships will survive this severance. Not all, unfortunately, but some. That will be a matter of time and hard work, as it is hard to keep up with people when one doesn't see them regularly. That will be my job to work on.
Thirdly, I am thankful that I have become involved in the birth community here so that not all of my life is going down the drain - 95% of it, perhaps, as opposed to the 100% it would have been two years ago. That is small comfort, but it is something.
Fourthly, I believe that God can bring great good out of this even if it is a mistake.... I just hope that it's not a mistake.
Now, enough.
To end the evening on a more cheerful note..... Merry Christmas!! I hope that all of you have had wonderful holidays. This was the first Christmas we've had where our son actually knew what was going on and enjoyed and anticipated it. Tiring but fun!! Baby was blissfully oblivious. Speaking of whom, I hear some one crying to be picked up! Ta ta for now!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Happy Beginning-of-Life Day, Baby!
No, I am not pregnant. Just realized that the title might be misleading, so I thought I'd better disclaim first.
Anyhow....
A midwife friend of mine said some time ago that she always celebrates her baby's first beginning-of-life (my own phrase) day - the day when he/she began life on this planet (as in "day of conception" rather than "day of birth"). I thought it was a lovely idea, and I intended to celebrate our baby's beginning-of-life day - and I just remembered today that it was four days ago! Ah well, better late than never.
December 12, 2008 was the day when I charted that cute little basal body temperature-rise that signals that ovulation has occurred... and knew that unless God Himself intervened, we would most likely conceive that cycle. I won't say why. Ahem. And one week later, when the nausea and heartburn hit, I knew I'd been correct!
Actually, in some ways, since conception occurs within 0-48 hours after ovulation, you could say that I knew about our baby before he was conceived! Pretty cool. (Long live Natural Family Planning!)
So.... Happy First Beginning-of-Life Day, Baby! You have been a most welcome addition to our family!
Anyhow....
A midwife friend of mine said some time ago that she always celebrates her baby's first beginning-of-life (my own phrase) day - the day when he/she began life on this planet (as in "day of conception" rather than "day of birth"). I thought it was a lovely idea, and I intended to celebrate our baby's beginning-of-life day - and I just remembered today that it was four days ago! Ah well, better late than never.
December 12, 2008 was the day when I charted that cute little basal body temperature-rise that signals that ovulation has occurred... and knew that unless God Himself intervened, we would most likely conceive that cycle. I won't say why. Ahem. And one week later, when the nausea and heartburn hit, I knew I'd been correct!
Actually, in some ways, since conception occurs within 0-48 hours after ovulation, you could say that I knew about our baby before he was conceived! Pretty cool. (Long live Natural Family Planning!)
So.... Happy First Beginning-of-Life Day, Baby! You have been a most welcome addition to our family!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
HG on the Dr. Phil Show
Thanks to Anna for posting this!
Dr. Phil talks about Hyperemesis Gravidarum
Click on the story link to read the article, and then click on the "Talk about the Show" link to see many, many women writing in with their HG stories. Some of them are heart-wrenching.
Publicity is wonderful!
Dr. Phil talks about Hyperemesis Gravidarum
Click on the story link to read the article, and then click on the "Talk about the Show" link to see many, many women writing in with their HG stories. Some of them are heart-wrenching.
Publicity is wonderful!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Mourning
I had hoped never to be writing this again, but once again, our dear friends' babies are now in heaven.
I had been haunting Facebook and my friend's blog for news ever since Thursday, when I was expecting their announcement (their transfer of their adopted babies was on the 2nd), and by today I was pretty seriously worried. They announced this afternoon that their test results confirmed the worst.
I am devastated for this family. They have now dealt with years of infertility, adoption paperwork, and two failed transfers. I can't even imagine what they're going through. God knows what He is doing, but we do not... I'm not sure that my faith would hold up as well as theirs has.
The next time I make an announcement for this sweet family, I sincerely hope that it will be about an upcoming birth. Praying for them!
I had been haunting Facebook and my friend's blog for news ever since Thursday, when I was expecting their announcement (their transfer of their adopted babies was on the 2nd), and by today I was pretty seriously worried. They announced this afternoon that their test results confirmed the worst.
I am devastated for this family. They have now dealt with years of infertility, adoption paperwork, and two failed transfers. I can't even imagine what they're going through. God knows what He is doing, but we do not... I'm not sure that my faith would hold up as well as theirs has.
The next time I make an announcement for this sweet family, I sincerely hope that it will be about an upcoming birth. Praying for them!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)